A Secret Thought
by ElishaX
Summary: Hermione has a deadly secret. She hides if from the world. Everyone believes there is nothing wrong, except for Malfoy. He's the one boy she despises, the only one who seems to notice, and the one boy she is forced to share Common Rooms with.
1. Chapter I

**Memo:** Hi, I've just started writitng on this site. I've written on Harry Potter Quizilla andMugglenet But I'm confused witht that site so screw it :S) I don't own the characters blah blah so J.K. Rowling can't sue me now. All OC belong to me so no touchy. Please R&R I've completed this story and it has a total of 48 chapters. If you'd like to read some of my other fictions...I'm not telling you where they are so you can't figure out the ending

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The train approached her and she couldn't peel her eyes away from it. It was as if the train from hell itself was coming just to wait for all the willing people to climb aboard. It would then take them down to the very fiery pits of the one place that caused people to fear doing evil. It would bellow and chug along the tracks with smoke pounding from the engine. The grill would seem to sneer at her, smiling, laughing at the fact that she was one of the innocents caught up in the storm, unwillingly forced into its cool depths to wait patiently for fate to swallow her whole

She swallowed and straightened her blouse. The train was supposed to be her saviour. It was supposed to whisk her away to a magical world where all anyone did was laugh and smile. Where things could fly and hearts could soar. Where everyone put aside their usually differences and basked in the glory of their single similarity the fact that they were not as different as it was made to seem and somewhere in the world, they were accepted.

She took a shaky breath. This year was different. This year she would not be accepted. This year she would not be welcomed and embraced with open arms. This year they would see themselves as being welcoming and accepting, but that was not what they were. On some sort of subconscious level where they knew her secret, they would shun her. The rest would be in denial and assume that would pass eventually and she would grow stronger for it.

As the train pulled to a stop, chugging, putting off an awful smell she hesitantly took a heavy step forward. She felt as if she were walking through cement, each step heavier than the last, weighing her down.

The single phrase, so well known and cherished, played soundlessly through her mind.

_'What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.'_

She took her first few cruel steps as she climbed onto the train. It was filled with students who smiled and laughed at her, greeting her cheerfully. She gave them weak smiles and answered politely to some of the more simple questions thrown her way. She lied to half of them, but it didn't matter right now.

Right now all she needed was quiet.

She found an empty compartment quickly and shoved her things inside. She sat down on the bench, relishing in the feeling. She curled up into a tight ball and closed her eyes. Her head felt congested. She felt faint. She wished that someone would just take her in their arms and whisk her away to a better place. To a place where everything just didn't hurt so much.

She was finally fading into a simple, calm oblivion of dreamless sleep when there was a rapt knocking at her door.

She leaned over and carefully slid the door open. Ron and Harry stood there, both tall and strong with messy heads of hair and sparkling eyes. Seeing their lop sided smiles she couldn't help but grin pleasantly in return.

"Hermione! It's been a bloody awful long time!" Ron exclaimed and wrapped her up in his arms, picking her up. She let out a small gasp at his strong hold on her but still enjoyed the feeling. He accepted her for what he thought she was, not who she is or could become.

"Well, you're all grown up," she giggled airily and ran her arms down his own firm, bulking ones. He blushed crimson and she regretted this simple action for it might have come off as flirting to the unsuspicious. She pulled out of his arms and felt the subtle regret in Ron's body language as she turned to Harry.

"Harry... looks like the Dursleys have been taking care of you after all," she said and ran thin, trembling fingers through the bangs of her hair. Didn't they see? Didn't they notice how feeble and frail she looked? Was her act really so convincing the two most important people in the world did not notice?

Harry rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his thick, messy black hair that never grew any longer or seemed any shorter. It was a charming gesture, this simple act of combing his fingers through his hair. It was no wonder that Ginny had a crush on him. Hermione wished that she could have feelings for Ron or Harry. She wished that she could share her pain with them.

It would just be a burden on them and she'd never do that. She was better off alone. She was better off just plainly lonely.

"Hardly, Hermione. Though they were a bit better after Dumbledore's whole letter to Petunia, I was still just the mangy mutt they were forced to feed table scraps and keep hidden when company came. Didn't bother me, of course. Not like I wanted to be near the anorexic woman and her blimp family," Harry snickered. Ron nodded seriously.

"I'm surprised Dudley hasn't eaten his Aunt yet," Ron whispered. Hermione let out a sweet giggle. She did not know that she had something like that left in her. She took a deep breath and looked at them both sweetly. She watched as they laughed and joked. She watched as Harry punched Rons arm and Ron caught him in a headlock. She watched them do their boyish things and eat their food as if they had endless pits for sweets.

She hadn't even noticed the train having started. She supposed that the train wasn't going to hell, after all. One doing so would not be this peaceful.

"Oh look, it's the mud blood, Potty, and the Weasel. Are we all having fun now? Harry how's your scar?" Malfoy curled his fingers through the doors like long, thin claws. He looked at all of them and sneered, his platinum blonde eerily bright and well kept and his flawless skin pale in the fluorescent lights. His eyes, silver blue like the water on the night of a full moon, gleamed at all of them with a smugness that made Hermione sick to her stomach.

"Why don't you run off and kiss Snapes ass some more, you ugly little bleached ferret," Harry snapped back. Malfoy shot a poisonous stare at Harry and even hissed. He was such a snake... a serpent... a slithering foul creature whose touch sent chills of disgust up your spine.

"Of course POTTER is the one to retort because he just needs ALL the glory," Malfoy snickered. "Weasel couldn't even AFFORD a good comeback." Malfoy's cronies snickered like trained gorillas, making hiccupping chuckles.

"Malfoy, why is it that you're just so loathsome? I'm sure your mother even finds it hard to love you," Hermione said, trying to make her voice sound as strong as possible. He then looked in her direction. His eyes went up and down her and she grimaced at the feel of his eyes on her. For one split moment, time slowed down. They're eyes locked and she swore she saw a glimpse of...pity in his eyes?

"Oh look, seems like the mud blood has finally become disgusted with HERSELF she looks ill. What, the thought of being a mud blood finally make you nauseous? I know it has been making ME nauseous for AGES..."

"What are you talking about, Ferret?" Ron snapped at Malfoy irritably. Malfoy cocked an eyebrow at him.

Hermione was busy puzzling how it was that Malfoy noticed the subtle difference in the way she looked while both Ron and Harry seemed oblivious to it. She took a deep sigh and turned her attention back to the feud at hand.

"Look at Granger, you imbecile! She looks half dead! Ready to pass out! Oh, I forget, you possess as little brains as you do money," Malfoy snickered. Hermione closed her eyes. This was her seventh year. Why couldn't Malfoy just shut up? Why couldn't she have one year of peace without him snickering and commenting on every little thing? The year would be splendid without him... or as splendid as possible considering.

After his father was released from Azkaban nearing the end of last school year, he had been particularly smug. It seemed now his head had triple in size with his own ego.

"Hermione are you alright?" Harry asked quietly. Hermione gives him a half smile and sighed.

"Of course I am, Harry, I just think I've become a bit nauseous with Malfoy standing so close... the stench of his bull is almost dizzying..." she fanned a hand in front of her face and fluttered her eyelids, pretending to almost faint. Ron and Harry laughed at her cover/joke. She looked at Malfoy daringly with her eyes.

Instead, the blonde haired serpent just stared at her suspiciously for an extra long moment. He then focused on all three of them and stopped singling her out. He fished in his pocket for something, his smug attitude slowly inflating his blimp head.

"I just came to warn you three to watch your step this year because I have all high authority. I'm head boy this year, and what I say goes. That means one toe out of line and Ill have you out of Hogwarts so fast the papers wont even be able to print it in their PRECIOUS papers that their PRECIOUS Potter and company have been expelled before they're already gone," he snickered triumphantly and flashed a letter and Head Boy badge. Ron and Harry rolled their eyes as Malfoy left, snickering triumphantly.

"That's just perfect. This is going to be a hell of a year."

"I cant believe Malfoy is Head Boy... this is unacceptable..." she whispered.

"We all knew it was coming, Hermione. I mean, god, Snape is practically IN LOVE with the boy..." Harry tried to comfort her.

"Its not that, Harry," she murmured and began digging through her things.

"Then what is it? What's wrong? Are you feeling queasy?" Ron asked urgently, desperate to make up for not noticing how she was acting earlier.

"I was feeling fine until just a moment ago," she mumbled the lie quickly. She found what she was looking for and held it up with her trembling fingers, the pride long ago extinguished and now regret and sorrow filled her heart.

"Oh no..."

"Hermione..."

"I'm so sorry..."

"You're..."

"Head Girl," she answered sadly and stared at the shining badge, and all of a sudden she had the urge to chuck it at the slithering ferrets inflated head.


	2. Chapter II

**Memo: **A chapter a day keeps the angry fans away. I seem to be updating at school and gets shoved across and friend types

Hiiiiiiiiiii! I'm Wendy! I'm in control right now... So... How's life? Goood? Good. End of story -Leaves-

As I was saying whacks hand across friend head I seem to be updating at school because I've finished this story and... yeah. Thanks to the two people to vote love nick and Lady Arachnia

gets shoved across again

Hugs and kisses for the reviewers! YAAAAAY! If you don't like them I can send you cookies if you really want ; -Leaves again-

On to the story. Oh and I don't own Harry Potter Blah blah...

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Hermione did not want to go to the Prefect compartment. Though Ron would be joining her, it would not be the same. She would be in command. He would not be able to speak to her, to whisper comforting or assuring things in her ear, and most of all Malfoy (the foul scum) would be at her side in Ron's place. This was supposed to be her most glorious year. Ron a prefect, Hermione Head Girl, and Harry captain of the Quidditch team (as appointed the year before), they were all supposed to laugh and further procrastinate their thinking of Voldemort. His threat had been growing at a rapid pace, but Hermione did not like to think about that. She liked to think about things that made her smile, seeing as there was so little that did so during these depressing days.

"Hermione, shouldn't we be going?" Ron asked and furrowed his eyebrows. Hermione took a deep breath and a soft moan escaped her lips. Neither Harry nor Ron knew why, but it was hard to notice the minor twitch of pain in her right eye.

"Hermione, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Harry asked quizzically.

"Yes, I mean I had to remind YOU of our responsibilities," Ron observed dramatically. Hermione gave them a tiresome smile, trying her best to be discrete.

"I'm fine, boys. I was just going over the textbooks that I bought in Diagon Alley in my mind. Cant be too prepared, now can we?" she asked with a quiet smirk. Harry laughed.

"Yep, she's feeling alright. Now you two run off and be good students. I suppose I should start going around and speaking with the Quidditch team... Ron you remember what we talked about?" Harry asked. Ron nodded eagerly. He looked at Hermione with a cock-eye smile.

"Hermione you should see me play! I've gotten twice as good as I was from last year!" he gloated. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Ron, we already made it clear to you last year that you ARE a good Keeper and you ARE better than Oliver Wood used to be. After you won that final match in our fifth year you've been an INCREDIBLE Quidditch player, and I don't even care for the sport. Now can we PLEASE go?" she asked impatiently, wanting to quickly get the meeting over with.

Ron looked at her and chuckled; obviously proud of himself and the way he had excelled so quickly in the sport after he had gotten over how nervous he was in front of crowds. Harry rolled his eyes and waved goodbye, separating from his two friends for the rest of the train ride.

They walked briskly to the compartment. Stepping inside quietly, Hermione shut the door and sighed. She smiled brightly at Ginny who was looking rather bored and lonely. She brightened the moment she saw Hermione's face.

"What took you so long? I thought you'd come immediately here! I've been waiting forever!" Ginny said in exasperation as she threw her arms around Hermione's neck tightly. Hermione embraced the girl though she did not find the hug as satisfying as she had Ron's. It had something to do with the tight hold and the comfort between her and Ron that made things different. She and Ginny could hug, but it was always just a little awkward. They weren't as good of friends as she and Ron were.

"How was your summer?" Hermione asked lightly. Ginny looked at Hermione and shrugged while pulling away from their embrace.

"It was alright. Fred and George kept on sending us anonymous packages or ones from false identities. Soon we had to stand about ten feet away to open any mail so as we did turn orange or all of a sudden sprout a beak or something," Ginny laughed. Hermione smiled, remembering several packages she had received from the twins.

She was filled with a cold sadness when she remembered how she never even got a chance to open them.

"So how was your summer?" Ginny asked Hermione. She was quiet for a moment.

"It was fun," she said simply. Ginny rolled her eyes. She was so open about what she thought and how she felt. She was upfront and stubborn, beautiful with her straight red hair and bright smile. She was glowing with spirit and a light heart... Hermione never wished more to be like Ginny.

"Hermione, don't be so vague! I need details!" She pulled her friend down on the seat, next to Cho Chang, who was also a prefect. The girls did not greet each other. The two had never been on very good terms.

"Well," Hermione started. Lies and stories filled her mind quickly, flooding and taking over. She did not even consider telling Ginny the truth. "I read, and that took up most of my time. I had to explain a billion things to Mum and Dad about the Wizarding World. Crookshanks got fleas, the poor thing," Hermione said quietly. She remembered Crookshanks, snoozing quietly in his cage, and she reminded herself quietly to let him out to stretch his legs when she got the chance.

Ginny gave Hermione a pitying smile.

"And I thought I had a dull summer," Ginny said seriously. Hermione shrugged and gave her a quiet smile.

_'If you only knew.'_

"Ginny got herself a boyfriend," Ron said and eased himself down in the seat across from them. Hermione looked him up and down briefly and secretively. He was such a handsome boy who wore his heart on his sleeve.

She tried to stir up the cinders. She tried to make some sort of warmth blossom in her chest or her stomach. She would have even been content with her an unexplained warmth in her feet when she looked at him.

Ron looked down in embarrassment when Hermione realized she was staring at her best friend. She looked away, her expression impassive. She then cracked a smile at her.

"Oh really? What's his name?" she asked. Ginny sighed.

"His name is Billy Harris. I wanted to tell you but obviously Ron couldn't wait to break the news," Ginny said in frustration.

"Yea, well I don't like him!" Ron snapped stubbornly. Hermione laughed at how protective the redheaded boy was.

"You don't like him because he's a muggle!" Ginny snapped back with a familiar stubborn fire in her eyes. Hermione was taken back.

"You're dating a muggle?" she asked quietly. Ginny nodded with a smile on his face.

"Yea. It was the strangest thing, too. I was out for a walk and he was completely lost. I couldn't help but invite him home to meet my family..."

"He knows about magic?" Hermione gasped. Ginny giggled as her eyes sparkled magically. Hermione was in awe at the girl's feelings for her boyfriend.

"Yes. Oh, don't worry. He knew all about magic when I met him. You see when we met it was more of he almost ran into my on his bicycle, and he swerved out of the way. I fell backwards and my wand fell out of my pocket. That's how we started talking his brother is a wizard," she said quickly. Hermione nodded, understanding a little more.

"Well... is he cute?" Hermione asked. She wasn't all about studying and books and learning. She did care about the same things as other girls did, including how handsome a boy was. Ginny gasped and her eyes rolled up in her head as she bit her lip.

"He is BEYOND cute. He is ADORABLE. He is HOT. He is the definition of GOOD-LOOKING," she said overdramatically. Hermione laughed. That was Ginny. She always had a flare for the dramatic.

"How old is he?" Hermione asked.

"Sixteen, just like me," she said with a small smile. Hermione couldn't help but be proud of Ginny. She was thankful Ginny had gotten over her crush on Harry in their third year. It would have been quite awkward if she were still in love with him while he was not exactly interested in a relationship at the moment.

Hermione sighed sadly. Harry was going through so much. After Sirius death he had never quite been the same. He tried, but his heart had just become so cold and hard. It was as if nothing could penetrate it. She pitied Harry.

"I'm so happy for you," Hermione said sweetly.

Ginny noticed as Hermione's face had such a subtle cringe it was nearly unnoticeable. It seemed that Hermione was in pain but she did not want anyone to see. So Ginny said nothing and gave Hermione a thankful smile to her comment and was quiet. Hermione leaned back and closed her eyes, seemingly enjoying the lack of conversation.

"Well, now that you're all here, let us begin," Professor McGonagall said the moment after Malfoy entered the compartment. He had obviously been showing off his Head Boy privileges to anyone who would listen.

Hermione did not hear the things she said. She did not hear about the schedules. She kept her eyes squeezed tightly shut. She could practically feel the color draining from her face. The light hurt. She took the paper without even looking at it, holding it in her trembling fingers.

She felt someone shaking her arm. She refused to accept the fact that she had to open her eyes. She refused the fact that she had to wake up. She refused to listen to the orders of others. She just wanted to curl up and sleep for the rest of the day. She just wanted to ignore her responsibilities for once and just do what she wished.

"Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall asked gently. Hermione pried open her eyes and stared at the Professor. She closed her eyes momentarily for a moment and regretfully opened them again. Draco Malfoy stood in the corner, looking like a stone, not a hint of feeling or any sort of compassion on his featured face.

"I'm sorry, Professor," she said quietly and strained to stand. McGonagall placed a hand on her shoulder and firmly made her resume her seat.

"Miss Granger is it..."

"Professor, I'm absolutely fine," Hermione said and waved her hand as if the matter were nothing. She wanted to tell the Professor she was not alright but she wanted everyone to leave her alone. That wasn't going to happen. That was as likely as her lie being the truth. For her to be completely isolated was going to be as likely as her being completely all right.

McGonagall shook her head, disbelieving her lies.

"If you want I can speak with Professor Dumbledore and excuse you to your quarters for the evening...with your condition I'm sure that would be no problem," she said gently. Hermione stubbornly stood up.

"I told you I'm fine! Please, Professor, stop treating me as if I'm just some piece of china!" Hermione said and rushed from the compartment.

"Miss Granger!" McGonagall called after her in worry. "Please, come back her for a moment," she said sternly. Hermione hesitated for a moment and then sighed, her shoulders slumped in defeat. She turned and walked back to the Professor. Her legs felt wobbly and she could feel clammy sweat on her forehead.

"Yes?" she asked. Professor McGonagall sighed

"This evening, you and Mr. Malfoy will supervise the Prefects and make sure that everyone is situated. Then you will return to your quarters. The password into the common room is charlatan..."

"That's a peculiar password," Hermione thought out loud. McGonagall shrugged.

"What does charlatan mean?" Draco asked a blush in his pale face at not knowing this. Hermione turned to him.

"I figured you should know. You are the definition of one,"

Hermione shot at him. She then blushed and looked at the ground. "Sorry, Professor," she mumbled. The woman looked at Hermione disapprovingly and pursed her lips.

"Mr. Malfoy, charlatan means someone who boasts lies, is a poser, and... other things," McGonagall said simply. He opened his mouth to snap back at Hermione but McGonagall shot him a warning glare and he shut his mouth quickly.

"I was hoping the two of you would put aside your petty differences for at least this one year, considering your living accommodations. For this little outbreak, Miss Granger, is has proven that my hopes proved pointless. The two of you are now going to be under watch. If your grades slip, you appear disheveled in the morning," her eyes flickered momentarily to Hermione, "or if any one of the staff notice anything other than civil behavior towards one another, you will both be reprieved of your duties entirely. You will not even be a prefect," McGonagall said simply. Malfoy seemed utterly displeased at the thought but said nothing of it. The Professor sighed. "You can now return to your compartments."

Hermione turned and left quickly and quietly. She meant to run away from the two of them as fast as possible.

She would cuddle with Crookshanks and whisper all of her troubles into his ear. He would purr affectionately and not judge her at all, and then nuzzle her face before falling asleep in her arms.

She craved this acceptance and affection so much she was almost sprinting to her compartment.

When she reached there, she noticed that she was alone. Ron had gone off in search of Harry and Ginny would be with her friends.

She closed the compartment door quietly, standing up straight with a solid expression for anyone who was watching. It closed with a click and she turned, taking a single shaky breath.

She threw herself down on the bench and began to cry.


	3. Chapter III

The rest of the night was like a blur. She could barely remember climbing off the train. She didnt hear anything said at dinner. She didnt notice who was sorted into what houses. She grasped the Head Girl badge tightly in her fingers, running her firm skin against the shiny smooth metal.

Everyone was dismissed. They all headed in a wave back to their common rooms. Hermione lingered and looked about her, taking in the last of the incredible smells from dinner. With a deep sigh she began to walk heavy-footed towards the Great Hall doors.

She avoided Malfoy as much as possible. His full-moon-on-water eyes were challenging everyones opinion and authority they thought they had. Hermione watched helplessly as he unjustly took away ten points from a Gryffindor student.

Hermione wanted to help, but she couldnt. This evening she just didnt have the energy. Tomorrow she would be fine. It was just the way things worked. She tugged on a handful of hair and closed her eyes quietly, wishing all of it to go away. She knew she was not fulfilling her responsibilities but at the moment she did not care. She just wanted to go to bed and sleep it all away.

"Granger?" a rather cool voice said. Just hearing his voice felt like a melting ice cube was sliding down her back. She pried her eyes open and saw Malfoy standing there, looking smug. He seemed to be hiding something beneath those cold eyes. Something that felt just the tiniest bit warm.

"What, Malfoy?" she asked as she tried to keep the bitterness and the revulsion to a minimum, heading McGonagall warning. At the moment she just felt like beating the living day lights out of the boy so she wouldnt have to deal with the responsibility of Head Girl or share a common room with the creature. She knew she would regret giving it up the next morning, so she clenched her fists at her sides and watched him warily.

"We need to go to our dormitories," he growled. She could see the physical strain he was under while refraining from calling her mud blood and insulting her in any other way. She couldnt help but feel a bit better at the thought of his being civil to her.

She simply nodded and stood, straightening her pleaded skirt and brushing out the wrinkles from her blouse. She smoothed down her bushy hair and straightened up.

"What are you doing?" Malfoy asked critically as his eyes looked her up and down. Hermione grimaced at the thought of his eyes on her.

"Im making myself presentable," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. Malfoy rolled his eyes and did not ask whom she was making herself presentable for. Instead, consciously or subconsciously, he also smoothed down his hair and straightened his robes very subtly. Of course Hermione noticed. She just had a tendency to notice little things like that.

"Do you remember the password?"he asked. She nodded.

"Charlatan," she said simply as they slowly approached it. The two of them knew exactly where the Head Boy/Girl dormitories were. They had both been striving for this position for their past six years at school. Of course they were going to approach the entrance and look at it longingly, fantasizing about the day they were given the privilege to step through the portrait.

"I am not a charlatan," he murmured under his breath and kicked at the floor, leaving a black scuff mark. Hermione watched him, noticing the strain in his face and how he continued to mumble things under his breath. Being in her presence and holding his tongue was proving to be quite difficult for him.

She held her tongue and also said nothing as they approached the portrait.

It was of a very refined man. Hermione had never introduced herself and thought it appropriate. He looked like a middle-aged man with an elegant nose and a very muscular figure. It was of his chest up and he had hair swept back, much resembling Draco's despite the fact that his was a brown color. He had warm brown eyes and a bright smile. Hermione liked the man instantly.

"Hello, sir, my name is Hermione Granger," she introduced herself with a kind smile. He looked at her and grinned appropriately.

"Hello, Miss Granger. My name is Sir Paul Bentley," he said as he craned his head in a modest boy. Malfoy sneered at the portrait and snapped his name. Sir Bentley looked rather coldly at the boy and squinted. Malfoy hissed the password and he climbed inside quickly, disappearing into the dark. Sir Bentley closed and then looked at Hermione cautiously.

"Are you going to be alright in there with THAT boy?" he asked, obviously not particularly caring for Malfoy. Hermione smiled at the fact that the portrait cared to ask and felt her warming up to the man forever trapped in pictures. She thought he must be dreadfully lonely. She would befriend him and at least they would have company while being lonesome.

"I'll be fine, Sir Bentley. Good night," she said and then whispered the password as she climbed through the portrait hole. She fumbled through the dark entrance momentarily before she came into a brightly lit common room. She smiled, for it was everything she had always imagined.

Lush couches and armchairs surrounded the comfort of a large, warming fire. There were no colors representing either Slytherin or Gryffindor and Hermione was thankful for it. She did not need to be competing with Malfoy as to who showed the most House Spirit. She knew that Malfoy would have gotten ridiculous and gone all out, leaving her standing in the dust.

She walked in and sat down on the couch, staring into the fire. With a sigh she decided that it was comforting here and she didnt feel the need to go to the Gryffindor tower very often if ever. She enjoyed the privacy. She enjoyed being alone.

Malfoy stalked out, his hair as smug as ever.

"Well we get out own bathrooms thank god," he said. Hermione shot him a warning glare and he rolled his eyes. "I mean because youre a GIRL, not because you're...something else. Girls are ALWAYS in the bathroom and they always have so much stuff to muddy up the counters," he sighed and plopped down in the armchair. He looked her up and down.

"What are you looking at?" Hermione asked icily but quietly, neither yelling nor whispering. Malfoy leaned in and furrowed his eyebrows. The fire danced incredibly in his silver blue eyes and the shadows cast on his skin were haunting and mysterious. Hermione almost saw depth in the boy, but she was over that misconception quite quickly.

"I was looking at you, Granger. What exactly is wrong with you?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously. Hermione felt the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck stand up on end. Why was he so relentless? Couldn't he just let her live her days in peace?

"Your constant interrogation is what is wrong with me," she said to him coolly and adverted her eyes. He rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.

"Here I am trying to be civil to you and youre just being a god awful b..."

"Draco Malfoy, are you positive you want to finish that sentence?" Hermione dared him with her eyes. He bit his lip and then made an angry sort of cry and stomped his foot before turning around quickly and rushing into his bedroom, slamming the door like an immature brat.

Hermione rolled her eyes at the boys temper. She hadnt done a single thing wrong. He shouldnt blame her for not wanting to be his friend and spill every one of her dark secrets to him after all the years of torture he put her through.

She walked to her dormitory and found all of her things resting at the end of her bed. Slowly, she began to unpack. Carefully she set down her spare robes, her textbooks, and other things. She closed her eyes and sighed. She couldnt wait for sleep to overcome her, but for some reason she couldnt help but feel guilty for the way she treated Malfoy.

Guilty? Why should she feel guilty about treating him the way he deserved to be treated? She was just being silly.

Yet she knew that she could not be able to sleep peacefully until she apologized to him. It was already awkward enough without her adding to it.

So she quietly set down her things and headed out of her room. She walked across the Common Room quietly and to the door. She took a shaky breath and knocked on the door. She instantly regretted it, realizing she had no idea what to say.

The door cracked open just slightly.

"What?" he asked in the same cold and relentlessly repulsed manner she had spoken to him in.

"I wanted to apologize for the way I've acted. I've just had a rough week," she said quietly. The door opened the rest of the way and he stood there, studying her face with his eyes.

Hermione noticed something was off about Draco the moment that he stepped out of the door. At first she couldnt see what until her eyes traveled downward

He was wearing nothing but a baggy pair of pants that hung low on his hips. He had been preparing for bed when she interrupted him.

She pried her eyes away from his bare chest and glued her eyes to his own. It took all of her might not to stare at him and take note of every curve of his muscles and the precise skin tone of his delicious looking skin...

Hermione growled deep in her throat. These were the most embarrassing things she had ever thought. She had to admit that Malfoy did have good looks. Then again, if looks were based on personality, a Mountain Troll would be sexier than this... slithering...disgusting... evil... ferret.

"I just wanted to know what was wrong." He looked her up and down again. "Granger you look like hell. Go to the nurse and get some medication or something," he replied heavily and shut the door in her face. br

She withdrew and slowly trudged back to her room to continue to unpack. She pulled out a small bag and opened it carefully.

She quietly pulled out a bottle of medication, rattling with pills inside. She took a deep breath.

"If only you knew," she said quietly and set the pills down on her nightstand, before drawing another bottle from her bag. Then another... and another... and another... and another.

She lay down on her bed and curled up, falling into a peaceful and dreamless sleep, still wearing clothes from the afternoon.

She was right when she first stepped on the train that morning.

Hogwarts was hell.


	4. Chapter IV

**Memo: **_Sorry for the Long delay. It's been school holidays and I didn't think about updating ; sorry for all those patient people. Also someone told me I've been stealing from breathinwhispers. Its actually the other way around. I told and asked her...nicely to take it down. You see I have this story on two other sites. I've been looking for a good review and I've finally found one 3 Anyway ONTO THE STORY! Please REVIEW as harshly as you can._

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Hermione slammed her hand down on her alarm clock the next morning, a small smile on her face. She felt so lively that morning; she was going to have a good day. She loved her good days… they were just… great.  
She stood and stripped out of her outfit quietly and headed for the bathroom. After a quick and exhilarating shower she went to the counter where she had set all of her things. She looked sadly at all of her medication and decided to put that off until later. She couldn't have them until after she ate anyways. She'd have to do it secretly; she didn't want anyone to notice the fact that she was on any sort of medication.  
She wanted everyone to just think and accept that she was all right.

She pulled a single pill out of each of the five small bottles and set them in a plastic cup. She brushed her teeth and combed her hair. Sighing, she looked in the mirror, she looked decent this morning. She knew that she would be getting a letter from her parents, checking in on her.

She held the small cup and left the bathroom. What was she supposed to do with it? Looking around helplessly, she found a piece of paper. She used a rubber band and closed it over the mouth of the cup and smiled, slipping it into her pocket.  
She walked into the common room and saw Malfoy lying lazily on the couch, still in just those baggy pants, flipping through the Daily Prophet as if he had not a care in the world.

"You've already been to breakfast?" she asked curiously. He nodded, not looking up from the paper. He noticed that the breakfast on the coffee table was untouched. She stood and started walking towards the door.

"Granger," he said gruffly. She turned around and looked at him. "This is yours," he motioned towards the plate of food. "Peace offering," he said simply. She looked at him suspicious, but the breakfast just looked so tempting she couldn't resist. Hesitantly at first, she walked towards the table. She sat at the couch and quietly began to eat. It was still hot.  
She wondered if he poisoned it,. She hoped not. She couldn't stop eating. After not having an appetite the night before she was ravenous this morning.

"You seem to be feeling better," Draco, said, still not looking up from the paper. He lazily turned the page. Hermione felt her eyes flicker over his body and then looked away in disgust. Not at the way he looked. She felt disgust at herself for even looking.

"Yes. I think I just had a cold," she lied as if it were the easiest thing to do. She took another bite of toast with blackberry jam spread on it perfectly. She closed her eyes and savoured the flavour.

"That's good," he said simply. She noticed how distant their conversation was, they were both trying desperately hard to get along. Just in the Common Room at least. Outside they would simply ignore each other's existence. Here they could at least carry out a distant civil conversation of simple small talk.

She finished her breakfast quietly. She took out the cupful of pills and poured them into her mouth. She took a big swallow of water and grimaced at the bitter aftertaste.

"What are those pills for?" Malfoy asked, his eyes flickering towards her as he set down the paper. Hermione went pale. He had been so quiet that she had completely forgotten he was there.

"They're just vitamins. Calcium and Vitamin A and Protein… one for my complexion and another to help manage my weight," she said. Malfoy laughed at the last one.

"Granger, trust me, you're thin. You don't have to worry about getting fat," he rolled his eyes and stood up, walking over to his bedroom. She stared at his back; it was strong, with thick shoulder blades and tight skin around his ribs. She could barely see his spine through his skin. His shoulders were wide and proud.  
There was a long, thick pink scar that sliced the perfection of his back, diagonal from the top of his right shoulder blade to the bottom of his left.  
Hermione was silent and looked away, playing with the small plastic cup in her hands. Guilt filled her. There was more to Malfoy than she gave him credit for. He was just so vile! Why couldn't he develop people skills and actually be nice to her? That would make her year so much easier.  
Then again that was exactly what he was doing. He was being nice to her; He had brought her breakfast, hadn't he? Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she had seemed sick the night before.  
She was sitting on the couch quietly, staring at the cup in her fingertips.

"What are you waiting for?" Malfoy asked simply as he walked out, fully dressed. She looked him up and down and gave him a bright smile.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about what today was going to be like," she said. Malfoy shrugged.

"I could care less. You think too much, Granger."

_'Not anymore…'_

"Hmm," she just mumbled quietly. She felt something rub up against her leg. Crookshanks purred and hopped up on her lap. She gave him a tight squeeze and buried her face in the cat's orange fur. It was a very pleasant feeling and she was filled once again with warmth and comfort.

"That's one ugly cat, Granger," Malfoy said and pocketed his wand carefully. Hermione glared at him.

"I think he's adorable," she mumbled and kissed the top of the feline's head. Malfoy snickered.

"If you think THAT thing is adorable you must compare me to a Mountain Troll," he said with humour in his eyes. Hermione couldn't help but giggle. Not at the thought of comparing Malfoy to a Troll, but because the night before she HAD compared him to a troll.  
The irony made her laugh.

Malfoy looked at her for a moment oddly. She withdrew and cowered at the authority in his gaze. She had never backed down from him before, but this morning there was something different.

"What's that?" he asked and pointed to the back of her head. Her hands went up there and she rubbed the back of her neck. She grimaced when she felt the thick welt there and each individual stitch.

"It's nothing of your concern!" she snapped and tossed Crookshanks aside before rushing out of the room without a single look back at the confused and handsome boy.


	5. Chapter V

**Memo: **_Hey Again All Flamers are welcome. Just not those newbie ones that say "OMIGOSH UR STORI SVCKS." That doesn't count. A long flame with comments about how I could improve my stories is what I'm looking for._

_Hope You enjoy reading this._

_----_

It was lunchtime. She really wasnt very hungry. The breakfast would tie her over until dinner.

She regretted shouting at Malfoy. Things had finally become civil between the two. Then she had to go and ruin it just because she couldn't keep her temper. She deeply sighed and headed out onto the grounds. She would go and see Hagrid.

She wondered if he also knew.

She trudged down the grounds, feeling better than she had in a long time. She felt healthy and alive. She loved this feeling in her chest. She ran her hands through her thick hair and took in a deep breath of the summer air. Summer wouldn't end for another few weeks. The school year did not affect the actual seasons. So with a smile she headed on her way to Hagrid's Hut.

She quickly stepped up the few steps and knocked on his oversized door. She looked around and saw several strange creatures pinned behind the hut and she felt absolutely no desire to go and see what they were.

The door opened up with a creak and after one look at him,her heart sank.She knew that he knew.

His eyes were blood shot and his face was tear stained. He had never been one to control or hide his emotions. His body was trembling and his hair was a mess. He looked down at Hermione and his lips began to tremble and he squinted against the tears.

"Oh Hermione!" he cried and bent down and she was enveloped in his strong arms. She wrapped her arms around his bushy head and held him tight. It was less for her comfort and more for his. He cried and held her tightly, but not too tightly. She could still breathe.

They remained like that for a few moments and then he pulled away.

"Oh I'm sorry, Hermione. I'm being all selfish. How are you?" he asked and ran his nose across his sleeve. Hermione ignored the rather disgusting gesture and smiled.

"Im great Hagrid. Haven't felt this good in a long while," she said with a laugh. Hagrid smiled and looked around.

"It's Hogwarts. It can do wonders," he said with a shrug. "Please, come in," he said and stepped out of the way. She walked inside and looked around. It was the same as always. Fang looked up and made a small yip and she knelt down and stroked him gently. He nuzzled her hand before going back into a peaceful snooze.

"Have a seat," he motioned towards one of the chairs that were much too large for her. She still did and crossed her arms, watching him fumble about, trying to be distracted.

"Hagrid..."

"You know this year I have a whole lot planned out for me class..."

"Hagrid..."

"Its going to be a real thriller this year..."

"Hagrid..."

"Would you like some tea? Of course you would..."

"Hagrid!" Hermione finally called out. He froze, a teapot and mugs in his hands. "Hagrid, will you please look at me?" She asked. He turned slowly and faced her, though his eyes were firmly planted on the floor. "Please Hagrid," she begged of him, her voice on the verge of breaking. The sound of her so upset caused Hagrid to look up.

Tears were spilling over his eyes and onto his cheeks. He set the teapot and mugs down on the table and sniffled.

"It's just not right, Hermione. You don't deserve it...oh look at me. I'm just being inconsiderate. Crying and all... it's not as if you need to be reminded!" he said, inwardly beating himself up. Hermione slid off of the chair and walked towards him slowly. She took his oversized hands in hers and looked up at him sadly.

"Hagrid, its OK to cry. God knows I've done my share," she said. He squeezed his eyes against the tears. He took a shaky breath.

"I promised myself I'd be strong..."

"Hagrid, look at the size of you! I have a feeling you're strong without even trying," she laughed. Hagrid looked down at her with guilt in his eyes, though the small familiar twinkle of laughter.

"How do you do it?" he asked her suddenly. "How do you put up through all of this with a smile on your face?" he asked and sat down. He began to prepare the tea, sniffling and trying to get control of his tears. She sighed and watched him stir it. Her hands were cold and she rubbed them together quickly, the friction warming them. How did she do it? She didnt even know. She could give up. Stop taking medication...and just quit...but she was never a person to give up.

"I have my good days and bad days, just like everybody else. They've been mostly bad lately, so I was due for a good one. That's what today has been like, anyways,"she said. She took the mug of tea gratefully and sipped on it. Hagrid was a lousy cook but he knew how to make the perfect cup of tea.

"If I were in your position they'd all be bad," he said gruffly. "You on any medication?" he asked, seeming awkward. Hermione nodded.

"Yes. If I were on any more I swear it would just make more sense to drug me to unconsciousness," she said. She knew it was a bad attempt at humor, so she just sipped her tea and avoided Hagrid's gaze.

"So how has Head Girl been working for you?" he asked and just stirred his tea, not particularly interested in it's soothing nature. She sighed deeply and thought about it for a moment.

"Its a lot like being a Prefect. I just sort of supervise it all. I haven't really been keeping up with it, though. And I've been a real jerk to Malfoy," she said sadly. Hagrid rolled his eyes.

"Well he deserved it! I swear, with what he's done...he should have been expelled long ago!" he slammed his mug of tea down and Hermione jumped. She sighed, feeling even worse about how she was getting along with the horrid boy.

"I know, but McGonagall hasn't told you about the terms, has she?" Hermione asked Hagrid. He shook his head and his bushy hair shook with it. Hermione took a deep breath and swirled her tea around in its mug. "Well, if Malfoy and I arent civil to one another we're both going to have our privileges taken away. Head Girl, no more," she said sadly. Hagrid glared angrily but stayed quiet. "Malfoy was keeping up his end of the bargain, but he asked me a... sensitive question and I blew up at him."

"You should have," Hagrid said grumpily. Hermione laughed and silently thanked him for being Hagrid.

They were silent and Hermione sipped her tea, it warming her.

"Hermione?" he asked quietly and a bit nervously.

"Yes?" she asked and looked up from her mug of tea.

"Have you told Ron and Harry?" Hagrid asked. Hermione was silent. She set her mug down and stared at her pale hands, her fingers trembling as she rung them together. She shook her head no after a few moments. "They have a right to know."

"I know Hagrid! But do you know how they'd treat me if they found out?" Hermione asked. Hagrid closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't want to be different, Hagrid. I want them to treat me the same as always. I promise I'll tell them eventually, but not yet. Please, dont mention anything to them," Hermione begged of him.

"Hermione, they need to know..."

"They will know, just not yet. I'll tell them," she promised him. Hagrid looked up at her sadly. His bit his lip and scratched at his beard.

"Hermione, you know this isn't right. I'll trust your judgment. Tell them after your appointment at St. Mungo's. Promise me that." Hermione nodded and whispered her promise. She finished off her tea and bid farewell to Hagrid.

Leaving, guilt rushed through her. She didn't know if she'd ever tell Ron or Harry. They meant so much to her. She couldn't stand the thought of them treating her in the way that Hagrid just treated her. It wasn't right. Every time they'd look at her there would be tears in their eyes. Every time they touched her it would be gentle, as if she were a piece of china. Everything they said to her would be guarded, making sure that they didn't contradict her or hurt her feelings in any way possible.

She knew this was true because this was how the Professors, her parents, the doctors, and her Muggle friends had all treated her. By the end of the summer she had no muggle friends. None of them could even stand to be near her.

Harry and Ron treating her in the same manner frightened her more than anything in her life, including her current condition. Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair. She rested her fingers on the welt on the back of her neck. She felt the stitches. She ran her finger along the extent of it.

If it were for magic, she wouldnt have been able to hide from the ugly truth of it. If it weren't for magic people would stare at her every day.

As soon as she got to St. Mungos they would tell her the cold hard truth of it.

She wondered how she would react to it. She wondered what they would do to try to help her. She had been to countless Muggle doctors and none of them were able to help, just give her all of this medication. Hopefully the wizards could do something more.

Hopefully they would fix her.

She knew it was more complicated than that and the thought weighed down her steps as she headed back up to the castle. She was not merely a broken toy that could be fixed with a simple wave of a wand.

She was a toy that was smashed to pieces and the pieces them crumbled to dust and thrown carelessly to the wind.

It was going to take a lot more than just a simple wave of a wand to put her back together.


	6. Chapter VI

_**Memo: **You don't know how many times I tried logging into to update this at school. After 23 tries and my friends "Magic hand" (She could get to pages when she clicked but I couldn't. Strange I know) I eventually just gave up and decided to write a very long letter to about the accessability of thier site. Anyway now I'm at home. Sorry that I don't reply to most reviews. The reviews I mostly get are "Wow your story is great keep writing" and After ALOT of the same messages you don't feel the need to reply. So I'm saying it now. "Thank You for all your reviews! Make sure you check the review page because sometimes I post on it."_

_I love unique reviews AND dying for constructive comments. Thanks to Lindsey &Perpetual- Treason for giving me what I asked for. I tried to listen to your advice and hopefully this story has been checked and re-written to make sure its at the best standard it can be _

_Finally, onto the story!_

Hermione was back in her Common Room, piles of books stretched out in front of her. She knew that this wasn't healthy, but right now she wanted to distract herself, after the things that Hagrid had said to her had completely sunken in she was drowning in a pool of overwhelming guilt. She was suffocating, choking, and gasping for air in the cold dark depths of the emotions that lay deep inside her heart.

She shook her head and put her quill down, trying desperately hard to concentrate on a Potions essay Snape had assigned that afternoon. Taking a deep and shaky breath she closed her eyes.

She remembered Hagrid's tears...

She pushed the thought out of her mind, she had made so many people cry, and hurting someone as open hearted and kind and gentle as the large man who loved the strange and vicious animals with a strange depth was just as painful as burning her hand.

An envelope that Harry had given to her in Potions lay on the coffee table, haunting her thoughts. It was from her parents. She turned away from the letter. She knew genuine concern would be in it; false hope would be slipped in with the words that they had taken such time to scribble down, she did not need to be filled with it as she had been so many times before. She didn't want to read it but still knew that her thoughts would not settle and she would never get the essay done and over with if she did not read the letter.

She reached over and snatched it up,running her fingers along the fine edges of the egg white envelope and recognized her mothers curvy writing along the front, addressed to Hermione at Hogwarts. She smiled, shaking her head. No matter how many times she explained it to them they didn't understand that there was no need to write the addresses down, and the owls knew where they were going if you just told them.

If you've been a muggle as long as them, some habits are just hard to break.

She could already feel the tears beginning to pound at her eyes. She didn't like the thought that she might never see her mother's lovely smile or her father's critical stare ever again. So, with a shaky breath, she slipped a fingernail beneath the sealed fold and tore it open.

She did not like the sound of the tearing paper and she set the envelope down quickly. She didn't have to read it _now_, She could read it _later_. She couldn't take her eyes off of it though. She couldn't help but wonder what lay in the mysteries of the envelope.

She knew it would be nothing she didn't expect, There was still a chance though, and that chance grew into a very likely possibility that there was something fantastic written on the paper. She would never know until she read it.

So she carefully plucked the first page of the letter from the envelope and unfolded it. She took a deep breath and reminded herself to be strong.

_Dear Hermione,_

_How are you? How are you feeling? Are you taking your medication? I'm sorry to bother you with such questions, honey, but it's a mother's duty to be concerned about her daughter's welfare. Are you still going to your appointment at St. Mungo's next weekend? I hope that Hogwarts is treating you all right. Remember, we arranged it with Professor Dumbledore so if you aren't feeling up to attending school this year a tutor can be arranged to home school you. I know you want to feel normal, but I can't stand the thought of you getting worse and me not being able to reach you._

_I know we made an agreement not to discuss your condition, so I'll change the subject. _

_How are your friends doing? Ron and Harry? I remember you couldn't stop talking about them over the summer. Send Harry my condolences over the loss of his godfather, and tell Ron that your father and I have all the faith in the world in his Quidditch skills. What about Ginny? How is she doing? I feel so left out of your life now that you're off in school again. _

_Are there any romantic interests in your life right now? Any cute boys you want to tell me ALL about. I'm just joking, honey. Please don't respond flustered and embarrassed as you usually do when I bring up the topic of boys. I know that you were looking forward to seeing Viktor these past two summers and I'm sorry we didn't permit it. I apologize. Next summer you can spend the entire time with him, that is, if you wish to. _

_Hannah and Jessica told me to say they hope you feel better and are looking forward to your returning. I don't know why you all of a sudden stopped speaking to them. I know you don't want to hurt them. They want to be here for you, dear. Please accept that things are going to be different between you and anyone else who knows. There is no avoiding that. Give them another chance, dear. _

_For me?_

_Well I suppose I should go now. I feel I'm getting too emotional. Your father wishes to say something to you._

_I just want you to know that you are my pride and joy, and I love you with every fibre of my soul. You are a piece of me Hermione, no matter the circumstances. You'll forever be with me, my child. I love you. _

_Signed Mum _

Hermione wiped a tear from her eye and took a deep breath. Could she handle the letter from her father? He had become so cold lately, so numb to everything. He had tried to act as normally as possible and instead just seemed the strangest around her. It was as if he couldn't even stand the sight of her.

So she reached over to the table and drew the second piece of paper from the envelope and hesitantly opened it. Before her eyes began to read what her father said, she wondered if it was best left to be unknown...

_Hermione,_

_I know I haven't said much about your condition. I know that I've been shut off towards it. Truth is, I've been in denial. I suppose I've accepted it now, as you have from the very start._

_I'm writing this to you not to give you false hope or pretend everything is normal. I'm writing this to tell you something I should have told you long ago._

_I love you, Hermione. I haven't been acting like it lately because I just frankly did not have the strength to be strong for the both of us. You are everything that I could have ever hoped for in a child. You are beautiful, strong, intelligent, kind hearted, and a blessing to the world. I'm going to hold onto you tight, my baby girl. You are my princess and I will never let you go. _

_Though this letter is not as long as your mother's don't think it means I love you any less than she._

_Forever Dad _

Hermione couldn't hold back the flood of tears that overcame her,staring at his writing as her vision slowly blurred and drops fell from her eyes. She sniffled and struggled to hold back the sobbing. She had to be strong. She had to be everything that her father thought she was.

Her hands were trembling and with her free hand she rubbed constantly at her tears, trying to dry them.

"Granger?" Malfoy asked as he walked into the Common Room, his eyes cold and hard as he stared at her. "Why are you crying?" he asked. There was not a note of compassion in his voice. There was just blunt curiosity and authority, thinking that anything he demanded to know he would know.

God she hated Draco.

"Leave me alone," she whispered huskily through her tears and folded the letters quickly, stuffing them back into the envelopes.

"Sorry for caring," he said huffily with that snotty air of his. Hermione jumped up, tears bursting from her eyes in a gush and pain that Malfoy had never before seen on someone's face.

"Draco Malfoy, you couldn't care about anything but yourself even if it was your own mother! You are a selfish, rude little prick who thinks he knows everything! Leave me alone!" Hermione sobbed and stood there on trembling feet. The pain was gone from her eyes. She felt faint and her mind was spinning.

Malfoy stared at her open mouthed; regret filling his usually stony cold eyes. Usually he enjoyed pain,lapping it up and laughed at it when he saw it in others. Still, it was so deep-seeded and horrible in Hermione's dark, secretive eyes that he wished he had never opened his mouth.

"Granger..." he mumbled and stared at the floor.

"Malfoy, if you actually cared you would just leave me in peace and let me cry," she whispered before her body began to sway. Malfoy watched, frozen in place for a moment. When he saw her knees give and her pained eyes roll back into her head he rushed forward and caught her before she smacked her head on the coffee table.

He slowly lowered her to the floor and she lay still, unconscious in his arms.

He shook his head and looked around, helpless and afraid, he was not afraid for his own well being though.

He was afraid for Hermione


	7. Chapter VII

_**Memo: **Here you are! The next chapter for you to read. Flames are welcome. _

* * *

When Hermione's eyes opened she realized that she was lying on the couch. A cool cloth was draped over her forehead, she groaned and sat up. A panging in her forehead caused her to lie back down. Her mouth was dry. She saw a cup of water on the table next to her and reached out for it, sipping it gently, it cooled her mouth and throat and made her tongue feel less like sand paper. 

She looked around and continued to rest her head. Her eyes throbbed angrily. She had been having such a good day too until MALFOY got her upset.

"Hello?" she called out hoarsely into the apparently empty Common room. "Is anybody there?" she tried again. She was met by silence. "Malfoy?" she called out. She groaned and brought her hands to her temples, rubbing them firmly. It did not ease the pain, just distracted her.

"Granger?" a voice asked.

"Malfoy!" Hermione called back out. The door to his room opened and he came outside and kneeled by her side. He was shirtless, once again. "Are you ever fully dressed?" she groaned grumpily and swatted his hands away, which were fumbling with the cloth on her head.

"No. You should be thankful. Usually I walk around naked," he said with a sneer. "Although I know it's a site you wish to see, with your current condition it might give you a seizure or something." Hermione glared at him icily.

"I'm perfectly healthy!" she snapped at him. Draco nodded.

"Yes, of course you are. You just pass out for fun," he said sarcastically. "Hold still!" he snapped and snatched the cloth from her forehead. She groaned. She would fight back if she had the strength, but she was just too tired.

He tapped it with his wand and it was instantly cool and moist again. He set it on her forehead and it soothed her throbbing mind. She watched him angrily. This wasn't fair, she knew he was just getting pleasure from taking control like this.

"Why do you care, Malfoy?" she asked, trying to sound cold but couldn't help the teaspoon of warmth. He looked at her.

"As much of a bastard you think I am, I'm only like that to healthy people. I don't exactly get off on hurting people already in pain," he mumbled and pressed the cloth against her head tightly. "I'm trying to get you back to full health as soon as possible so I can continue torturing you... subtly of course. Just to tell you now I'm not going to be the one to lose us our privileges," he said stubbornly. Hermione glared at him but couldn't help but be a little relieved. She was frightened that no one would help her if she became hurt, knowing that Malfoy cared even the SLIGHTEST bit comforted her.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm healthy?" she grumbled. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Of course you are Hermione, and your parents wrote you a letter about medication and hospitals as some sort of joke?" Hermione went pale and shot up, ignoring the throbbing headache and dizziness achieved by doing this.

"YOU READ MY MAIL?" she screamed. Draco furrowed his eyebrows.

"Well EXCUSE ME for trying to figure out if you NEEDED TO GO THE HOSPITAL! Next time you get sick I'LL JUST LEAVE YOU THERE TO ROT!" he shouted and snatched the cloth angrily from her forehead and threw it down on the ground.

"YOU READ MY MAIL!" she screamed again, this time not a question. Draco stomped his foot.

"WE already got PAST that little bit of information GRANGER!" Draco shouted angrily. Hermione was flustered, looking from Draco back to the letters on the table and then Draco again.

"But you read my mail," she said lightly and fell backwards. She remembered the letters, thinking about every word. He knew that she was sick, but he didn't know what was wrong with her, that was a break. He sat back down on the table, a bit flustered, but picked up the cloth and re-cooled it before placing it on her forehead. She closed her eyes.

"Yes, I did read your mail but could you get it through your thick head I did it with the best intentions?" he asked. She nodded, exhausted and weak. "Granger."

"Hmm?" she asked, squinting her eyes that made it through her eyelids.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked and there seemed to be genuine concern in his voice.

"I don't want to tell you," she said stubbornly. He was silent for a moment and she felt him press his hand against the cloth of her forehead, the coolness of the rag sending pleasant tingles into her head.

"Is it serious?" he asked. She was quiet again. She then nodded sadly. He didn't ask any more questions. He just sat there, every few minutes re-cooling the cloth. She lay there, letting him take care of her. It was nice. She hated to admit it but Draco apparently was deeper than a puddle after a light spring shower. She would give him credit for the depth of a puddle after a really heavy rainstorm.

"Thank you," she said calmly.

"So you do have manners," Draco said, raising his eyebrows and a cool sneer playing across his face.

"Oh sod off."

"Ouch, you hurt my feelings Granger!" Hermione groaned and rolled her eyes. She focused on Draco. He was staring at her, his full-moon-on-the-water eyes deep and concerned. They stared at each other, no hate between them; they were not awkward though his hand was firmly pressed against her head.

What was this? This must be some sort of joke. Maybe it was a side effect to the medication. She remembered one of the warnings had said 'sexual side effects'.

They should have been more elaborate and written _'may be a chance of becoming attracted to slithering manipulative ferrets'. _

She closed her eyes and broke her staring contest with Malfoy. Had she just considered herself attracted to Malfoy? If she had a choice she would flush all of her medication down the toilet right now if it made her feel this way.

Somehow she had a sneaking suspicion that the medicine had nothing to do with it.

"Eh Granger, you have an appointment at St. Mungo's next weekend, don't you?" he asked and tried to sound casual. She nodded, still not wanting to look at him, it was the medication combined with the fact that he didn't look too bad shirtless that made her think she was attracted to him. The idea was simply preposterous!

"Yes, why?" she asked rather coldly.

"I was wondering if you'd enjoy some company". Hermione looked at him curiously.

"What? What do you mean?" she asked him.

"Well, I'm not sure if I can get any more straight forward than I just was. Would... you... like... me to... come... with... you... to...St. Mungo's? For such an insufferable know-it-all you sure can be stupid," he snickered.

"I take offence to that," Hermione glared at Malfoy. He shrugged.

"Well it's the worst I can call you without being stripped of my Head Boy title," he sighed. Hermione sighed and shook her head.

"Whatever made you think that I'd want you to come with me?" she spat at him. He instantly withdrew and became cold.

"You're a brat, Granger. Did you know that? I understand you're sick but that doesn't give you an excuse to be such a god awful bitch," Draco snapped sourly. He stood and turned around, stalking out of the Common Room.

Hermione moaned in regret but did not call after him. This was for the best.

She stood and on trembling legs made her way back to her bedroom where once again she lay down to sleep in her clothes, not having the strength to change into something more comfortable.


	8. Chapter VIII

**_Memo: So Sorry! I thought I updated this to the site but I realised I didn't! Silly me. Anyway now you'll get this chapter and chapter IX. SO really it might be a good thing :P_**

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Waking the next morning, Hermione was in a sour mood. The fight with Malfoy she had the night before was still playing vividly in her mind. Why did he have to be so foul? Why did he have to be so stubborn? She just wanted him to keep his distance and say something nice every once in a while. She never wanted him to get into her business.

Then again, it was sort of her fault for his vulgarity the night before. She had been rather mean to him.

She sat up and rubbed her head. She was supposed to go to Quidditch Practice with Harry, Ron, and Ginny today, then she and Ginny were going to come back up to this Common Room and spend some girl time together. Hermione was anxious just to sit down and have a normal conversation with someone.

She quickly showered and cleaned herself up. Her hands were trembling as she tried to open the bottles. She couldn't. She groaned.

Her thumbs were being torn against the rough edges of the caps of the medicine bottles. It just wasn't opening! She groaned and twisted it as hard as she could. Damn childproof seals! Tears filled her eyes; She felt so hopeless. She couldn't even open a bottle of medicine. That left no hope for the other bottles.

She left out an exasperated scream and through the orange transparent bottle at the sink and listened to the pills rattle around noisily as it spun around in the sink. She rubbed her head. She couldn't stop trembling.

She took several deep breaths and tried her best to steady herself, opening her eyes and bitting her lip. This is what it had come to. This is what her condition had turned into.

She looked around sadly. It wasn't a good idea to skip her medication. She rubbed her eyes and squeezed some excess water from her hair.

She supposed there was some good that came out of Malfoy knowing about her sickness.

She swept the bottles off the counter and into a tuck in her robes she had made. She quietly left the bathroom. Much to her convenience, Malfoy lay on the couch shirtless once again, reading the newspaper. This time there was no additional breakfast on the table. She stepped out bashfully.

"Um... erm... Draco?" she asked quietly ignoring the fact she called Malfoy by his first name.

"Hmm?" he asked coldly, not looking up from the Daily Prophet. She could feel it worsening, boiling and agitating inside of her. She really needed her medication, It was acting up and she really did not need that today. Of all days, she didn't need a perfect Saturday to be ruined.

"I need your help," she said meekly. "Could you help me?" her voice was trembling as severely as her hands and he quietly folded the newspaper and looked at her. He looked her up and down coldly.

"What do YOU need help with? Cause I'm just going to stop my ENTIRE day to satisfy EVERY ONE of your NEEDS," he said sarcastically. Tears welled in Hermione's eyes. Malfoy was going to be no help. Her lips trembled and she nodded, turning around.

She did not want to yell at him. She could feel it inside of her, tugging and yanking. It was pulling and ripping, shredding apart the life she had. It squeezed and throbbed like some sort of creature, feeding off of her and laughing at her pain.

Her hands trembled so badly she could barely even hold the fold in her robe tightly.

"Hermione?" Draco asked quietly. Hermione ignored the fact that he called her by her first name. She could barley even concentrate. He stood warily, watching her struggle just to walk back to her bedroom. "What's going on?" he asked, concern seeping into his cool tone. Hermione took a careful step, her legs feeling like weak Jelly-O beneath her.

It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this. She just wished that everything could be normal. She wished that she could just lie down and sleep peacefully. She wished that she had no need for this medication. She wished that she could be as vibrant and filled with life as she had been the year before.

She took another step, sluggish and heavy. Her entire body was shaking so badly she could hear the pills rattling around in their bottles. It sounded as if it were an omen. It was an omen, laughing and sneering in her face. It was telling her to give up all hope. There was no chance for her. She was just going to be this way for the rest of her life. She was going to be in pain, lost, and alone.

A sob escaped her trembling lips and her legs gave way beneath her. This time Malfoy was not there to catch her. She was just too weak to stand. The bottles rolled across the floor, things rattling and shaking as they escaped her reach.

Hermione scrambled for them quickly, sobs escaping her shuddering body, the pain slowly suffocating her. She grabbed one and tried to open it. She couldn't. She let out an exasperated scream and slammed the bottle against the floor repeatedly, trying to break it open. Her desperation made Malfoy, frozen in wonder and fear, rush over to her.

"I hate you! I hate you!" she screamed at the bottle as she rapped it repeatedly against the floor. It would not break.

Draco collapsed purposely on the floor at her side. He wrapped her tightly in his arms. He was astonished at the amount of trembling in her body. He held her so tight that she could barely move. He wasn't trying to comfort her; he was trying to stop whatever was happening to her.

"I can't even open a bottle!" she screamed and the bottle rolled from her sore and torn fingertips. "I... can't... open... a bottle..." she sobbed and clung to his chest, curling into a ball and pressing against him. He held her as tightly as possible, letting her cry against him.

What was wrong with Hermione that had caused this reaction? She was so cold and alone. She wasn't letting anyone share this burden. She took it all upon herself. Was she so selfless that she was willing to take all this pain in darkness so no one else was hurt?

Draco held her even tighter, rocking her in his arms. He closed his eyes against his own tears that were becoming overwhelming. She was like a lost and frightened child, helpless and lost in his arms, seeking any comfort that was willing to be spared.

For a solitary moment he wished that he could just take all of her pain away for a little while and let her breathe freely.

Hermione's shudders and trembling had decreased and her sobs had quieted. She still clung desperately against him and he could feel the streaks of blood left on his bare chest by her torn fingertips from trying to open the bottle. He reached over to the closest bottle and opened it gently, sliding a single pill out. He did not look at the name of the medication. That was her business, and if she wished to bear it alone, he'd oblige.

He gently slipped the pill between her trembling lips and she dry-swallowed. He stroked her hair gently and her trembling became so minute that he could only feel it because she was pressed so tightly against his bare skin.

He slipped his arm under her and lifted her. She clung around his neck, worn out and exhausted though she had just woken. He walked her over to a couch and set her down. She was so light it was almost eerie. Maybe that's why she wore over-sized clothes. To hide all of the weight she had lost.

She curled up tightly on the couch and he quickly fetched the other four bottles of medicine and opened them gently, handing her a single pill from each. She swallowed each one dryly.

In a few minutes she was drying her tears and looking at Malfoy in shame. He sat down next to her. He didn't dare touch her. When she was having that strange attack that was different. Now that she was seemingly better things were awkward and distant between them once again.

They were quiet and Hermione continued to rub at her eyes as if trying to rid the memory of her tears completely.

She looked at Malfoy guiltily.

'Thank you," she whispered. He nodded. He looked at her and furrowed his eyebrows before biting his lip.

"Listen, Granger. I know that you don't want to talk about what's wrong with you and everything, but you need to tell me enough so I'm prepared in case that happens again," he said seriously and carefully. She looked at him with mysterious and deep brown eyes.

"It won't happen again..."

"There's a chance it might," he said, quickly interrupting her. She took a deep breath.

"I'll live my medicine on the counter of my bathroom. The only time something like this might happen is if I forget to take my medication or I delay it too long. Just do what you did this time. Wait until I've calmed and then give me my medication," she said calmly and rubbed at her eyes again. "Thanks again for helping me," she whispered.

"It wouldn't have happened if I had just helped you in the first place," he mumbled, guilt filling his eyes. Hermione shook her head.

"After the way I treated you last night, I deserved it." They were quiet for a moment, and then Draco looked at Hermione weird.

"This doesn't make us friends, does it?"

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Hardly. You just know cause you live with me. I'm off to Quidditch Practice. I promised Ron and Harry I'd meet them there," she said stiffly and then stood, rubbed at her eyes once more, and strutted out of the room.

Draco sat there with small smears of blood on his chest and he watched her leave.

He couldn't help but be a little disappointed at her response.


	9. Chapter IX

_**Memo: Thank you for all the reviews. You're getting better at them (Unique) The more unique it is the greater chance of me replying to it. Billy by the way is a new introduced character which will be seen more of later on and is just not there for now. Made a few errors so I edited it**_

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Hermione reached the Quidditch stadium. It was a beautiful afternoon with few clouds in the bright blue sky and a light breeze that tossed her hair about playfully. She continually tried to get it to stay down but gave up after her fifth try. 

She watched as the team soared through the air. Unfortunately, Ginny was no longer on the team because Harry was no longer suspended. This was a disappointment to her, of course. She loved being part of something like that. Still, looking at Ginny sitting in the stands hovering over something, Hermione couldn't help but notice she didn't seem too happy but she didn't think it was over Quidditch.

"Hello Ginny," Hermione said with a smile as she approached the redheaded girl. Ginny looked up at Hermione, tears spilling over her eyes. Her lips were trembling and a shudder ran through her body. She held up a piece of parchment with messy writing covering it.

"Her... Her... Herm..." she began, but she was filled with sobs. Hermione came to Ginny's side and she wrapped a comforting arm around her, drawing her in tightly.

"Ginny, what's wrong?" Hermione asked quietly. Ginny looked up at Hermione with depressed, tear-glazed eyes and for a moment she was afraid Ginny knew.

"Billy broke up with me," she said quietly and lowered her head in defeat as another sob came over her. Hermione hated the relief that swept over her. She had to comfort her best friend in the time of need. Hermione sighed and rubbed the back of Ginny's neck.

"Oh Ginny. It's going to be alright," she whispered.

"No its not!" Ginny said stubbornly and thrust the letter into Hermione's hands. Hermione unfolded it quickly and her eyes browsed over it quickly, a frown etched into her face as she read it.

_Ginny_

_How's school going for you? Everything is pretty good here, you know. Everyone is real nice at the new school. I don't mind moving here for my brother so he can go to Hogwarts. I've accepted the whole magic thing, you know?_

_There is something that I haven't gotten used to and I don't think I can. I'm not very good at these long distance relationships. I mean I really like you and al but you're away at a sort of boarding school. I wont be able to see you for months, and that will only be briefly. We can't even talk on the phone. I know letters travel fast, but bloody hell Ginny it's hard to keep a relationship through writing. We both know it won't work out. It was a summer fling and it was fun. Maybe we can pick it up again over the summer if things go that way._

_I hope you don't get mad at me for doing this. I mean, if my friends asked me about having a girlfriend what was I supposed to say? Oh she's away at a year-round boarding school where she learns how to be a better witch. We both know that sounds silly. I don't like all the lying. I'm not saying I care about what other people think, but sometimes it just gets too much, you know?_

_I really do like you, Ginny. It's just we both know that things won't work. I'm sorry._

_Your hopefully still friend,_

_Billy_

Hermione set the letter aside and looked at Ginny with pity in her eyes. Tears were falling less steadily. She knew Ginny to be emotional, but also to be strong. She would get over this fast and find someone else to fill up that special place in her heart.

"It'll be okay," Hermione whispered again lightly. Ginny nodded and rubbed the tears from her eyes, seeming to believe her more after reading the letter.

"It's just, he seemed so willing to commit to me over the summer. I kept on reminding him 'I'll be going away all year, you up to it?' He almost seemed thrilled. He couldn't even handle a week!" Ginny shook her head and sighed. Hermione sighed.

"Maybe something else is wrong. It seems like there's something he's not telling you in the letter. Maybe there's a different reason," she tried to explain quietly. "Look how he tried so hard to say it nicely, but then was just a jerk in the end with a complete out there explanation. That shows a sign that he wanted an excuse to get out," Hermione sighed. Ginny shook her head.

"No. I know Billy. He's just like you. Straight forward and honest about everything," she said with a sniffle. This further made Hermione think that Billy had some sort of hidden reasoning for ending the relationship with Ginny. Hermione didn't say anything more though in fear of raising suspicion towards herself.

"What are you ladies all sniffling about?" Ron asked as he approached them. His cheeks were chapped from the wind and his hair was tossed about in a permanent standing up stance. Hermione giggled inwardly. And she thought she had been having a bad hair day.

"Men. They're so stupid," Ginny grumbled.

"Complete idiots," Hermione piped in.

"Pigs."

"Slobbering cows!"

"Worms from the bowels of syphilitic weasels!"

Hermione stared at Ginny for a moment. That was definitely an insult she liked and had never heard before.

"Can weasels get syphilis?" Ron pondered. Then revelation came across his face. "Hey! I'm a man!" Ginny rolled her eyes.

(Note: It's a STI and if you don't know what that is; ask you PD/PE teacher )

"Well, I always thought you'd look adorable in a skirt!" Ginny laughed. Ron's ears turned bright red.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked, his hair in the same state as Ron's. Hermione started laughing out loud at everything.

"Ron's manliness," she said. "Apparently it has come into question," she said with a wink at Harry. Harry took a sideways step from Ron.

"Eh, if you want to be all girly and play dress up that's your choice. If I find you fondling me in my sleep don't think I'll have mercy cause you THINK you're a girl," Harry said with a laugh.

Ron began to bat his eyelids and he made his voice go as high pitch as he could manage.

"Oh, but Harry, I always thought you were SO adorable... give Ronnie a kiss!" he said and threw his arms out as if to embrace Harry. Harry jumped backwards and held up his broom as if it were a weapon.

"Ewww! Ron, I'm warning you!" he said with a laugh. Ron swung his hips overdramatically from side to side and puckered his lips, pretending to be seductive.

"Oh Harry, don't deny it! You know you can't resist me!" Ron said and then ran at Harry, diving and tackling him. Harry had of course tossed aside his broom as Ron gently but still firmly ran his shoulder into Harry and tackling him to the ground.

Hermione and Ginny couldn't stop laughing as the two boys rolled around on the dirt, wrestling like a couple of maniacs.

Hermione cheered them on in turn. Soon they would run out of energy. Some of the other players on the team laughed and joined in the cheering, but were anxious to shower and relax so they left the boys to their game.

They pulled apart with no winner, both boys dirtier and sweatier than they had been in the beginning, and their hair was a hilarious sight. Harry's glasses were perched on his nose crooked and Ron was missing a shoe. Hermione was breathless from laughing so hard and Ginny's tears were long ago forgotten.

"God, it's so hot out!" Harry complained.

"Oh no Harry, I think it's just you," Ginny said with a playful wink. They all knew that she had no feelings towards the green-eyed boy, but her long-forgotten crush was an ongoing joke between the group.

Harry nodded with such a serious face Hermione let out a snort when she tried to repress her laughter.

"Oh, I know," he said seriously. "You know no girl can resist my sexy body," Harry laughed.

"What sexy body? I don't see ANY sexy bodies around here," Ginny challenged. Harry looked at Ron with a fiendish smile and then began to de-robe.

"Harry!" Hermione gasped. "Put your clothes back on!" she insisted covering her eyes quickly.

"Oh come on, Hermione. Where's your sense of adventure? It's not like I'm going to run around stark naked... unless you want me to..." he said with a wink.

"NO!" all three of them shouted in unison, causing Harry to laugh. The black-haired boy was down to his boxers. His shoulders were strong and wide, his chest seemingly chiselled out of stone. Hermione glanced at Ginny and noticed that her eyes were wide with surprise at what lay beneath the red and gold practice robes.

"Join me Ron?"

Immediately, Ron began to yank off his robes. Hermione watched him closely, too closely in Ginny's opinion. He was a good five inches taller than Harry and was broader in the shoulders. You wouldn't notice it because it just brought balance to his figure.

He didn't have as many featured muscles as Harry but the soft indentations of firm muscle were visible from where they sat. He yanked his pants off, revealing a pair of red boxers with gold polka dots. Harry wore just a plain pair of grey ones.

"Wow, looks like my brother has more school spirit than you Harry," Ginny said with a laugh. Harry was staring at Ron's boxers.

"Polka dots?" Harry asked. Ron shrugged with a laugh.

"I thought they complimented my hair," Ron said and ran a hand through his hair. Hermione let out a laugh as she watched him struggle to do so from all the knots both the wind and the wrestling match had caused.

"Were you planning on stripping for someone?" Harry laughed. Ron's ears turned a dark red once again.

"NO! I just... you know... um..." he murmured and the three others laughed at him. "Ah sod off," Ron remarked with good humour. Hermione smiled and laughed. Ginny looked over at her and smiled quietly. She hadn't said anything, but she had noticed how sickly Hermione had looked lately. She was pale, underweight, and concern, fear, and desperation were always rooted deep in her mysterious chocolate brown eyes.

So as Ron and Harry linked arms and sang 'Weasley is our King' and skipped in circles wearing nothing but boxers on this warm September afternoon, Ginny couldn't help but notice Hermione's rosy cheeks and warmed face with light and sparkling eyes.

Ginny joined in the laughter, happy that her friend was better. She had been getting worried about Hermione's health.

She was obviously telling the truth. Hermione IS perfectly healthy.

Isn't she?


	10. Chapter X

_**Memo: **Hey, Sorry for the delay. I usually only update at school so if I don't update I usually have a hectic week. Such as my English Monologue which I had a mental blank during the performance.My mark was stillalright 18/20... And then myMaths exam, IST exam Which I passed erm... I think thats most of it. I have an on-goingIST assignment so sorry If I get carried away and forget to update. IST, English&Geography are my main subjects NOW that I'm done with my rant go ahead and read._

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Hermione walked into the Head Boy/Girl Common Room, laughing, her eyes twinkling. 

"You look better, Granger," Malfoy said coolly. He lay on the couch with a book propped on his knees. As usual, he was shirtless. Hermione froze when she saw him, the laughter slowly draining.

"You're still here?" she asked. He sneered at her.

"Don't sound so happy!" he snapped, angry at the tone of voice she used. She had no right to disrespect him after what he did for her. She shook her head.

"It's not how it sounds," she said quietly and opened her mouth to explain, but three bodies burst into the room. Malfoy was of course incredibly angry at the sight of Potty, Weasel, and the Weaselette, Granger had just been trying to warn him that these three were on their way into the Common Room. He had to give her a bit of credit for doing so.

"Nice place you got here... oh." Harry said when his eyes found Draco lying half naked on the couch. Draco raised his eyebrows and sneered.

"I was just leaving," he hissed and stood, walking towards his bedroom door. Ron was stand awkwardly as red slowly filled his face, Ginny, however, was giving Malfoy an appreciative look. Only slight revulsion was in her eyes, the rest of the look was admiring Draco.

"Nice view," Ginny giggled and Hermione saw a small smile appear on Malfoy's face as he disappeared into the room. Hermione blushed darkly. A strange feeling began worming around in her stomach? Jealousy? No, of course not, never!

"Get dressed!" Hermione hissed and motioned at their clothes. The boys had come up to the room still dressed in boxers.

"Relax, Hermione. Its just Malfoy! Remember how little he was wearing?" Ginny asked.

Hermione blushed.

"That's different. He's always like that..."

"You're telling me the ferret walks around half naked?" Ron asked through clenched teeth and pointed at the closed door.

Hermione brushed it off.

"This is different! He lives here! I don't exactly want it going around that I had too nearly naked boys in my room on the third day of school!" Hermione hissed. Ron and Harry rolled their eyes and began to get dressed, but Malfoy reappeared before they could even turn their robes right side out. He was fully dressed and a proper and perfect expression was playing across his pale face.

He shoved by the boys, but paused as he passed Ron. He looked down and then back up again, almost as if he were checking the boy out though no looks of interest or care were in his eyes.

"Nice boxers," Draco said simply and left. Hermione sighed a breath of relief. Having Malfoy out of the room was like lifting a dead weight off her shoulders. Hermione waved her arms around.

"Well, ahem, this is my Common Room. Go anywhere you like, just not HIS room," Hermione made her point clear.

"Even your underwear drawer?" Ron asked with a wink. Hermione couldn't help but laugh.

"See, I told you. Pigs."

"Slobbering Cows," Hermione agreed and laughed. Ron and Harry joined in the laughter. The two boys quickly made themselves comfortable on the couch. Hermione looked at Ginny and the two had a silent moment where they knew exactly what they other were thinking.

'Boys' 

"Hermione, where's your bathroom?" Ginny asked quickly after the moment was over.

"What, you going to throw up after seeing Malfoy half naked? Cause I know that's what I want to do," Harry commented from his seat. He and Ron then began to pluck candy from a bowl on the table and toss them in the air, trying to catch them in their mouths.

Ginny gave them an appreciative laugh at the comment, Hermione smiled and the moment went between them again.

"It's the second door to your right," Hermione said, pointing. Ginny looked and nodded, leaving Hermione alone with the boys.

Hermione walked over to them and sat in between them, because that was where there was the most room. They were quiet for a moment, staring at Hermione. She laughed when she realized she was sitting in between two VERY handsome and almost naked boys.

"This is awkward, don't you think?" Hermione asked. Harry and Ron had that fiendish look in their eye again. Hermione didn't trust that look at all. "Umm... guys?" she asked. They were inching closer to her. "Guys..." she said more sternly this time.

"Hermione sandwich!" They cried at the same time. Ron leapt on top of her just as she had turned her back to him, trying to escape. Harry pulled her forward. She was squashed under Ron's weight as his body pushed against her back whilst she was pressed down on Harry. She pulled up a little, so close that she could smell the sweet scent of his breath that was definitely the only thing sweet about them.

"You smell horrible!" Hermione gagged. She buried her face in the curve of Harry's neck as she tried to block out the stench. He was breathing into her ear, trying to hold back laughter.

"That tickles!" he finally laughed. Ron sat up, straddling Hermione's waist.

"Ha! I am the king!" he shouted and raised his arms in triumph.

"Ugh! Ron, put your arms down!" Hermione laughed. Ron blushed and immediately put his arms down and then burst into laughter. "Don't you know what hygiene is?" Hermione exclaimed and then the boys began to tickle her and she was wriggling and laughing, begging them to stop though the smile couldn't be wiped from her face.

**_(Ginny)_**

She walked into the bathroom and checked her makeup. Minimum smudging from crying, she noticed. She still used a tissue and dabbed at it a bit. She smiled in the mirror. Didn't look too bad.

Poor Hermione. She had to live with that prat Malfoy. At least he wasn't exactly the ugliest boy in all of school, Ginny smiled to herself.

She smoothed down her hair a bit. Her eyes flickered to something at the corner. Five orange bottles half-filled with pills stood there. They were almost haunting. Ginny could just barely make out the name on the white prescription paper.

Granger, Hermione

Ginny shivered. Since when did Hermione take medication? She reached for the bottle but recoiled. It was none of her business whether Hermione took medication or not. It was probably just allergies or something.

Still, seeing the bottles, she couldn't help but look at what they were.

She held the first one in her hand and rotated it slowly, listening to the pills rattle around. The sound was eerie, almost a sound you expected a ghoul to make. Ginny looked closely. It was a name she couldn't even pronounce. Then again, she had heard it before. It was familiar to her. For what?

She pondered this and rolled the bottle around in her hands. She remembered it being advertised on television. She licked her dry lips.

It came to her all of a sudden.

This was a type of pill that helped you manage your weight. Ginny remembered how much weight Hermione had lost. She nodded. That did make sense for her to take. That still didn't explain the four other bottles.

She picked up the next bottle and read the name. She recognized it immediately. It was used to calm hysterics. It mellowed people out. Why would Hermione need something like that?

She set the bottle down carefully and picked up the next one, a chill going up her spine as the pills shook and clacked into each other.

She also recognized this one immediately. It was an anti-depressant, and a strong one at that. Didn't this and the other medication just cancel each other out? No, she figured, because certain forms of hysteria are signs of depression. Ginny supposed it made some sort of sense.

There were still two more bottles.

The next name she didn't even recognize. It was completely strange to her. What it was for, it's origins, and all of it was a mystery. She set it back down and then reached for the last one. Would this one explain Hermione's illness? She didn't know, but she supposed she had to try to figure it out.

She picked it carefully and was hesitant to read the label. She took a shaky breath and focused her eyes. She was disappointed when she didn't recognize this name either. It sounded heavy duty though.

She set the bottles down and feigned a smile. She walked quickly from the bathroom and saw Hermione trying to get out of a pinned position between Ron and Harry. She just seemed so happy. So at ease... was that because of the medication or because she really was happy?

"I can't leave you boys alone for one minute!" Ginny laughed.

"Ginny! Help! They SMELL!" Hermione laughed from between them. Ron jumped up and lifted Hermione up, placing her over his shoulder as if she weighed barely anything. Then again, but the look of her, that did seem about right.

Harry stood and began to creep towards Ginny, smiling.

"Harry... no.. No Harry... bad Harry... sit!" Ginny tried but Harry bent over and scooped her up. She was over his shoulder. The boys stood back to back so Hermione and Ginny could see each other.

"Resistance is futile," Hermione laughed and Ginny silently agreed. Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. "Ginny, are you alright?" she asked quietly. Ginny nodded, not trusting her own voice.

"I'm hungry," Ron grumbled. 'God, for such a nice Common Room you have no food, Hermione!" Ron laughed. He set her down gently and she looked at him with a smile. "Harry and I are going to go get some food. Want to come?"

"I'm up for it!" Ginny said as Harry set her down lightly.

"I guess I am too cause Ron said I was before I said I was," Harry said with a shrug. "Hermione, you coming?"

"No, I'm sort of tired. Ill see you all later, alright?" she said. They nodded and quickly pulled on their robes just as Hermione caught them off guard and covered them with cologne. "I don't think Draco will mind," she laughed and waved the cologne bottle in the air.

"Eww! Now I smell like that stupid git" Ron exclaimed as they smiled and waved, leaving Hermione alone as they stepped out of the portrait.

Ginny slapped Ron's arm.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Ron snapped and rubbed his arm. Ginny glared at him.

"You exhausted her!" Ginny snapped and began to stalk away.

"Is that a bad thing?" Ron asked.

"Yea Ginny, what's up?" Harry asked as they followed her. She spun around on her heal and glared at them angrily.

"I was right, men are complete idiots. Hermione is incredibly sick! You probably just made her worse!" Ginny hissed. Concern filled their faces. It had never crossed their mind that she was actually ill after the train ride.

"What do you mean by incredibly sick?" Ron asked, his voice cracking. Ginny covered her eyes for a moment, afraid that her emotions and self-control would betray her.

"Hermione is on at least five different prescriptive medication, guys. She's losing weight fast and she barley even looks strong enough to stand!" her voice was watery with tears. Harry ran a hand through his hair and mumbled to himself as Ron shook his head in denial.

"How... how bad is it?" he asked.

"Bad enough so she doesn't want her best friends to know," Ginny said curtly before spinning on her heal and leaving the boys guilt-ridden in the corridor.


	11. Chapter XI

_**Memo: Okay... I was really really really bored so I updated two chapters in a row XD**_

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Hermione lay down on the couch, a small grin playing across her lips. The weekend and half the week had passed flawlessly. She was feeling better than ever and had written quick, sincere and still lie-filled letters to her parents, reassured her best friends that she was feeling better than ever, and she hadn't had a single run-in with Malfoy.

Ever since the incident with the boys in their boxers, he seemed to have disappeared completely.

Sometimes she heard him rustling about and cursing in his bedroom, or showering in his bathroom, but that was the extent of it. He no longer lounged on the couch half naked reading the morning paper as if he really cared what was going on in the world. He read it for cryptic messages hidden in the text. He was constantly searching for articles that had to do with his father, Voldemort, and Death Eaters in general.

He thought he hid this well by pretending to read some strange human interest story about how a woman raised three troublesome witches on her own while withholding the job of a waitress, or some equally unusual piece for someone like Draco to read.

Hermione's eyes had glanced over the pages the couple times she had peered over his shoulder before he disappeared into the depths of his bedroom. On the same page there was an article about the further investigation of suspected Death Eaters, or about how the children of former/current Death Eaters were getting along and/or being treated.

Hermione knew that Malfoy had not been mentioned in the article for the amount of money and power his father held. He could simply erase any reporter who flawed his name further from the face of the world, and no one would say boo to stop him.

So she while she lay there on the couch, resting her eyes, she couldn't help but be alarmed at the sound of heavy breathing.

She opened her eyes and saw Malfoy hovering over her, his eyes bearing into hers with an intensity that could have fried an egg.

With a cry Hermione shot up. When she shot up, she accidentally rammed her head into Malfoy. His nose, to be specific, and he bled quite profusely.

"OW!" Oh my, he let out a string of curse words that made Hermione's eyes widen. Here she had been thinking mudblood was bad!

"Oh Malfoy I'm so sorry!" she said and reached out towards him. Blood dribbled down his chin and he tried to pinch his nose but just winced.

"Look what you've done, Granger! You stupid mudblood!" he hissed, though sounding rather funny with his nose clogged and/or plugged but his red fingertips. Anger filled Hermione.

"Just stay still! I'm trying to help you!" she said and reached out for him again. He swatted her hands away.

"You've done enough already!" he snarled at her. He began fumbling around. Wheres my bloody wand? He mumbled to himself. Hermione rolled her eyes and reached into her robe.

"Malfoy, here, let me..."

"NO!"

"It's a simple illusion charm! I don't want to take the chance of messing anything up, seeing as you're being so stubborn!" Hermione snapped. Malfoy swatted her away with his free hand. "Stop being such a prat! Stand still before I shove this wand up your nose! I don't think it can handle much more, either!" she hissed at him, ignoring the lump forming on her forehead.

He groaned and pulled his hands away.

"May I?" she gestured and he shrugged. She touched it delicately and he winced, tears brimming his full-moon-on-the-water eyes. She sighed. "Well, luckily it's not broken. Very close, though. It's going to be very painful," she sighed. She reached up and muttered a charm. Malfoy's nose shrank immediately and took on its previously perfect state, but blood still covered his face. "Now come with me," she said and sat him down on the couch.

"What are you going to do?" Malfoy asked nervously, his voice still a little plugged up.

Hermione hadn't healed him, after all. She had simply made him appear to be in perfect state.

She rushed to the bathroom and her eyes skimmed over the bottles before she snatched one. She then took a roll of toilet paper, filled up a small pail of water, and came back into the Common Room, where Malfoy still sat.

Hermione took a seat next to him and then quickly undid the lid to the bottle.

"What is that?" he asked again, forgetting his first unanswered question. She pulled out a single pill.

"Here, swallow this. Do you need water?" she asked him. He shook his head and held the pill in his fingertips.

"What is that?" he asked again. Hermione sighed.

"It will numb and relieve what you feel now," she answered him quietly and started to roll up some tissue. He stared at it strangely.

"Are you talking about a pain killer?" he asked in surprise, his voice sounding very humorous because he sounded so strange and still tried to be serious. He had such a funny look on her face.

"Yes, now take it already!" she warned him, her hand wrapped in toilet paper. He popped it into his mouth and swallowed, eyeing her suspiciously. Why did Hermione need painkillers?

"Don't you need them though?" he asked. She shrugged.

"I can go without one, tomorrow. It's my fault you're in pain right now, anyway," she said simply. She lightly dipped the paper in the water and began to wash his face off gently. "Now just hold still," she said quietly and began to nibble on her lip as she concentrated on avoiding his hurt nose. He felt strange letting her clean him up like this, but he really didn't mind being taken care of.

Still, he couldn't bear the awkward silence.

"You're right, it was your fault," he said simply. Hermione shot him a death glare.

"You're supposed to assure me that it was your fault, which it was," she said and then continued to wipe off his chin. She had to admit it was firm and strong. She imagined just for a moment what it would have been like to kiss the soft curve of it. She shuddered when she realized she was fantasizing about making MALFOY shudder with pleasure.

"But it wasn't my fault. Even you said so," Malfoy pointed out. Hermione had cleaned up his face, but unfortunately (though it wasn't broken) she had damaged the nose very badly and it had dribbled down his neck and spotted his bare chest.

"If you weren't hovering over me like that I never would have jumped in surprise," Hermione said in annoyance. Malfoy craned his neck gently to the side and let her gently rub away the blood. Why did he just have to look so attractive in that position. His head was craned back so lightly. She could almost see the pulse in his throat, throbbing wildly. She wanted to press her lips against it, let her tongue explore the throb of his heart in his throat...

"And you called me a mudblood!" Hermione spat as she tried to force the thought aside viciously. The medication did such horrible things to her. 'Sexual side affects' was an understatement. She furrowed her eyebrows and bit her lip as she tried to think of all the horrible things Malfoy had said to her in the past.

She also tried to ignore the fact that, though she had the best intentions at heart when she gave him the painkiller, it was that in which caused the sexual side affects. Actually, almost all of them caused sexual side affects according to the warning. Three out of the five, at least! So now she was hyped up on medical induced hormones with a boy whose testosterone was naturally on an unusual high with a little help of happy in what she had given him illegally at that! She had just distributed a drug!

Oh the thoughts made her grimace.

"Well if you hadn't fallen asleep on my shirt, I wouldn't have hovered over you while trying to wake you up!" Draco snapped back and yanked his shirt from underneath Hermione and pulled it up. This gesture caused Hermione to fall forward, her hands catching her balance on his chest. She could feel his hot breath on her forehead.

She leaned back instantly, red with embarrassment. Malfoy just grinned at her, a new agenda in his sparkling eyes.

Hermione could see it and could recognize it. Why had she given him the painkiller?

She had to act as if everything was normal and nothing fazed her, but as a matter of fact she wanted nothing more than to kiss Malfoy until his full-moon-on-the-water eyes turned a burning red with a desire that Hermione would more than happily fulfil.

"Fine, it was both our faults," she murmured. She changed the toilet paper again and dabbed it in the water. There were several spots on his chest where the blood had dripped. They had dried so she was going to have to pick at it a little. She was afraid to touch him, but knew that he would get suspicious or make some sort of comment if she didn't.

She rubbed at his chest, amazed at how it felt as if it were carved of stone. His eyes were locked on her, a coy little smile on his pale face. She refused to look him in the eye. She could feel her face growing warmer and redder. She cleared her throat and continued to rub the blood off his chest.

Why had she felt so responsible as to clean Draco up in the first place? Maybe it was because he was so immature he reminded her of a little boy she babysat that had gotten covered in fudge. She had done just this, only she had thought of it merely as cleaning him up.

Hermione's imagination was going wild with things she wanted to do with Malfoy. This caused her expression to harden and she focused more on getting the dry specks of blood off.

Draco reached up and played with a bang that had fallen into Hermione's eye. No matter how much she enjoyed the feeling, she swatted the hand away. It just returned and began to play with her hair again, this time more sensuously.

"You're pretty when you concentrate... or are you angry? Either way it's very... attracting, he whispered quietly and leaned in closer. Hermione leaned back, her breathing heavy and shallow at the same time.

"Draco... it's the painkiller... sometimes it has weird effects... but you have to fight it, she said in a half whisper. The medication was soaring through her blood ever more than his. What was the difference? Why could she slightly manage to control her urges and here Malfoy was, practically on top of her?

"I don't want to fight it," he mumbled, his eyes entrancing. He pressed his forehead against hers and continued to lean in, causing her to lean back farther. She had been sitting cross-legged and facing him when it started, and she now cursed herself for her choice of sitting.

"It feels good," he added and nuzzled Hermione's cheek. The feeling made Hermione's eyelids flutter. Senses came to her.

"Draco... we can't do this. We'll just regret it tomorrow..."

"That's tomorrow, this is today," he mumbled. Sadly, Hermione understood his sense so perfectly right then that as he stole a kiss from her gently, she let him take it. His lips were so soft at first. It was as if she were barely kissing a flower.

"Malfoy..." she whispered against him and somehow that set him off. He leaned into the kiss with such dominance and strength that she had no choice but to give in against him. He lay on top of her, the firmness of his body against her making her insides scream that this was right; this was the way it was supposed to be.

The lust and attraction she felt for him was rooted deeper than anything medication could do, though she refused to admit it.

She was trapped beneath him, but she didn't mind the feeling. She felt so safe between underneath his body and in the grasp of his strong arms. He kissed her so softly and yet so passionately Hermione wanted to cry. She felt everything she had desired to feel for so long. She had cut herself off physically and emotionally from everyone, and she could practically feel Malfoy's mind reaching out to her just as his body was. He was yearning for something deeper than physical pleasure. She knew it, because she felt the same.

Was she imagining this? Of course it was the medication's entire fault that she let him deepen the kiss.

'Stupid Medication' 

It was the medication that made him do it in the first place! She took a fistful of his hair and kissed him with everything she had, making sure he knew that she wasn't one to be taken lightly.

"Granger," he whispered roughly against her lips and slipped his arms around her waist and placed his hands at the small of his back. Hermione was a seventeen year old girl who had barely even kissed a boy. The hormones stored inside of her, the incredible skill of the boy who dominated their actions at this point of time, her desperation for love and the medication making all of this set a fire deep within her that she thought would never burn out.

One of his hands travelled up her back, causing delightful shivers to spread up her spine. It reached the base of her neck and massaged it gently. How was it possible that someone could be so good at something? Did Malfoy really have so much experience that his touch made her burn with such a fire she was melting even herself?

His fingers brushed across something along the scalp of her neck. Something thick and swollen with thread running in and out.

Whatever high Hermione had been on, that simple touch brought her crashing down to reality. Back to Hogwarts, Back to hell.

She shoved him off of her and scrambled backwards as far as she could. He was left there, breathless. His eyes looked at her with everything she had felt just moments before.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Hermione could see the place where she had so firmly taken hold of his hair. Shame rooted so deeply in her heart. She was filled with a pain and loneliness that made her feel as if the few moments of pleasure she had just experienced was not worth it.

"It's not real," she whispered and turn, fleeing from Malfoy's confused stare. He glowered and stared at his hands, his nose still throbbing painfully.

The painkiller hadn't kicked in yet.


	12. Chapter XII

**_Memo: Hi, Sorry for the Delay again. I've nearly completed most of assignments. I would finish 1 completely tonight but I have to wooork '( So Sad._**

Hermione was leaving her last class of the day. Thoughts of what she had done with Malfoy earlier that morning were still haunting and pleasing her. It was a strange feeling. Thinking about Malfoy and his kiss was like watching a horror movie. It was like sitting at the top of a roller coaster ride, the first drop, and the quiet clacking of the wheels preparing you for the thrilling ride ahead.

Or had she already been on the ride and was now just having the coaster-leg that follows almost everything, would she become steady again?

She knew the answer was no. When Malfoy had kissed her like that, held her like that, said her name like that...

"He said my last name," she mumbled.

"Pardon, Miss Granger?" a familiar voice asked. Hermione's eyes flickered up, Sir Bentley had raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her. She smiled. For a portrait he was such a charming man. He acted as a father: A dad away from home. She wasn't sure if that was what she needed.

She needed Malfoy...

What she needed _besides_ that boy.

"Oh, it was nothing," she said and waved her hand about. Sir Bentley had a smug smile on his face.

"If you say so. Now say the password and hurry on in. I'm late for tea with Lady Matilda..." Hermione couldn't help but smile when a small blush touched the man's face, "and I'll be gone until suppertime. I've already warned young Mr. Malfoy of the same. He's inside right now, as a matter of fact," Sir Bentley said. "It had to do with him, didn't it?" he asked.

"What?"

"Whatever is troubling you so? As soon as I said your name you... you changed," he said and cocked his head. "Maybe I'm imagining things." She laughed and shook her head.

"Charlatan," she said through her giggles.

"I say, I am not!" he replied, looking almost hurt. This caused Hermione to giggle even harder. "Oh right... it's the password," he said and blushed even more. "I do say I feel like a nitwit. I'll just be quiet now and let you be on your way. See you this evening, Miss Granger," he said and swung upon with a very light squeak.

"Bye, Sir Bentley!" she called up to him. She didn't mind the distraction he had proven to be. Not thinking about Malfoy for a few moments had been a needed break from inner turmoil. She liked not having to think about Malfoy's exciting touch, soft lips, and arousing skills...

She cursed herself as she stepped into the Common Room. She really had to get a handle on her thoughts.

Sure enough Malfoy lay there on the couch, shirtless as usual. Except this time, he was also missing pants; he wore nothing but a pair of silver boxers.

Hermione's heart went wild at the sight of him. She was afraid to move. She did not want to draw attention to herself, because she knew she wouldn't be able to resist him if he made a move for her.

That's what she found so charming about him.

Shaking her head she took a step. The floor creaked beneath her foot and she froze. Draco did not move from his relaxed place on the couch. He simple lay there, still as a rock.

After a few moments she took anther step, this time as quiet as Crookshanks. She crept to her bedroom as quietly as she could, biting her lip. She hoped not to disturb Malfoy. After what happened... she was not prepared to deal with the consequences.

She went into her room and put her things away as quietly as possible. She was going to go off about the castle for the rest of the evening. Maybe spend time with Harry, Ron, and Ginny. She'd probably go to the library and check out that new book Professor McGonagall recommended.

She looked in the mirror, nodded approvingly at her appearance, and headed out the door.

She froze when she saw that Malfoy was no longer napping on the couch. Had he heard her? She didn't move. She listened to see if anything else moved. She heard nothing. She was surrounded by silence. She could hear her heart beating wildly and her breath shaky in her chest.

She rushed for the door. She could make it. She was so close...

Suddenly she felt a pair of strong hands grab her shoulders and pull her backwards, letting out a small yip as she was pulled around and pushed forcefully against the wall. She only caught a glimpse of Malfoy's eyes before she felt a pair of lips mesh against her own.

Hermione trembled and melted into his arms. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and kissed him with everything she had. She was squeezed between him and the wall. She was afraid of this. She knew she wouldn't be able to control herself if Malfoy kissed her again.

God he was just so _good._

"What did you do to me?" he asked gruffly as he kissed her. She opened her eyes and saw him staring at her. She pushed his lips away and caught her breath. He was still pressed firmly against her and she made no move to push him back.

"That's why I stopped this... why it shouldn't happen! The painkiller I gave you, it has _'sexual side effects'_," she said, her face turning red. She looked at him, his lips so kissable. He was so close, so in reach... she shook her head. "You actually think I'd let you kiss me on my own account?" he glared at him and dove in, kissing her again. She couldn't help but let a soft moan escape her lips. It was inhuman for someone to make her feel this way.

He pulled away this time, his lips so close to hers. He was teasing her, leading her on. She was so ashamed that she liked it.

Her breathing was heavy against his lips.

"Granger, you've wanted me before the medication," he told her and kissed her again, not letting her object. Her eyelids fluttered. It wasn't right. It just wasn't right!

p

"No..." she whispered against him but just kissed him more. His hands held her so tightly; she was pinned to the wall. She had no escape. If she did, would she want to escape?

"Yes... you can't resist me," he told her again. Hermione tightened her lips causing Malfoy to withdraw slightly. It didn't stop him from kissing her though.

He was right. She couldn't resist him. Then again, she always loved challenges. Just because she couldn't didn't mean she wouldn't.

She shoved his entire body backwards, freeing her. Both of them just stood there, out of breath, hormones raging. They clenched their fists, staring each other down. They tried to hold themselves back. They had to. There was no way they'd EVER touch each other again.

"Malfoy, I think you're a foul disgusting slithering ferret! You think that you rule the world and you're horrible to others just so you can feel better about yourself!" she spat at him. Anger filled his eyes.

"Oh yeah? You're a filthy little mudblood. The thought of you kissing me makes me want to gag. You're an insufferable know-it-all who distracts herself from the knowledge that she's worth it by studying and reading until your brains leak out your ears!" Hermione turned red and took a step closer, her eyes flaming.

"Your father is a Death Eater. People hate you. You think its respect but it's just because they're frightened of **_your father_**. You can't even defend yourself! You have to bring around cronies like Crabbe and Goyle just to protect you when Daddy's not around!"

Malfoy took a step closer, anger seeping from every pore in his body.

"You are the most god awful wench! You're desperate for attention so you string along any boy who **_thinks_** he can have you and then just shove them away! You do the same thing in class by always knowing the answer! You're desperate and you'll never be loved!" Malfoy screamed at her.

Hermione took a step closer, her eyes almost red with anger.

"I'm desperate for attention? I string along people? You must be in denial!" Hermione laughed. Malfoy sneered.

"God, I hate you!" he screamed in her face.

"I hate you too!" Hermione screamed. They were silent for a moment.

Then Malfoy dove in and kissed her again, pushing her up against the back wall. She kissed him with everything she had, loving every second of it.


	13. Chapter XIII

**Memo: _Hi again everyone, Sorry for the long delay. Thats what you get for telling me to update making lame excuses for me to update faster XD. Anyway I've been busy at school and don't say I have the weekends to update. Because I don't. I work both days so :P. A bit immature today... Enjoy chapter XIII. _**

**_PS. I love Constructive Reviews but Hate people telling me to update. Try and stay on my good side. Don't say sorry for telling me to update - It only annoys me more_**

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Hermione sat in her bedroom, wringing her hands. She was trapped inside the dormitory with Draco. She and Draco had been… they had been… conversing for so long that Sir Bentley must have run off to tea before letting her out. She sighed, growling at her misfortune.  
She could hear Malfoy cursing and throwing things around in his bedroom. The wall was thick, so he must have been making quite a racket. She sighed, the memory dancing across her mind distractingly.

_'God he's such a good kisser,' Hermione thought as her lips played with Malfoy's. What had happened to their argument? She didn't care anymore. This was just too good. He was just too irresistible.  
She whispered something against his lips though she didn't hear it. It made him responds, pulling her ever tighter against him. She felt like melting against his arms. She wished she had superglue smeared over her lips so they would be forever stuck like this.  
She giggled at such a silly thought. _

"Are you laughing at me, Granger?" Malfoy pulled back and hissed before commencing to kiss her neck and collarbone erotically. She hummed and ran her hands through his hair, breathing heavily against him.

"Because it feels good," Hermione mumbled. He hissed laughter against her skin and Hermione leaned down and began to kiss him again. Stupid medicine. Stupid sexual side effects. Stupid Malfoy. Stupid Sir Bentley. Stupid Professors.  
She realized that all of her chap stick that she had applied earlier was not on her lips anymore. It was on Draco; it was on his lips, his skin. A smile hooked her lip at the thought.  
He reached up and ran his hand through her hair, genuine surprise coming across his face when he felt how silky it was.

"Just because it sticks out doesn't mean it's snarled," she said to him as she furrowed her eyebrows. He snickered and grabbed handfuls of her hair, causing her to give him complete control. She loved the feeling. Malfoy being in authority as he kissed her… she wrapped her arms tightly around him and kissed him deeper.  
Then he began to unbutton her robes. She furrowed her eyebrows and smacked his hands away and then continued to kiss him deeply.  
He tried once again moments later. She recoiled, pulling back and glaring at him.

"What are you doing?" she asked. He kissed her chin, the fine bone of her jaw, and her neck. He was still pressed tightly against her. Why did he have to feel so good? Why couldn't he have been really bad at kissing? She could barely mask her pleasure.

"You did this to me, Granger. Now you have to deal with the consequences," he mumbled against her skin and cut off her objection by kissing her deeply again, unbuttoning her robes and slipped his hands beneath her shirt and on the soft skin of her stomach.

She shoved him backwards violently.

"Stop it, Malfoy!" she snapped at him. "I let you kiss me, I didn't say that we could…" she went a deep crimson colour. Malfoy slapped his knee and began to laugh.

"Oh please, as if I'd want to do that with YOU!" he couldn't stop laughing, causing Hermione to blush even darker and fumble with her robes, buttoning them back up quickly.

"Then what was all that with the consequences?" she snapped at him, smoothing down her ruffled hair. He shrugged the cocky and smug appearance back in his posture and appearance.

"You asked me what I was doing. What was I supposed to say?" he asked. Hermione glared at him.

"You're despicable!" she snapped at him.

"You're a really bad kisser!" he snapped back.

"The thought of you just touching me makes me sick!" she snarled at him.

"I think I AM sick after that!" he said, fanning him.

"You cocky son of a…" she started, but before she could finish he thrust himself upon her, his tongue plunging into her mouth. "Ugh, get off me!" she snapped, this time having no attraction towards the boy with the full-moon-on-the-water eyes. When he didn't, still sure that he could win her over as he did last time…  
She buried her knee in his groin.  
He let out a strangled cry and fell to the floor, holding himself and curled up into a tight ball.  
She leapt over him and to her room, slamming the door tight behind her. She didn't even offer her a painkiller this time.

So now Hermione was left in her bedroom, listening to Malfoy storm about in his room. She hated the thought that Malfoy had been her first kiss that was… well… French. He was just so good at it. That was a plus. He was Draco Malfoy. That was a minus big enough to cancel out the plus.  
She groaned and rubbed her temple, the memory of him and his awful behaviour running through her mind.  
She knew that she had to leave sometime. Looking at the clock, she realized that Sir Bentley should be back by now.  
She quietly crept to the door, listening to Malfoy scream out a bunch of curses that made her cringe. She hoped he was just cursing because he was angry, and that he wasn't saying those things about her.  
She opened it, looking around. She stared at Malfoy's door for a moment before getting the courage to tiptoe over to the exit.  
She did so quietly, listening to him storm about in his room some more. That boy had to get control of his temper!  
The floorboard creaked beneath her foot and she froze. No more noise was coming out of Malfoy's bedroom. She stood there, breathing heavy. She listened to him storm angrily to his door. She couldn't move. She watched him swing open the door, his clothes a mess and his hair ruffled. His eyes were darting, and they focused on her. She still couldn't move. She was entranced by him.  
Then she realized that she was really digging herself deeper. She had to get out of there.  
She ran for the portrait opening. He ran for her. They were running so fast that before they could stop, they collided.  
Hermione tumbled to the floor.  
Draco had managed to stay standing.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled and reached down to help her up. She looked at it warily before taking it, letting him help her stand. "And not just for knocking you down. I wanted to say I'm sorry for how I acted earlier," he said, not looking at her. She watched him clench and unclench his fists. She sighed, remembering that was exactly how she had been when she had been caught off guard by the effects of the medication.  
She reached out and touched his arm.

"It's okay," she said. He tried to pull her in and kiss her, but she pushed him backwards. He blushed and stepped back.

"God, you have to feel like this constantly?" he asked, rubbing his neck. She sighed and nodded sadly. He shook his head. "I should have known. You always have that look on your face like you want to jump me," he said with a smirk. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You know what; I think it'd be best if I just left for now. By the time I get back the side effects should have mostly warn off," she said.

"You know they should make this drug illegal! It may help with the pain and stuff, but the other side effects are just plain evil! Stupid Muggles!" he called out. Hermione laughed.

"Then I guess you've never heard of Viagra, have you?" she asked as she managed to leave the room, finding Sir Bentley looking rather content from his cup of tea with his date.  
Malfoy furrowed his eyebrows, confused and talking to himself.

"What's Viagra?"

---

Con-struc-tive:D


	14. Chapter XIV

Memo: Here you go. Got to run to English to watch Psycho

"Patronum," Hermione said to the Fat Lady who swept into a curtsy before opening. Hermione was glad she still had the password to the Gryffindor Common Room. She had nowhere else to go and she was surely not returning to anywhere near Malfoy while his hormones were still on a rampage.

She climbed inside quickly and listened to the portrait shut behind her. She saw that Harry, Ron, and Ginny were all hanging out in the Common Room. She gave them a brief smile and approached them.

"Hello," she said and sat down next to Ginny. They all said hi to her, and then they were silent. They were awkward in behaviour. Hermione was growing tired of their odd ways when she was around. What had happened?

Why was everything so strange with them now?

"So how are things?" she asked. They shrugged and mumbled some answers. There was another awkward silence as they all adverted their eyes from Hermione's expectant ones.

"How are you?" Ginny asked and placed a hand carefully on Hermione's. Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. She looked Ginny deep in the eyes and saw that worry and concern was practically rushing from them in waves.

There was no way that she could know. It was impossible.

She looked at Ron and Harry; both of them eyeing her with the same care and hurt. This wasn't right. She had worked so hard to avoid stares like this. She wasn't going to let her friends treat her as if she was admitted into the hospital on her deathbed.

"What's wrong with you three?" she asked and tried to be clueless. Her voice betrayed her and gave away the fact that she was nervous. Ginny took a shaky breath.

"We know that you're sick," she said quietly. Hermione pursed her lips tightly and her eyes narrowed. She lost all colour in her cheeks and even her hair seemed to go flat. She looked almost defeated.

They were silent, watching Hermione slowly grasp the idea and not even saying a word. Ron opened his mouth several times to say something. He planned on saying something sweet and funny. Something that would let Hermione know that he was there for her and always would be, no matter what was wrong. Still he was afraid that his voice wouldn't come out as calm and reassuring as he would want and would instead crack with fear.

"How?" Hermione asked quietly, ringing her hands in her lap anxiously. She needed an answer; she couldn't bear being treated like this.

"I saw your medicine," Ginny said. Hermione looked up at her and narrowed her eyes once more, only this time it was with anger.

"You went through my things?" she asked, her voice seething with anger and frustration. Ginny paled and looked down, taking her hand from Hermione's and avoiding looking at her. "How dare you?" Hermione growled through clenched teeth. She shot venomous looks at Ron and Harry who sat silent and dumbfounded.

"Hermione," Harry started to say.

"Don't Hermione me! I don't want to hear it, Harry!" Hermione snapped, surprised at the anger and strength in her voice. "You three had no right to invade my personal life!" she hissed. Ron shook his head, staring at Hermione in disbelief.

"It's called being a good friend!" he objected. Hermione shot a death glare at him and he cowered at her anger. He mustered up his courage and didn't back down from her icy glare again.

"No, it's called invasion of privacy. It's called being nosy," she snapped back at him. "I didn't tell you three for this **_exact_** reason!" she cried out, grabbing fistfuls of hair and staring at the floor. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and her shoulders trembled as she held back the tears.

Ron stood and walked around the back of the couch and placed his hands on her shoulders. The pain and tension in them was so obvious he was surprised she hadn't broken yet. Hermione was so beautiful and so strong.

Whatever was happening to her she didn't deserve.

He rubbed her shoulders carefully and she lowered her head farther as if she wanted to curl up into a ball and hide from the world. As if she wanted to disappear.

That's when he saw it. His eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock. He couldn't believe his eyes and didn't realize he looked like a beached fish. A deep slash followed along her hairline perfectly, purple and swollen, black veins making him feel nauseous. Black stitches went along through the slash, sealing it tightly together, causing the skin to pucker. It almost looked as if someone had scalped her and then re-stitched it back on.

He grimaced but did not falter in the motions his hands made on her shoulders.

"Hermione, please just tell us," he said quietly. His voice quivered like a leaf in the gentle fall breeze. Ron couldn't even look down at the angry slashes along the back of her head. It was the most horrific sight he had ever seen.

"You don't understand, Ron. I can't. You don't know what's wrong with me... you don't have the slightest idea," she said and felt her body shudder again as she held back the tears.

She then sat up straight, her hair hiding the cut as if it were never there. Her silky hair rushed against Ron's hands and he continued to knead her shoulders.

She put a hand on his and gave it a gentle squeeze in thanks.

"Hermione whatever you think you have to hide from us, you don't. We're here for you," Harry reassured her and leaned in. "But we can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong," He said simply.

Hermione looked up at him sadly and he got a good look at her. He could tell whatever was happening to her was getting worse as the days went by. She had looked slightly troubled and underweight at the beginning of the school year, sure. He had just figured she had problems at home. Now the bones in her face were slowly beginning to jut out of her skin.

The swollen dark circles beneath her eyes were puffy and purple. Her lips looked swollen... only... he shook his head, getting rid of the thought that she had been kissing someone. She looked alone and frightened, and as if she were hiding so many secrets in those dark brown eyes and she refused to let any of them out.

"I... I'm... I'm... I can't," she said and covered her face to hide a sob as she rushed from the Common Room. Ron stepped back, shudders overcoming him.

Everything he had held back when he first saw the back of her head sliced open was now spilling out

"In the name of Merlin... oh god... oh dear lord..." he said nervously and hugged himself, trying to stop the shaking. Harry stood, staring at his best friend oddly.

"What's going on? What happened?" Harry asked. Ron looked at Harry, looking rather sickly.

"Hermione..." he mumbled and then squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed at them as if trying to rid himself of some sort of dream or vision.

"What?" Ginny demanded of her older brother. He looked at her and then at Harry. He swallowed the dry lump in his throat.

"She had... this thing on the back of her neck..." he said and traced a line across his hairline. "It was... oh my god it was the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen. It almost looked as if someone had scalped her and then sown it back on!" he said. He then went pale, his eyes bulging from his head. "You don't think... you don't think that she was tortured over the summer, do you?" he asked.

Ginny gasped and Harry let out a terrified groan.

"Is that what she could be hiding? I mean, she never actually said she was sick. She just asked how we knew... I mean... what if... what if she was captured by Voldemort or something..." Harry mumbled and then took handfuls of his hair and yanked out it, letting out an angry cry. "That must be why she doesn't want me to know! Because of what Voldemort has already taken from me... she knew that if I knew what had happened I'd never forgive myself..." he groaned again.

Ginny let a terrified cry escape her lips as tears pricked at her eyes.

"Oh Harry... imagine what might have happened to her..." Ginny gasped. Ron hid his face in his hands to hide the tears from his best friend and baby sister. The girl he loved, captured and tortured by Voldemort and his foul followers... the thought made sobs rush through him.

"We can't rush to conclusions," Harry said though tears brimmed his eyes and he could feel it down to his core that it was exactly what had happened to her.

br How could he have let this happen? How? He was supposed to be the one to protect Hermione! Now she was being tortured by Voldemort while Harry spent his entire day moping about because the Dursley's had made him lock Hedwig up again.

"We're not RUSHING to anything, Harry!" Ron snapped angrily. "I mean, we've been in school for more than a WEEK! I think we've spent bloody well enough time thinking this over!" he snapped, ignoring the fact that tears were relentlessly spilling over his paled cheeks.

"We need to see Professor Dumbledore," Ginny said quietly. They looked at her.

"Do you really think that he'd tell us anything, Ginerva?" Ron snapped angrily. Harry glared at him and Ron mumbled an apology, still obviously flustered about the thought of anyone hurting Hermione.

"I suppose he is our best shot," Harry sighed. "I hope we can be persuasive enough," he laughed airily and then shut his eyes tight, blocking out images of Hermione screaming as Voldemort slowly cut off her scalp, stripping her of her bushy hair

He felt a dry heave come over him.

"Then what the BLOODY HELL are we waiting for?" Ron shouted at them and then stormed angrily from the Common Room, Harry and Ginny tagging along behind.

They were all horrified and disgusted with themselves and what had happened to Hermione... but then again they could be wrong, couldn't they? If she had been tortured by Voldemort...

How did she manage to escape alive?


	15. Chapter XV

**Memo: I did it again didn't I? Sorry. I just get carried away and forget about the smaller things. I'll try and update once a week from now on. I'm sure you're all DYING to know whats wrong with Hermione Granger. I'm sorry to say though that she's rather stubborn and rather not disclose it to her readers at this very moment ;) But why not read and find out right?**

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Hermione sat inside of Dumbledore's office. She was so nervous that her palms had become clammy and sweaty; she had a mild headache and voices rushed through her head, telling her to run away. It was telling her to just go to her room and sleep it all away. When she woke up it would all be gone. It would be as if it were all just some sort of horrible nightmare.

She knew that this fantasy would never hold. Every time she closed her eyes this false hope fluttered through her thoughts and mixed in her blood, pounding through her heart with every weakening beat.

She had to stay strong though. She had come back to Hogwarts this year to prove she was strong. She had come back to Hogwarts to prove that she wouldn't give in.

Dumbledore stepped into the office, his robes swaying about his feet gracefully. His long white beard covered his chest and his long white hair covered his back. His blue eyes weren't twinkling very brightly behind his moon-shaped spectacles.

Whenever he was around her, they seemed to lose their shine.

"Good evening, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said with barely a shadow of a smile.

"Good morning, Professor," she said quietly, staring at her sweaty hands. She took a shaky breath and felt her body shiver. She got control of her emotions and worries before looking up at the man, pride, strength, and confidence in her eyes and posture.

Still, even Hermione knew that her deep seeded fear and worry was obvious to the naked eye.

"How are you feeling?"

"As well as can be expected," she answered. "Thank you," she added quickly as she remembered her manners. Dumbledore smiled and took his seat behind his large desk. He began to fiddle with a beautiful red and black quill. Hermione watched him in silence.

"You remember your appointment at St. Mungo's?" he asked. Hermione went pale and nodded quickly.

"Yes sir."

"Will anyone be accompanying you?" he asked. Hermione looked up at him and furrowed his eyebrows.

"No, sir. I'd prefer if I did this on my own," she answered quietly. Dumbledore sighed and looked at her before turning gently, back and forth, in his chair. The squeaking was slowly getting on Hermione's nerves.

"Professor McGonagall will be escorting you there. In case the news you receive isn't exactly... pleasant... are you sure the shoulder you want to cry on is that of a Professor and not of a friend?" he asked, cocking his head. Hermione sighed and shook her head.

"Professor, I know the news will not be in the least bit pleasant. I don't plan on shedding a tear. I just want to get this over with and then come back to Hogwarts," she answered simply. Dumbledore shook his head sadly.

"Miss Granger, I can see that you think it's strong to carry this burden all by yourself. What you don't seem to realize is that it's the strong that let others help them. It's the strong that can admit defeat. It's the strong that accepts the helping hand of one outreached, not shoving it away," he told her. Hermione's lips went tight and she clenched her hands together. He knew nothing of what she was going through, so he should tell her nothing about being strong.

"I appreciate everything you've done for me, Professor. But this is something I really wish to do on my own," she told him once again. Dumbledore nodded deeply.

"Very well, Miss Granger. Your carriage will be waiting for you at ten o'clock tomorrow morning. I suppose you should inform Mr. Potter and the young Weasley's of this?" he added. Hermione shook her head.

"They know nothing about what I'm going through," she said quietly. Professor Dumbledore sighed and stared at Hermione sadly.

"I was informed that you would be informing them after your appointment tomorrow," he said. Hermione paled as she remembered her promise to Hagrid. She bit her lip nervously and shrugged.

"I will tell them, Professor. I just don't know if it's going to be immediately after I return. I plan on telling them everything," she said quietly, lying through clenched teeth. Dumbledore could see the lies. He could see how she couldn't look him in the eyes. He could see that she was indeed too stubborn for her own good.

"Very well, Miss Granger. It is still in my advice that you bring someone along with you tomorrow. You have the ability to hold it all inside tonight, but there is no telling of tomorrow," he said with a shrug.

Hermione nodded.

"Yes, Professor. I'll consider it." He nodded and waved his hand as he dismissed her. She stood and wrapped her clothes tightly around her figure. She caught sight of her thin hand and grimaced. How much weight had she lost? Twenty pounds at least. She shook her head sadly and left the office...

Just to run into the three most unlikely people.

"Ron! Harry! Ginny! What are you doing here?" she exclaimed. They looked at her, tears immediately filling their eyes.

"We need to talk to Professor Dumbledore about something," Ginny said quickly and brushed by her. Harry nodded, not even being able to look her in the eyes. He followed Ginny.

Ron stood there, staring at Hermione with tears on the verge of spilling. His eyes flickered over her face, studying her every feature.

"Ron?" she asked quietly and reached out, touching his arm. He let out a strangled cry and threw his arms around her, embracing her so tightly that she could barely breathe. She let out a small yip as his grip tightened and he muffled a sob in his neck.

Then, without even saying goodbye, he rushed through into Dumbledore's office, the stone gargoyle cutting off any way of listening to what they had to say.

"Professor!" Ginny exclaimed to the white haired man sitting behind the desk. He looked up at them quizzically.

"Yes?" he asked innocently.

"We demand to know what's wrong with Hermione Granger," Harry said stubbornly. Dumbledore laughed kindly.

"Mr. Potter, do you really find yourself in any position to be ordering me about?" he asked. Harry blushed and took a single step back. Ron stepped forward.

"We know that Hermione was tortured by Lord Voldemort!" he cried out. Ginny and Harry glared daggers at him, but Ron didn't care. His emotions were pounding in his heart and head. He wasn't thinking clearly. He just wanted to be there for Hermione.

"Wherever did you get that idea?" Dumbledore asked. Ron rolled his eyes and blurted out about his theory on the scalping. Ginny and Harry stayed quiet, not defending their friend nor objecting to his ramblings.

Professor Dumbledore shook his head.

"You have a very wild imagination, Mr. Weasley. I do assume it was not on your own doing that you reached this conclusion, however," he said as his blue eyes flickered over to the two standing in the corner, who began to blush.

"So she wasn't... Voldemort didn't..."

"No, Mr. Weasley. I assure you that Voldemort had nothing to do with Miss Granger's current state," he answered truthfully. The level of relief and happiness in the air after that was astonishing, and Ginny was on the verge of crying from the lift of pressure.

"So... what is wrong with her?" Harry asked, ending his silence. Professor Dumbledore sighed and shook his head.

"She has asked me not to disclose this information. I'm sorry," he said.

"Why not?" Ron demanded. Dumbledore looked at Ron and shook his head.

"Some things, Mr. Weasley, are not information that needs to be known by the entire world. Miss Granger would prefer if she handled this on her own," he said and stood, pacing around the room.

"So there's nothing we can do?" Ginny asked quietly. Dumbledore shrugged, something mischievous brewing beneath those bright blue eyes.

"I'm afraid not, Miss Weasley. Miss Granger is leaving at exactly ten o'clock tomorrow morning in a large black carriage with Professor McGonagall exactly where the students who go to Hogsmeade meet. She will be on her way to St. Mungo's. I told her that she was permitted to have someone accompany her, but she preferred to do this on her own," he said.

'St. Mungo's?' Ron mouthed to Harry, who shrugged.

"So, Mr. Potter, I would advise that you take advantage of what you have, because I don't think that Miss Granger sees things as clearly as others," he said with a wink. "Now, I have some important business to attend to. Hagrid has some new Brandy and I feel that it is my responsibility to make sure that it is only the best," he said with a jolly laugh before escorting the group out of the office.

They stood there in front of the stone gargoyle, watching Dumbledore's retreating figure

"Come on, we need to make a plan!" Ginny squealed in excitement.

"What are you talking about?" Ron asked quizzically. Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Oh please, you can't tell me that you two didn't understand what Dumbledore was saying!" she exclaimed. Harry and Ron furrowed their eyebrows and glanced at each other in a search for something they might have missed.

"Sorry, Gin. No idea what you're talking about," Ron shrugged.

"I swear, Hermione must have always been the one who handled the complex thinking." Ron and Harry glared at her before she continued. "He told us exactly where Hermione was going, when, how, and who was going with her. Then he told Harry to 'take advantage of what he has' because 'Hermione doesn't see things as clearly as others'. Don't you understand?" she asked one more time.

"Sorry," Harry shrugged. Ginny threw her arms in the air in exasperation before continuing.

"He wants us to use Harry's invisibility cloak and go with Hermione!" she cried out. As she said it all the hints seemed to register with Harry and Ron and they felt like idiots that they hadn't seen it before.

They were going to find out what was wrong with Hermione, whether she liked it or not.

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**A.N: I checked for errors but knowing me I missed one or two. Tell me if I have please.**


	16. Chapter XVI

**Memo: Sorry, I uploaded one but it was the wrong chapter so I had to 'BETA' read this one. And knowing me I take my time ; Anyway enjoy these next two chapters.**

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Hermione sat there, nervously tapping her foot. Why was she doing this? Why was she being so stupid? She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. She sat on the Common room couch nervously, not wanting to seem anxious but not wanting him to think she didn't care.

Why was everything so confusing? Did what Dumbledore say get to her?

Of course it didn't; she was doing this because she wanted to, because she needed support!

Was she weak? Dumbledore said it made her strong. Did she believe him?

Questions were running endlessly through her mind when he stepped out of the bathroom. Her eyes flickered up to him and she turned a bright red and turned away quickly.

"Oh please, Granger. Stop with the morals," Malfoy said as he stopped drying his hair with the fluffy white towel and wrapped it around his waist.

"Are you decent?" she asked nervously. He sighed loudly.

"No, but I'm as decent as I'm going to get," he said. Hermione turned around slowly and her eyes flickered over the damp Malfoy. She was much more comfortable now that his... manhood... was not exposed.

"Didn't you take a shower this morning?" she asked him as he walked around and plopped lazily on the couch next to her. He did look really very handsome with his usually greasy hair damp and clean. He nodded and shrugged.

"Yea, but I felt I needed a cold shower," he said.

"Oh? Why?" she asked innocently. He looked at her for a moment; in disbelief she had no idea what he meant.

"Are you serious?" she furrowed her eyebrows, confused. "This is brilliant. Know-it-all Granger doesn't know about guys," he laughed. He looked at her, his eyes bearing into her in a dazzling way. She was entranced.

"Please tell me," she asked. He smiled at her. He took her hand in his and began to explain.

"Well, when a man has sexual needs that cannot be satisfied and he doesn't wish to relieve them in... certain ways... he takes a cold shower or bath to... calm himself and get out all of his... tension," he said. Hermione turned a dark red and stared straight ahead, slipping her hand quickly out of his.

"Oh," she whispered quietly and awkwardly. He laughed.

"Don't worry. Not a lot of people know about it. Even boys," he shrugged. "But I find it much more... satisfying than other ways," he winked at her.

"I feel really uncomfortable talking about this with you," she said, her voice high pitched and nervous. Malfoy just laughed at her.

"I know, that's why I'm talking about it," he said and patted her shoulder. Hermione glared at him and then rolled her eyes.

"You know what? Forget it. I can't believe I was going to be so stupid..." she mumbled to herself as she began to walk away from him. Malfoy jumped up and over the back of the couch, cutting her off from the most direct path to her bedroom.

"Forget what?" he asked, squinting curiously. Hermione waved her hand.

"I was just going to ask you a favour. Nevermind. It was silly," she said and attempted to walk around him. He stepped in her way again.

"Then tell me what you were going to ask," he demanded. Hermione shook her head, frustration beginning to rise.

"No!" she snapped at him and tried to walk around him again. He stepped in her way once more.

Hermione clenched her hands into fists repeatedly, trying to ease the frustration and anger he was bringing out.

"Are you not telling me because I said you were a bad kisser?"

"No!"

"Cause you know you have potential," he said with a shrug. Hermione turned a beat red… Well she would of if her face wasn't crimson already.

"Get out of my way you snivelling prat!" she snapped at him and shoved her way by.

"Granger!" he snapped and grabbed her by the shoulder, spinning her around. "You have some serious anger problems!"

"Yes, well you're an arrogant prick but I'm not holding that against you," she hissed at him.

He rolled his eyes.

"You just did," he pointed out. "I'm not going to let you go anywhere until you tell me EXACTLY what this favour is... I mean was," he said with a clever glimmer in his eyes. She stood there, staring at him. Her eyes flickered slowly over him. Why did he have to be so handsome? Why did he have to be so charming? He was such a foul, loathsome creature and yet she wanted nothing more than his arms wrapped around her.

"It doesn't matter," she said quietly as she adverted her eyes. He noted all the tension had gone from her frail figure. Her eyes were misting over and she just looked so reserved. What hurt him was the fact that what she was holding inside was pain.

"It matters to me, Granger. We both know that I can be stubborn when I want to," he whispered, a challenge in his tone. She didn't have the strength to challenge him as she usually would; She just wanted to rest, She needed to close her eyes. She needed a nice, long hot bath.

"I wanted to ask you if you would accompany to my... appointment at St. Mungo's tomorrow. I can see now that I was being foolish and you are no where near mature or civil enough to do so," she said quietly. He sighed, shaking his head.

"Granger I'm going to take you to St. Mungo's tomorrow, whether you like it or not. I'm stronger than you. Obviously you're not up for putting up a fight about this either," he said. Hermione looked up into his dazzling eyes.

"Malfoy, McGonagall told us to be civil to one another. You're being more than civil. You're being... friendly," she said quietly. Her eyes bore into his eyes. He looked at the floor, just the shadow of a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"I don't know... I suppose you're growing on me or something. Anyways, I may be evil but when you actually put up with my... you know... umm... the side effects of the painkiller I guess you got on my soft side. Thanks again for kicking me... there... or we might have done something that we would have regretted," he said. All of this was in a mumble and Hermione couldn't help but let a small smile play across her lips.

"You're welcome... though we both know that there was no chance I would have let anything happen," she said with that familiar pride. He rolled his eyes.

"You've made it quite clear you can't resist me, Granger," he sneered. Hermione opened her mouth to retort, but he cut her off. "Now it's my turn to ask you something. Why ask me to go with you to St. Mungo's? Why not ask a Weasel or Wonder-Boy?" he asked. Hermione grimaced at the names that Malfoy called Ron, Ginny, and Harry but did not feel like arguing about her friends that evening.

"Because you're the only one who knows... sort of... she said and plopped down on the couch. Malfoy sat down next to her, forgetting he was still only wearing a towel. Hermione surely hadn't forgotten.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice softening and losing all hints of sarcasm. He seemed to genuinely care. Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat and then looked away from him.

"That day that Harry, Ron, and Ginny came over, Ginny went through my medication. They had some sort of strange intervention."

"She actually had the nerve to go through your personal belongings?" Draco asked in almost a hiss, acting as if the thought made him angry.

"It wasn't her fault. I left the medication out on the counter... I just completely... forgot..." she said, a wistful look in her eyes. Draco smiled at her and took her hand in his own.

"Forgetting seems to mean a lot to you," he said quietly. She nodded sadly. She looked up at Draco slowly. His eyes were silver and beautiful, his lips soft and appealing. He looked so safe, so adoring, so handsome.

She wanted nothing more than to run her hands along his smooth, damp chest and wet hair and kiss him deeply...

"Well... I'm... I'm really tired, Malfoy. I'm off to bed," she said and stood, walking towards her bedroom. He remained on the couch. She turned and looked at him sadly one last time, hating the fact that he was her enemy and loving the fact that for some reason she didn't seem to care anymore. "Draco?"

"Yes?" he asked, not turning around to look at her.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being real."


	17. Chapter XVII

**Meme: I Hope the Suspense hasn't killed any of my readers. My apologies go out if they did. P.S I love Fai-kun...**

"I can't believe we're doing this," Ron mumbled to Harry, trying to stay as far away from his as possible but still being hidden beneath the invisibility cloak. "I mean it was bad enough dealing with my sister when we wouldn't let her come, but imagine if McGonagall catches us?" he reminded the raven-haired boy who stood silent beside him.

"Shut up, Ron, I think they're coming. Anyways, Ginny understood that there wouldn't be enough room for her to safely hide all three of us," Harry mumbled. "Now hush up, here they are," he jabbed Ron in the ribs. The carriage shook as Professor McGonagall climbed aboard, followed by a very nervous looking Hermione. Ron saw how shallow her cheeks were and the pain hidden in her chocolate brown eyes, but said nothing.

He was on the verge of screaming when he saw that Draco Malfoy climbed in behind her. Did Hermione invite that stupid ferret? He saw red as Malfoy sat strangely close to Hermione and gave her a reassuring smile.

That was _his_ job.

Glancing at Professor McGonagall, Ron and Harry could see that she wasn't too pleased with the situation either.

"Are you prepared?" she asked Hermione tightly. Hermione nodded grimly and stared straight at Ron and Harry. At first he thought that she could see him, but she was simply staring through the window in which they stood in front of.

"Granger, are you alright?" Malfoy asked her stiffly, nervous to be speaking to her in front of the Professor.

If she were she wouldn't be going to St. Mungo's... or be sitting here with you Ron thought grimly as he stared at them. Hermione looked at him and gave him a sweet smile, one that made Ron's blood boil. He felt Harry nudge him briefly, but Ron ignored it. He couldn't stop staring at Draco and Hermione.

"Yes," she whispered and Ron's eyes widened when he saw that the side of her hand was pressed gently against Malfoy's. They were just sitting next to each other; of course they were going to touch. Still, Hermione should be drawing away as if he were acid. How is it that she chose him? Questions and logic were blurred by his anger.

"I see you two really took my warning to be civil to heart," Professor McGonagall said through narrowed eyes. Hermione looked at Malfoy in a way that made Ron pull at his hair to keep from screaming.

"Well, he's the only one who… he… I mean Professor, he lives with me," she said. She narrowed her eyes at Hermione. "He sees me every morning, night, and day. He doesn't know... but he's the one person that knows the most. He knows which medication is which and how to help me in case of emergency. I brought him with me because... I guess he's sort of become my safety net," she said slowly. Malfoy seemed unaffected by this explanation.

Professor McGonagall smiled lightly.

"Well I'm happy that you put aside your personal and public differences to help overcome the current... problem," she finished tightly and looking at the ground, ashamed of bringing it up. Hermione sighed and looked out the window again. Her lips moved as if she were speaking to herself.

Ron wanted to be her safety net. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to be there to help her when he was in trouble. But now because of her stupid Head Girl duties she was being pulled away from him and drawn towards that foul good-for-nothing egotistical bastard Malfoy.

They all sat in silence for the rest of the long journey to St. Mungo's. Ron continued to give Draco his invisible death stare and Hermione continued to look right through him... literally.

Ron was too busy thinking to notice Harry leading him out of the carriage and into St. Mungo's. He didn't notice them checking in or even creeping along with them until they reached the destination.

Harry nudged Ron and when he looked up; he saw Professor McGonagall and Malfoy sitting in the waiting room impatiently.

They both looked afraid, grim, and just plain petrified. There was no sign of Hermione.

Ron led Harry a safe distance away from the two.

"What's going on?" he asked. Harry rolled his eyes.

"You were so busy being pissed about Malfoy that you didn't even notice Hermione go away with those Healers. She's been gone for nearly twenty minutes," Harry grumbled.

"In the name of Merlin, it's been that long?" Ron exclaimed and Harry quieted him.

"Yes. She should be coming out any minute now," Harry whispered. "Ron, I don't think this was a very good idea. We should just go back to the carriage now..."

"NO! We came all the way here and we're not backing down now," Ron said angrily. He looked around. "Plus, the news can't be that horrible, can it?" he grumbled. A door swung open with a whoosh of air and they froze in silence. They were too far away to hear what was happening.

Hermione came out, walking stiffly. A smile was plastered across her face. There was something wrong with her though. She was walking too stiffly. The smile was too wide. It was fake, and it was all wrong. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong...

That wasn't true though. Hermione was standing there firmly, smiling. Nothing could be wrong.

Ron felt the fear and anxiety slowing lifting off of his shoulder...

Hermione collapsed to the floor, her body shaking with violent sobbing. Her hair hung in her face and she screamed in anger and pain and began to beat the floor violently. The Healers stood there watching, their heads lowered sadly.

Professor McGonagall watched in horror as tears filled her usually stern eyes. She buried her face in her hands and began to cry. Her cries were whispers compared to Hermione's pained and nightmarish screams and wails.

Malfoy slid onto the floor beside her, calm and reassuring. He gathered her into his arms and held her tightly against his chest, pressing his lips against her head. She clung to him desperately, her face twisted as she sobbed and curled up against him. She looked as if she wanted to disappear and just melt into him. She looked like she wanted to die.

Ron and Harry could do nothing. They just stood there, helpless and unable to help their dearest friend in the world. They watched the tears and screams of anguish and they couldn't move. They were rooted to the floor.

A single tear slipped from Ron's eye. His lip trembled and his body shivered. A sudden revelation had come over him, one that he should have realized long ago. One that was so obvious but he had been denying since the first day he saw her at the beginning of the year.

Hermione Granger, his best friend and the girl he loved more than anything, was dying.

And there was nothing anyone could do to save her.

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Faiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Anyway Happy Birthday Rio D 


	18. Chapter XVIII

**Memo: Filler Ahead. Sorry your going to suffer now ;)**

That evening, Hermione walked slowly throughout the grounds.

She had rushed from the carriage, not giving Professor McGonagall or Malfoy a chance to say anything. She wondered if the word had spread throughout the faculty yet. It was such great news, wasn't it?

She sighed and wiped the tears slowly from her eyes. She was heading to Hagrids' Hut. He had a right to know directly from her.

She had an obligation to tell him.

So with a deep breath she climbed the oversized steps and knocked heavily on the door to his home.

He opened it up with a cheery smile on his face. His smile faltered just barely when he saw her. He had grown accustomed to her illness. She wondered how he'd react to the news she had now.

"Hermione! Come in, come in," he said happily and motioned for her to join him. She stepped in quietly, wrapping her arms tightly around her. She sighed sadly, closing her eyes. She sat down in one of the oversized chairs.

He bustled about, preparing her a mug of tea. She smiled at him.

She was going to miss Hagrid so much.

"How are you?" she asked shakily.

"Doing mighty good. Dumbledore said that he might even let me keep a dragon at the castle if I can tame him. Dumbledore's a great man, Hermione. A great man. Ain't one greater," he said and praised Professor Dumbledore as he set the mug of tea in front of Hermione.

She wrapped her ice-cold fingers around the hot glass. She stared into the tea, making it swirl gently and steadily.

"What's wrong?" he asked. He sat down and leaned in close, listening to her. She looked up at him, trying her best to restrain the tears.

"I had my appointment at St. Mungo's this afternoon," she said with a shrug. Hagrid raised his large bushy eyebrows.

"Really? How'd that go?" he asked and sipped his tea, his eyes studying her face intently.

"Not too good, Hagrid," she said. The tears overcame her and she lowered her eyes, her voice having gone weak. She took steady breaths. She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.

He set his mug down carefully.

"How much not good?" he asked, his voice cracking nervously. He cleared his throat, "Excuse me," he whispered. Hermione looked up at him, a tear falling from her eye slowly. Her lip trembled and she took another deep breath.

"Hagrid... if it weren't for magic I wouldn't have been able to last thing long... even with magical treatment I won't... I won't... I might not be able to graduate," she whispered. Hagrid's hands were shaking horrible.

"No…no...there has to be a way," he said and tried to hide the tears in his eyes. Hermione let a sob escape her before she regained her composure.

"No... muggle doctors and magical healers have done everything..."she whispered. "The healers offered remedies that would prolong it..."

"That's great!"

"I refused them. It required my constant residency at St. Mungo's, and things that would have... I wouldn't be the same. I refused every treatment offered. If I'm not going to last I at least want the last of my time to be as normal as possible," she said and then clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her sobbing.

Hagrid buried his face in his hands and sobbed heavily. His enormous body trembled and caused the china to rattle.

She rushed over to his side and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He returned the embrace, taking comfort from her small body. He sobbed against her and she stroked his mane of unruly hair.

After about half an hour of tears and silence, he finally spoke.

"How did Harry and Ron and Ginny take it?" he asked and wiped his nose along his giant arm.

Hermione shied away, adverting her eyes and facing the door.

"They don't know, she said. "I can't tell them," she added. Hagrid shook his head.

"You have to tell them! This isn't right, Hermione!" he exclaimed, standing up. Hermione looked up at his massive figure. "You promised you'd tell them!"

"That's when I thought I was going to LIVE!" Hermione screamed and collapsed to the floor.

Hagrid was silent as she sat in a small ball on the floor. "I really thought I was...I thought I was...I didn't think...Hagrid I'm only seventeen," she sobbed.

He sat next to her and wrapped his heavy arm around her shoulder.

"It will be alright, Hermione. You need your friends through this, though. This is something you can't handle alone," he said and kissed the top of her head.

She shook her head and sighed.

"How do you think they'd act? How do you think they'd treat me, Hagrid? I want my last days to be the best days... and they can't be that way if they're treating me like china. I just want everything to be normal," she whispered. She then looked up at Hagrid with a weak and trembling smile. "And I'm not alone... thank you for being here Hagrid," she added.

Tears filled his eyes again at the thought of losing Hermione, and he cried quietly and held her tightly, treasuring his time he had with her.


	19. Chapter XIX

**Memo: Hi to all my readers. Sorry about the long wait and I'm extremely happy that people on don't send me those "ONGOSH PLEASE UPDATE!" Messages. I really appreciate it. This is the chapter all the Draco/Hermione Shippers are waiting for and for those non-DM/HG shippers I will make you one after reading this. Hopefully.**

**School was really busy last week, had all my yearly exams so I didn't have time for this but now that I have my not so pleasing…58/80 for Maths and 84/120 in science…Still awaiting English hopefully I won't lose a mark for spelling again results I can post fanfiction.**

**Personal Shout out: Suzanna you aren't the same because you wouldn't be able to write this :D**

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When Hermione stood in front of Sir Bentley, her eyes red and sore and her lip trembling, she didn't know what to do. Should she go inside and face Malfoy? Should she tell him exactly what the matter was? Was she strong enough to force herself to tell the world?

"Miss Granger?" Sir Bentley asked. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not," she answered and gave him a sad smile. "Charlatan," she whispered and he nodded deeply before swinging out of her way. She stepped inside and was breathing shakily. She stepped into the well-lit Common Room and found Malfoy sitting in an armchair, staring into the fire.  
His eyes darted up to her when he heard her footsteps. He said nothing, just stared at her with those spectacular full-moon-on-the-water eyes. She stood there, helpless and vulnerable to the world.  
She took a shaky step towards him.  
He rushed to her side and helped her to the couch. She was surprised at how much she leaned against Malfoy. Her head throbbed and she felt clammy. She felt drained and used up.  
He helped her sit on the couch and looked at her cautiously. He took a seat by her side and continued to say nothing. She stared at him, expecting a flood of questions and assumptions. He did none of those things. He just continued to sit there silently and stare at the fire.

"We both know you want to ask," she said sharply. Malfoy looked up at her carefully, his eyes flickering over her. He inhaled deeply.

"No, Hermione, I don't want to. I want you to want to tell me all on your own," he said simply and then turned towards the fire.  
Hermione sat there, staring at him blankly.

"What did you just say?" she asked her voice shaky. He looked at her and furrowed his eyebrows.

"That I want you to want to tell me," he said though it sounded more like a question. She shook her head.

"No… you called me Hermione," she whispered. Malfoy shrugged, a coy smile playing across his soft-looking lips.

"Well, that is your name, isn't it?" he asked. She nodded and then pulled her eyes away from him. She couldn't bear looking at him. He knew just what she wanted and gave it to her without any hesitancy.  
That wasn't true… not completely, at least. She wanted him, but he had not yet succumbed to her.  
Did she just say that she _wanted _Draco Malfoy?  
She forced herself not to think about it.

"Do you think I should tell Harry and Ron?" she asked him. He flinched at the mention of the two boys.

"I can't say. It's your decision," he grumbled, obviously not liking the topic of Harry and Ron. She looked at him. He was staring stubbornly into the fire. She continued to stare at him and she felt his eyes flicker towards her every now and then, but he refused to look directly at her.  
The thought angered her.

"Look at me, Malfoy," she demanded. He said nothing and did not move. "Draco, please," she whispered and took his chin in her hands and turned him so he faced her. His look had softened and his eyes shined magnificently in the firelight. "What am I to you?" she asked.

"What are you rambling about?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Am I just a mudblood to you?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes. His sarcasm and amusement fell immediately and he stared at her sullenly.

"Granger, I can't just forget what you are," he told her apologetically. She pulled away and curled up into a tight ball as far away from him as she could. He still thought her a mud blood. He still thought she was a disgusting foul creature that muddied the earth. She had grown affectionate towards him and all he had done was hidden his disgust.

"I should have known," she said through her forming tears. He shook his head.

"You don't understand! I was brought up to believe mudbloods disgusting, poor people unworthy, and self-righteous pricks like Saint Potter were not qualified to be in my company!" he snapped at her. He reached out and grabbed her wrist, but she yanked it away from him.

"Just leave me alone, Malfoy!" she cried, not being able to control the tears falling freely. "I opened myself up to you… I let you see a part of me that I have guarded from the entire world! Now you're telling me that I'm still a disgusting mud blood who is not fit to stand in your presence! How demented can you get?" she snapped at him.

"If you would just let me explain, you insufferable wench!" he snapped at her. She recoiled and gave him a poisonous glare, but was silent. "Before you started insulting me, I was telling you something. I was brought up to believe all those horrible things. I was brought up to believe that to be strong you must destroy the weak. That there was no power without evil," he continued.

"Are you going to tell me something I don't know? Or are you just trying to anger me to the point where I have no choice but to hit you?" she growled at him through clenched teeth. He rolled his eyes and waved his hand, dismissing her comment.

"Now, here you are. You represent everything I was told to hate and you are what all my beliefs tell me is filth. Instead, I find you the most heartfelt, sincere, compassionate, and beautiful girl I have ever met. One that has strength beyond anything I even thought possible to achieve. How am I supposed to answer your question? 'What am I to you?' I guess that there's only one way to answer it, and I'm going to tell it to you bluntly no matter the consequences, humiliation, and embarrassment. You are everything I despise, everything I want, everything I loath, everything I need, everything I wish to be, everything I wish I weren't, everything I hate, and everything I love," he said. He took her hands in his. Her eyes were dazed and misting over, listening to every world spill gracefully from his lips.  
Her heart was beating madly as he continued.

"Hermione Granger, to answer your question, you are, literally and metaphorically speaking, everything to me," he said and gave her a small and beautiful smile. He pulled away and looked at the fire, unable to meet her eyes.  
Hermione sat there in utter shock, feelings and emotions and thoughts racing madly through her body and mind. She wanted to smack him and kiss him all at the same time.  
It wasn't fair. She was being ripped away from the world the exact same time she found something she wanted more than life itself.

"Draco?" she asked quietly.

"Hmm?" he asked, his eyes flickering over to her nervously. She gave him a sad and sweet smile, tears falling happily and sadly from her eyes.

"Could you hold me?" she asked in barely a whisper. He smiled at her kindly and lifted his arm. She crawled closer to him. He gently moved her into his lap. She was so light that he barely even felt her there. She placed her head against his chest and listened to the steady and rhythmic beating of his heart. It was like a lullaby, reassuring and sweet, and she began to fall asleep.  
She clung to his shirt and barely felt the gentle kiss he placed on her forehead. He wrapped his arms firmly around her body. He was surer of something than he had ever been in his entire life.

He would never let Hermione Granger go.

* * *

**A.N – I hope you didn't shed to many tears.**


	20. Chapter XX

**Memo: Well I'm about to go to Maths now... Enjoy while I suffer...**

Hermione woke up that evening, cuddled against Malfoy's chest. No. Not Malfoy... Draco. She rubbed her eyes and felt his chest rise with steady breathing; nestling against him, loving how he smelled and how he held her so protectively.  
_This was Malfoy!_ The two of them were mortal enemies and here she was cuddling with him in the middle of the night!  
She shifted and tried to move his arm, but she just felt his hold tighten and she slipped deeper against him as he hugged her tightly in his sleep.  
She looked at his sleeping form. She delicately touched the fine eyelashes fluttering ever so gently as his eyes moved around in deep sleep. She ran her fingers over his cheek, the bride of his nose, and his lips. They were so soft and kissable. She let her finger linger on his bottom lip, feeling his steady breathing rubbing over her cold hands.  
She pulled her hands away and then ran her fingers along his firm and strong jaw line. She watched quietly as her fingers tickled the starting stubble on his firm chin. He shifted again and she was pulled closer to him, practically melting into his arms. She craned her neck and planted a soft kiss on the curve of his jaw, remembering so long ago she had wished to do just that.

This wasn't right! He had ruined her life for so long! Harry and Ron would always hate Draco, and it was because of him that Buckbeak was almost executed and Norbert was sent off to Romania... he had ruined the lives of those she loved for so long.  
So why was it now that all those things just didn't seem to matter as much?  
She ran her hand along the curve of the muscles in his chest. She felt a soft shudder go through his body as he was woken from a deep sleep.

"Granger?" he asked in a voice that was still half asleep. "What time is it?"

"Late," she answered. He blinked heavily several times but made no movement to release her from his grip. She did not try to move either. He smiled at her with exhaustion.

"Come with me," he murmured, lifting her in his arms and towards his bedroom. Fear trickled through her.

"Draco... no. I don't... I can't..."

He continued to walk towards his bedroom and he just laughed quietly.

"Hermione, I just want to sleep," he answered and opened the door. The room was dark and she clung to him tightly as he walked closer to the bed in the centre of the room. He set her down softly on those soft, silk-like sheets. She felt him climb into the bed next to her and she listened to him remove his shirt. She was breathing heavy.  
He would never do anything to hurt her.  
She quietly and quickly removed her robes, shoes and socks until she wore her skirt and blouse. She didn't dare do anything more. She felt his arms reach out for her and wrap around her. Before she could object he had drawn her against him tightly. Her face was buried in his chest and his face was buried in her hair. He inhaled deeply and held her even closer. The safety and comfort of her arms caused a single tear to escape her eye and touched his warm skin.

"Hermione? Are you alright?" he asked in a whisper and stroked her hair. She looked up at him sadly, tears glistening.

"Draco, the entire world has turned upside down," she whispered and dabbed at the tears in her eyes. "I mean I'm sleeping with the enemy, I don't care about school work, and I'm... I'm..."

"Shh," he whispered. "I can tell you're not ready, Hermione. You will speak up when you are," he said and kissed her forehead gently.

"Why are you so perfect?" she asked him sadly. He laughed.

"I can't help it. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful," he mumbled, slowly drifting off to sleep. She smiled and ran her hands along his chest slowly.

"Then can I love you?" she asked in a whisper of a whisper.

"Hmm?" he asked, half asleep. "Didn't catch what you said," he yawned.

"It was nothing," Hermione whispered and then pressed her face against his chest. He inhaled deeply and held her tight.

"I like this nothing. Can we have nothing every night?" he mumbled and nuzzled her head gently. She giggled and discretely kissed his chest, right over his heart. His heart was beautiful, wonderful, and perfect.

"I suppose, if you promise to be civil to me," Hermione said sternly with a giggle. Malfoy smiled against her forehead and began to tickle her.

"Is this civil?" he asked.

"No!" she screamed with laughter and thrashed about as his hands danced across her skin. She giggled and laughed, screaming in delight.  
He folded his arms around her and drew her in close once again, his back pressing into her stomach. She leaned against him and let him protect her. She let him hold her. She let him complete her. She sighed deeply, wanting to drift off to sleep. Apparently she had completely woken Malfoy up, because he kept on pestering her.

"Granger? Granger! Granger..." he kept on asking, tracing small circles on her upper arm.

"What?" she asked with a yawn.

"Have you noticed that Head boy and girl duties are ridiculously simple, or is just me?" he asked.  
Hermione shrugged.

"I don't know. We both make our rounds... it's just like being a Prefect again," she answered with a yawn. "I think it's partly my fault things are so simple. I think that the Professors don't want to give me too much stress, considering my condition," she said and stretched.

"I see," he said simply and began to play with a curl in Hermione's hair. He sighed and continued to play with that single curl.

"Are you having fun?" Hermione asked.

"Yes... but I know something that would be even better," he said and turned her around quickly. Her face was inches from his. His full-moon-on-the-water eyes stared straight into her soul. The kindness and warmth she found in the depth of his eyes almost drowned her, though she didn't mind. She could barely resist running her fingers over the smooth skin of his lips.

"Draco..." she whispered and shook her head slowly. He sighed and ran his fingers along her cheekbone, tracing sensual circles about her skin.

"hat do I mean to you, Hermione?" he asked. She went pale at the question. "I told you the truth. I put myself out there for you. Now please, be generous and return the favour," he told her. Hermione sighed and looked away, saddened.

"I don't know what you mean to me. It's the truth. I plainly don't know... I've done nothing but try to figure it out, but it's just so complicated... I mean Harry and Ron would never..."

"I didn't ask about Wonder Boy and his pet Weasel, Granger. I asked about YOU," he said sternly. She sighed and shook her head.

"They're a part of me, Malfoy. No matter if you approve or not, they're a part of me," she answered him coldly. He frowned, regret in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I'll get over it, Malfoy honour," he said and tipped his fingers against his head in salute.

"Well at least now I know that you three will never be friends, considering your honour and all," Hermione grumbled sarcastically and Draco pinched her shoulder playfully.

"I'm off to bed, Granger. I don't think my self-esteem can last through another one of your insults. You can make up for it though... by letting me give you a goodnight kiss," he whispered, his breath tickling her skin.

"Malfoy..." she whispered nervously. He let out a loud sigh and leaned in. She puckered her lips and closed her eyes, but was surprised when his lips planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Goodnight, Granger," he mumbled and closed his eyes, leaving Hermione speechless in his arms.


	21. Chapter XXI

**Memo: Now I know what you're going to say in the review. Use Bold/Italics instead of caps but I couldn't help it. When I see capital letters I imagine screaming at the top of my lungs, thus the use below. Secondly you're probably wondering why it took me so long to update. I just haven't had the time. My computers crashed and now it takes me 20 minutes to load a page, so I've been stuck reading manga. But I have thought up some ideas for a future story: My own version of the 7th book. Maybe. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and the other 6 I'm putting up today. Just so you know I will tell you what's wrong with Hermione in the following chapters.**

* * *

When Hermione woke the next morning, Draco was snoring gently. She smiled at his sleeping figure. She thought about how awkward it would be if he woke up and had a change of heart and began to call her a filthy mud blood, and she frowned. With a heavy sigh she removed herself from his enticing hold and slipped out of bed.  
She dressed quietly, watching him sleep. He laid on his stomach now, his face buried in the pillow. So she walked over beside him and sat down on the side of the bed. She stroked his back gently and watched him breathe deeply.  
He fingers traced along the scar on his back. It was a nasty welt/scar that laced between his shoulder blades. She shuddered and felt tears prick her eyes at the thought of anyone hurting Draco.

She backed away slowly and rushed from his bedroom and then out of the Common Room. She would go and eat with Ron, Harry, and Ginny. She might even tell them. Who knows?  
So she descended down the Grand Staircase, saying hello to the few people who waved.  
She reached the Great Hall and looked around. It was filled with students slowly wandering in for a hearty breakfast before attending classes. Her eyes scanned the crowds, and she saw that Ron, Harry, and Ginny were all whispering quietly to one another at the Gryffindor table.  
She rushed over to them, a mildly faltering smile on her face.

"Good morning," she said cheerfully and snatched a piece of toast, spreading jam over it quietly. "I trust you all had a good weekend," she added. They sighed and looked at her strangely. They were hiding something. She could tell by the looks in their eyes. She lowered her head and concentrated on her toast.

"How was your weekend?" Ginny asked hopefully. Hermione looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

"It was alright," she shrugged and began to nibble on the corner of her toast. Harry sighed loudly. Ron was looking at her strangely. His face was all scrunched up and his face was a light shade of pink. His eyes were focusing on her with some sort of strange amount of affection. She didn't understand.

"Ron, are you alright?" she asked him. She saw the tears forming in his eyes.

"No, Hermione. I'm not all right. Not all right in the least," he said through clenched teeth in a high-pitched voice. Hermione frowned. She placed a hand gently on his.

"What is it?" she asked.

"You took… Malfoy with you to St. Mungo's… and now… you're lying… again," he said gruffly, not looking her in the eyes. Hermione went pale once again and she began to bite on her lip. Tears filled her eyes and she looked away for a moment. Her three so-called friends just started at her in silence.

"How do you know?" she asked in a whisper of a voice.

"BECASE WE WERE BLOODY THERE!" Ron shouted at her. Hermione's eyes darted towards Harry and Ginny.

"Leave me out of this," Ginny grumbled and stood, stalking angrily away from the table. Harry sat there, staring at his food, unable to meet Hermione's glare.

"So, you purposely went against my wishes, followed me, invaded my privacy, and did something so immoral that I'm in utter disbelief, just because I wasn't telling you every single thing that goes on in my life?" Hermione asked him, her voice steadily rising. Other people were beginning to lose interest in their conversations and pay attention to the heating argument.

"Well Hermione, it's not like it's some silly secret that concerns who you think is cute and whatnot! Bloody hell, Hermione! We're talking about your LIFE!" he shouted at her. Hermione's eyes darted around the silent Great Hall, everyone turning and staring at the two yelling at each other.  
She grabbed his arm and stalked with him out of the Great Hall and in front of the Grand Staircase.

"Ronald Weasley, you are acting like an immature hooligan!" Hermione snapped at him. "We are talking about my life! MY LIFE! Not yours, not Harry's, mine!"

"YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, HERMIONE!" Ron screamed reason at her. Hermione snarled at him, stepping towards him, her frail figure actually intimidating him.

"Don't you start with me, Ronald! Best friends DO NOT do the things you have done! BEST FRIENDS DO NOT stalk, sneak around, and poke their noses into the other's PRIVATE and PERSONAL lives!" she shouted at him. He was slowly turning red, the color spreading up his neck and into his ears.

"Hermione, you think you know everything! Obviously you DON'T KNOW what it means to be a BEST FRIEND!" he shouted back at her.  
Hermione felt a wave of dizziness come over her. Her vision went out of focus for a moment and she could not see Ron. She felt as if she had become trapped in thick fog. Her mind scrambled about and she took a deep steadying breath and everything slowed down and came into focus.

"Obviously you don't either," she said quietly, not having the strength to raise her voice any louder.

"IN THE NAME OF MERLIN, HERMIONE!" Ron screamed at her, his saliva flying in her face. Anger boiled inside of her. Rage was pumping through her veins.

"DON'T SCREAM AT ME RONALD WEASLEY! DON'T EVEN THINK THAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH TALKING TO ME LIKE THIS!"

"I CAN TALK TO YOU ANY WAY I WANT, YOU TRAITOR! HERMIONE, IT'S DRACO MALFOY!" Ron screamed at her, his eyes bulging from his head.  
Hermione pursed her lips tightly, her entire face scrunching up.

"SO THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT? THIS ISN'T ABOUT MY HEALTH! THIS IS ABOUT YOUR JEALOUSY! YOU'RE JEALOUS THAT I CHOSE TO GO WITH DRACO MALFOY INSTEAD OF YOU! THE NERVE YOU HAVE… I PICKED HIM BECAUSE HE'S BEEN A BETTER FRIEND TO ME IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS THAN YOU HAVE IN THIS ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP!" she screamed at him. Ron turned completely beat red.

"I AM BETTER THAN THAT FOUL LITTLE FERRET! YOU JUST DON'T SEE IT BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO OCCUPIED WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY THAT YOU'RE COMPLETELY FORGETTING ABOUT ME AND HARRY!"

"THAT'S NOT FAIR, RONALD!"

"YES IT IS, HERMIONE! AND IF YOU PREFER MALFOY'S COMPANY SO MUCH THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST _GO TO HIM!_" he screamed at her.  
Hermione felt the tears rush over her cheeks and she turned and began to run up the Grand Staircase.  
Something happened… something clicked inside of her…

She remembered Malfoy's kiss…

Ron picking her up…

The polka dot boxers…

The laughter…

The pain…

The medicine…

The guilt…

The doctors…

The healers…

Losing friendships…

Loving Malfoy…

Ron turned to shout at Hermione again, but he saw her swaying halfway up the first set of stairs. Her grip on the railing was loosening. Her legs were trembling… she looked as if she were about to fall…

"Hermione!" he called out to her.

Hermione barely heard his cry. She was lost, trapped in a rush of memories both painful and beautiful. A final tear slipped from her eye as her consciousness slipped into complete black…

Ron watched in helpless horror as Hermione fell backwards on the stairs. He watched, frozen to the floor, as she seemed to float in air because she seemed to be falling so slowly…

It was the sound of the back of her head cracking against the marble stair that made Ron start to scream. She toppled down the stairs and Ron was screaming at the top of his lungs as her limp body tumbled down step after step…

She rolled to a stop on the floor, her face hidden beneath her hair. He rushed to her side. He lifted her into his lap and cradled her head in his hand. He felt it was warm and sticky, and he heard the dripping… the dripping… the dripping of her blood…

"Oh my god!" someone screamed from the Grand Staircase.

"Get help!" Ron sobbed hysterically.

He pulled the hair from her eyes. He saw her half open stare, the blood dripping from her nose and from between her lips… he could feel the faint pulse in her neck… it had already begun…

Hermione was dying in his arms.


	22. Chapter XXII

**Memo: ItalicFlashback for those who don't understand.**

Draco sat up in his bed, hid arms crossed stubbornly across his chest. He could still see the soft indent in his sheets were Hermione had been lying just a couple hours ago. He was angry she hadn't bothered to wake him up.  
He wondered how they would have acted around each other. Would it have been awkward or wonderful? Maybe she was right to leave things as perfect as they were.  
He shifted his back stinging a bit. The pain hadn't completely gone away yet, and he supposed it never would.

Hermione had constantly asked him why he was so nice. Why he treated her so sweetly now that she was sick. He laughed, thinking of all the pathetic excuses he had given her. He had hated her from the very beginning of this year, but when he saw that she was troubled by secrets just like his own, he found himself warming to her. She had helped him through the hardest of times and had not even realized it.  
He sighed, closed his eyes, troubled by a memory that he could never push away…

_Draco sat on the couch of his bedroom, smiling like a madman. This would be the day that he became a man. This would be the day where he left everything childish behind and accepted his responsibilities. Today was the day that he joined his father at the right hand side of Lord Voldemort.  
Then they could wipe away the scum of the Earth… starting with that mud blood Granger.  
He snickered at the thought of her being the victim of one of the attacks and his smile widened. _

"Draco," his father hissed from the doorway. His attention focused on his father. He was such a great man. He had just recently escaped the imprisonment in Azkaban. He was a changed man, even colder and stronger than he had been in the days before. Now he was a ruthless man, bloodthirsty and vengeful. He was the perfect specimen of a Death Eater.

"Yes Father?" Draco asked, respect dripping from his lips and tongue like saliva. Lucius Malfoy tried to smile at his son approvingly, but it looked more like a sneer.

"Come. It is time," he informed his son. Draco could hardly contain his excitement. He had thrived to be a servant of the Dark Lord for so long. It had been his one dream. Others had foolish expectations and wishful thinking as to being the Minister of Magic or the star player on a professional Quidditch Team. Not Draco… his long time goal in life was to be the Dark Lord's most faithful servant.

He followed his father, leaving his bedroom behind. With a shaky breath he followed the man he looked up to, his forever role model. They walked down the main staircase and into the living room.  
There two house elves stood, Dorrie and Bastion. They stood trembling and staring at the floor. They held long, silky black robes in their arms. Lucius snatched one and dressed himself quietly.  
He picked up the other and tossed it to Draco.

"Where this," he said. Excitement pounded in Draco's heart. He had never been so nervous. He could barely restrain himself from shaking. He took several deep breaths just so he could pull the robes on over his clothes.  
He looked at his father, the hooded figure striking fear and respect into his heart. Draco smiled.  
A vase was set down on the coffee table.

"Put your hand on it," his father commanded. Lucius spoke few words these days, and they were always orders. Malfoy never asked questions. There were punishments for asking too many questions.  
What he did know was that when there was a meeting held, Lord Voldemort would make it only possible to arrive with special Port Keys. You could dissaparate but never apparate. It was just the way it was. Also, you could only dissaparate if Voldemort wished it. There would be no escaping his clutches if he did not want you to do so.  
Draco was intimidated by the thought of being under complete control, but he was willing to submit so he could be a loyal servant to the Dark Master.

Draco's hand was placed on the smooth porcelain. The two stood in silence, the ticking of the clock growing louder as it closed in on the last few moments before they would be transported to Voldemort.  
He took one last gulp of air before it felt as if he were being yanked through the nasal to the destination.

He gasped for breath and tried not to show the ache in his head when their feet landed on firm ground. His father caught Draco's arm, not permitting him to stumble. He was a Malfoy, and a Malfoy never lost his balance.  
He straightened his robes and looked around, robes covering the faces of everyone amongst them.

"Do not look a single one of them in the eyes, boy. If you do, there will be consequences," Lucius hissed. He led Draco slowly to the figure waiting in the shadows.   
They were in some sort of strange area. It looked like a clearing in the woods… dead woods. It was as if all life had been stripped from it or burned out of it. He stumbled through ash that made his throat burn. Debris was everywhere. The smell was nauseating…  
He saw a pale and stiff hand sticking up from the ashes. He grimaced and then stared at his feet, thankful for the hood that hid his discomfort.

All of a sudden, being here and in the presence of Voldemort, he wasn't as excited. All he had heard were stories. All he knew was what his father told him. He did not know the true nature or cruelty of Voldemort, and now he was frightened…  
Voldemort could smell the fear.

When Malfoy saw the man that cast fear into the hearts of every living witch and wizard of the world, he trembled. Red eyes bulged from his head on which the skin was pulled too tight. Slit nostrils flared as he inhaled the aroma of his fear. His hands were long, bony. They seemed to be claws or talons and were flexing and stretching as if suppressing the urge to strangle anyone about him.  
A familiar man huddled beside him, sniffling and breathing rapidly. He was overweight and disgusting looking, filth that was not worthy to be stuck to the bottom of their shoes. He had a strange hand, large and strong looking.  
That must be Peter Pettigrew… or Wormtail if you prefer.

"Malfoy… did you bring the boy?" Voldemort hissed. Just his voice caused nausea to fill Draco's stomach.

"Yes, my lord," Lucius whispered before falling to his knees in worship of his lord. Draco fell to his knee, more out of fear than respect.

"All, here my words!" Voldemort called out into the ash-covered area. Heads turned and everyone fell to their knees in a whoosh, mumbling their worship and loyalty to Voldemort.  
He looked down at Draco. Draco could feel his eyes though he stared at the ground. Judgment was being passed. His breathing was rapid and fear and adrenaline raced through his veins, as he had never felt before.  
He didn't like the feeling. 

"Malfoy, you said the boy was willing!" Voldemort hissed.

"He is, my lord. He will be your most faithful servant, you're most loyal follower…"

"Be silent! There is nothing but doubt and fear in this boy's heart!" Voldemort screamed in anger. Lucius shuddered away from Voldemort. Draco squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the tears. How could he have been so foolish? He was just a boy. He was a stupid boy who had been fascinated by stories… he knew nothing real.

"Forgive me, My Lord… I was misled…" Lucius begged for forgiveness, shooting icy glares at Draco's hunched figure.

"You will pay for your arrogance and stupidity, Malfoy," Voldemort hissed. "Crucio!" he snarled. Draco's ears were filled with his father's pain and screams. Draco stumbled to a stand, seeing his father thrashing and screaming around in the air.

"Leave him alone!" Draco screamed at Voldemort. He lowered his wand and Lucius fell to the ground, groaning in pain.

"You dare defy me, boy?"

Draco stood there, anger boiling in him. Voldemort snickered triumphantly.

"You have bravery and skill… I offer you the chance to have ultimate power, young Malfoy. Accept my offer! Join me!" Voldemort commanded. Draco froze. What would he say? Would he put himself up for the risk of being tortured just as his father had?

"Accept him, Draco, or you will no longer be my son," Lucius hissed, his breath ragged. Draco stared at his father. If his father was willing to go through so much pain just to cause pain, then he wasn't strong. He was weak.

"No, I do not accept," Draco mumbled. Voldemort let out a screech of anger and raised his wand, intending to kill Draco. Draco turned and ran from Voldemort.

"KILL HIM!" Voldemort screamed as he dodged about the cloaked characters. Claws dug into him and he listened to them take out their wands. He shoved them aside.  
If he could make it into the woods… he could survive if he could just make it into the woods…

There was no curse screamed into the night. Instead, something almost as lethal happened. He felt something that felt like pure fire plunge into his back and drag down, tearing and ripping him apart. He let out a terrified and pained shriek as the knife tore his back open.  
He collapsed to the ground, breathing heavily. He listened to the Death Eaters bow, crouching as Voldemort approached him. Sweat beaded his forehead and he felt cold… but the pain was fading… his body was going numb…

"You will pay for your denial and the toil you have caused, boy," Voldemort sneered and raised his wand. Draco watched as he opened his mouth and intended to scream those fatal words that had killed so many people… Harry's parents… Cedric Diggory…  
Then, Voldemort let out a pained yelp.

"Get out of my head, Potter!" he snarled and his hands shot up to his temples. Draco opened his eyes wide… he knew this was his chance. If Voldemort wasn't concentrating…

He closed his eyes and pictured his parent's bedroom perfectly… pictured his mother sitting at her dresser and doing her make up as she prepared for the nice dinner Lucius had been planning in celebration of his son joining the Dark Master…

With a loud pop he snapped out of the ashen graveyard where countless people were buried beneath them before Voldemort even realized that he had let his guard down.

He arrived in his parents' bedroom, his mother letting off a terrified scream.

"Draco!" she screamed out. "Oh in the name of Merlin, you're bleeding!" she screamed.

"Help… mother… father… and Voldemort… after me…" he whispered, beginning to convulse in spasms of pain searing his body. She nodded and pulled her wand from her dress, touching him with it. The pain subsided and he gasped in relief.

"Draco, that won't completely heal it… just speeds up the process. I do not know enough advanced magic to help you… but my dear boy please apparate to somewhere safe! Get out of here before they find you!" he nodded and closed his eyes, picturing hundreds of places of where he could go…

"And Draco?" she asked.

"Yes, Mother?" he responded as he finally decided it would be best if he went to the Leaky Cauldron to find help.

"I love you," she whispered and he smiled as there was a loud crack and he disappeared from his mother's arms…

Draco sighed sadly. In the Leaky Cauldron he had found help from, surprisingly, Arthur Weasley. He made the man swear that he would tell no one of what happened and the man had kept his word.  
Still, for what happened he hated Potter and the Weasley's more than anything now. They had saved his life, and for it he was in their debt. He was in the debt of Boy Wonder whose stupid scar had saved him and the Weasels' father who was just too stupid and caring for his own good.  
There was a knock on his door and he smiled, expecting to see Hermione standing there.  
He ran up to the door and opened it, a bright smile on his face… only to see Professor McGonagall. He frowned.

"What is it, Professor?" he asked. Tears were in her eyes and her lips were trembling. He went pale and knew what was wrong before she even spoke the words.

"Mr. Malfoy… there's been an accident…"


	23. Chapter XXIII

**Memo: This is it. This is the chapter you've all been painfully waiting for. I could blab on but just enjoy Memo at the end of this as well.**

Malfoy burst into Dumbledore's office, anger and fear and pain in his eyes. Ginny, Harry, and Ron all sat there already. Tears were burning angrily in Draco's eyes as he stood there, looking at Professor Dumbledore with cold hate.  
Tears stained the student's faces. 

"What the bloody hell is going on? What happened to Hermione? Where is she? Tell me!" Draco shouted, his breathing rapid and angry. Everyone was silent, waiting for his outburst to end.

"It was my fault… I got her worked up… I fought with her… she was fine until…" Ron whispered with his lip trembling. He buried his face in his hands and his shoulders shook as he tried to suppress his sobs.

"You son of a…" Draco started and lunged at Ron.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said. Draco found himself unable to continue his attack on Ron. He strained to try to attack, but found it worthless. When he just wanted to step away, he was allowed to. He just stood there shooting venomous glares at the dirty Weasel.

"Please Professor… please tell us what's wrong with Hermione," Ginny pleaded. They all waited for his answer. He looked from face to face and then gave a sad sigh. The twinkle was missing from the depth of their blue.

"Miss Granger is a very ill young woman, as I think you've all realized," he started. He stood and paced around quietly, running his hands along the many books on the shelves. "Each book is like a person in itself, you know. It has it's own story to tell. It has secrets scrawled beneath covers and meaning hidden in the words. Miss Granger is indeed the thickest and most complex book ever opened," he said.

"Professor Dumbledore, I apologize for being rude but could you please stop with metaphors and similes and just tell us what's wrong with her?" Harry asked, his eyes brimmed with tears and red from rubbing at them continually.  
Dumbledore sighed and the four of them waited expectantly for an answer.

"As you all seem to know, she is not going to live very long. It was predicted that she would survive another two months, but apparently the process has quickened," he said simply, sadness in his voice. 

"Two months!" Ginny cried out as tears began to spill ever more heavily from her eyes. "You can't take her away from us!" she sobbed.  
Dumbledore sighed sadly.

"Both muggle doctors and magical healers have tried to heal her, but there is no way to save her without killing her in one way or another," he said.

"What is it? What's killing her?" Draco demanded to know. Dumbledore looked at all of the expectant faces and continued sadly.

"Miss Granger has a tumour, mostly located below the crown of her head," he explained and placed a hand right above his neck. Ginny cried out in horror. "Ronald, you saw the stitches. Over the summer, muggle doctors attempted to remove the brain tumour. It decreased its size, but there was no way to remove all of it without forcing her into a coma or completely destroying all physical and mental capabilities. We all know that there is no such thing as a Hermione Granger who knows nothing and has nothing to say," he said with a sad smile.  
Harry hid his eyes with his hand and Ron hugged himself tightly. Ginny sat there with tears streaming down her face as she made choking sounds.

"There has to be some sort of magical remedy!" Draco demanded angrily.

"No, I'm afraid not. After the surgery it seems that the tumour continued to grow. It developed in a way where the brain is actually depending on it to hold it together. It is part of her brain. Without the tumour, there is no Hermione. With the tumour, she can at least be with us for a little longer," he said sadly.

"So there's literally nothing anyone can do?" Draco asked, all the breath escaping from his lungs. He slowly sat down on the floor, the blood rushing to his head and dizzying him.

"No, Mr. Malfoy, there is something you can do," he said. All four looked at him hopefully, the tears still falling. "You can make her last days with us the best possible. It's the best anyone can do," Professor Dumbledore said. He slowly ushered them out of the office. "She will be returning late this evening from St. Mungo's. I recommend acting as if nothing is wrong. She went this long without telling you because she was afraid that you'd treat her differently. She just wanted to be normal. Please, fulfill her last wish. Good day, all," he said in a goodbye as the gargoyle slid shut. The four of them stood in the middle of the corridor.

"This isn't right," Harry whispered.

"You can say that again," Malfoy mumbled and began to pace about.

"I blame you, Malfoy," Ron sneered out of nowhere.

"What did I do? I didn't get her sick!" Draco snapped at him. "You were the one who caused her to pass out and fall down the stairs!" he challenged.

"You stole her away from us! If you hadn't been manipulating her then maybe she would have spent more time with us!" Ron shouted.

"You're just jealous she preferred to be with me than with you, you pathetic Weasel!" Malfoy snarled. Ron let out an angry cry and threw his hands in the air overdramatically, rampaging about.

"What does she see in you? Why does she want you?" Ron hissed at Draco menacingly. Draco challenged him, his expression solid and his silver eyes unfaltering.

"Because I didn't pry into her business. Because I treated her the same as I had before I found out about her sickness. Because I still fought with her despite the fact she was sick. Because around me, things were most normal," Draco growled. Ron shook his head, not believing a word.

"Normal around you? Normal would be her despising you, and instead she's in love with you!" he snapped. Draco took a step back, taken by surprise at Ron's words. "Don't try to deny it, Malfoy. I can see it in the way that she looks at you and in the way she talks about you! She's always thinking about you! Why did she choose you, Malfoy? Why couldn't she have chosen me?" Ron asked angrily.

"I… I…" Draco stuttered, unsure of what to say for once in his entire life.

"Don't play innocent, Malfoy. I would be there for her through thick and thin and death… but you, you will just run away the moment things get too hard. You will just run away as soon as you're frightened. We both know what I mean," Ron said, challenging him with his eyes.  
Draco paled. 

"This is why she didn't choose you, Weasley," Draco said quietly, affected in a way that Harry and Ginny didn't understand. "When you're angry you pick out a person's most vulnerable memory or feeling and you tear it apart. You think I'm evil? Look in the mirror, and I think you'll be surprised at the character you see staring back," Draco hissed and turned on one heel, leaving the three of them speechless in the corridor.

"I'm not through with you, Malfoy!" Ron called after him as Malfoy walked away with dignity.

"I didn't think you were, Weasley. You never did know when enough was enough," he said and disappeared around a corner.

"What was that all about?" Harry demanded to know. Ron looked at his best friend sadly.

"Secrets, Harry. That's all anything is ever about."

**Memo: The reason why I decided to "give" Hermione a tumour in her brain rather than any other part of her body (I was considering heart but decided to pass on that. I think if I were to give another character cancer in the heart it would have to be Draco) is because she uses it to its full extent. To have something like that taken from her and especially her would practically be the end of the world because Hermione just wouldn't be Hermione.**

**I also decided on a tumour rather than any other disease is because I don't think people realize the impact unless someone in their lives is affected. Maybe with this BREIF outlook on what a tumour can do some people will be more considerate (hopefully -.- You better be or else)**


	24. Chapter XXIV

**Memo: Now THIS is the half way point. Exactly on it. I'm going to wait for a couple of reviews and a decent amount of hits so I know everyone knows I'm still alive and then I'll start the next chapter which will a bit different involving some un-magical folk that wizards call muggles. Everything will eventually connect and you'll have a nice decent length story and if J.K.R didn't own Harry Potter I'd certainly try and publish it... But seeing she does... I'll just have to write my own :P**

She saw it as hell. With towers looming and stretching into the sky as if they went on forever and massive gates blocking her entrance, she knew that what lay beyond those doors was not something that would make her smile.  
She remembered what the healers had told her. 

Two weeks.

Her body trembled and tears tried to take control of her fragile person, but she inhaled deeply and ground her teeth together. She should be thankful for whatever time she had. She knew she should write letters to her parents. She should tell them that she loved them, and not to come to Hogwarts. That she wouldn't be able to bear seeing them so sad.  
Her shoulders shook violently at the thought of her parents never embracing her again.  
The tumour in her head was rapidly growing, squeezing, and pulsing like some sort of evil monster. It would slowly kill her brain. It would slowly kill her.

"Are you alright, Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall asked as she slipped a bony and shaky hand on Hermione's trembling shoulder. Hermione looked up at her sadly.

"You always were my favourite Professor," Hermione said with a smile. Tears filled the aging woman's eyes and she wrapped her long thing arms around the younger girl tightly. Her body shuddered with tears as she held the dying girl in her arms. She was so weak and fragile. She looked as if just the lightest of winds would blow her away.

"It'll be alright," Hermione assured the woman. She nodded and straightened her robes and her pointed hat, cleaned her glasses and then perched them once again on the high bridge of her nose. Her eyes flickered over Hermione sadly one last time before her cool exterior took over and she was once again impassive.

"The students have not been informed of your condition, Miss Granger. That is, no student except for the Mr. and Miss Weasley, Mr. Potter, and Mr. Malfoy," Professor McGonagall told her as they opened the doors to the silent castle. It was the middle of the night. No one except for Prefects would be wandering about at this time.  
Then again, she couldn't be too sure about Ron or Harry, she thought with a shadow of a smile.

"How much do they know?" Hermione asked sadly, not quite caring that they had found out. She wished she could have told them herself before she had fainted and taken that nasty tumble down the stairs. 

"Everything, except for…"

"When I'm going to die," Hermione whispered sadly and Professor McGonagall snapped her jaw shut with an audible chomp, awkward at the topic of conversation.   
She slowly began to walk up the Grand Staircase, McGonagall close behind her. Hermione looked back at her awkwardly and the elderly woman sighed loudly.

"I'm sorry, but you are to have someone with you at all times in case of another… accident," she said with a shrug. "I will assign you an escort…."

"Can I choose my own escorts?" Hermione asked hopefully. McGonagall looked unsure, furrowing her thin and high-arched eyebrows.

"It depends on whom you're speaking of," she said sceptically. Hermione sighed.

"I was thinking Draco, Harry, Ron, and Ginny. I mean over all I see at least one of them at all times," she said with a shrug. Professor McGonagall sighed loudly.

"I'm still not too thrilled over this newfound relationship you and Mr. Malfoy have developed," she said with a shake of her head. Hermione bit her lip anxiously.

"But Professor, he and I are just friends. If you hadn't threatened us with losing our Head Boy/Girl privileges, then I suppose that he and I would have killed one another by now," she said with a shrug. "So technically our friendship is because of you, Professor. Don't you think that disapproving now would be just a bit hypocritical?"  
McGonagall's eyes narrowed and she didn't answer. They arrived at the portrait of Sir Bentley, who was snoozing quietly. They woke him up and he let them in after they stated the password, him still being half-asleep. 

"Good night, Miss Granger," McGonagall bid her before transforming into a cat right in front of her and scampering off into the dark depths of the corridor.  
The portrait closed and she was shut in the dark. She turned and slowly trudged towards the Common Room, wondering what awaited her.  
Everything was dark as she tip toed through the room. She bit her lip nervously. Moonlight filtered in through the windows and made shadows dance eerily across the wooden floor.

"Hermione?" a voice asked. She froze as a body shot into a sitting position on the couch, a blanket falling from his chest. The moonlight licked across his face and she sighed when she saw Malfoy sitting there. The moon illuminated his eyes and tearstains were just barely dried on his perfect and flawless skin. 

"Draco," she whispered in a half cry. He leapt up from the couch and rushed towards her, enveloping her in his arms. She disappeared in his firm grasp and let herself melt against his broad chest. His body shuddered the sobs he wouldn't let escape his lips. 

"Oh god, I'm never letting you out of my arms again. Every time you leave them you fall down a set of stairs or something," he said and kissed her forehead sweetly. She giggled and pressed her hot head against his cool skin.

Draco had taken one look at her when she had stepped in and knew how bad things had gotten. Dark rings made her sad eyes stick out. Her hair was tucked up and off of her neck and shoulders and hidden beneath a bandanna, just a few long locks falling across her forehead. He could barely see the bandages beneath the cloth she wore tied around her head. She was so small and fragile, and she looked as if she were going to snap and break down right there. He knew he had to hold her and support her or she would have crumbled right in front of him. 

"I don't know what I would have done without you, Malfoy," she mumbled and held him even tighter. He ignored the cold pang he felt when she used his last name instead of his first. She had been referring to him as that for the past six years… it would take a little time for her to adjust to his first name.

"Do you want to go to bed?" He asked. She nodded and yawned.

"I'm just so tired," she whispered and tears filled her eyes slowly. He reached up and brushed them away gently with a small smile. She beamed up at him and then let out a little yelp as he lifted her into his arms as if she weighed nothing. He began to head towards her bedroom.

"No," she whispered and placed a trembling hand on his firm chest. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at her. "I want to go to yours," she said and a blush crept rapidly into her neck and cheeks and she adverted her eyes. He smiled down at her and said nothing, just changed direction and headed for his own bedroom. 

He walked in through the still dark and then slipped her under the covers. She lay there perfectly still as she felt him remove her shoes and slip the robes off of her shoulders. He made no move to undress her any further, just simply slipped under the covers beside her. She crawled towards his warm body and wrapped herself around him. Her face was resting on his chest and she listened to the firm, steady beat of his heart. She smiled and planted a subtle kiss on the gentle curve of his chest.  
He wrapped his arms around her and she smiled. He was the one she wanted to carry her away to a better place. He was the one she wanted to make everything better. 

"I just want you to hold me," Hermione whispered and he held her so firmly and tightly that she broke down in quiet sobs, muffling her tears against his chest. Her body shuddered and trembled, and she held onto him in desperation.

"Then I'll never let you go," he mumbled and pressed his lips gently against her temple.

"You're my slithering ferret," she giggled. He laughed.

"And you're my mud…" he stopped, frozen in horror at what he almost said. "And you're just plainly mine," he corrected himself quickly and held her even closer. She sighed.

"What's going on between us?" she mumbled. "Just a few weeks ago you were on the train calling me a mudblood and making my blood boil with hatred," she whispered. "And I did the same to you," she added guiltily. He shook his head.

"Hermione… I suppose… I suppose there's something you should know. You're not the only one who has secrets… and not the only one who had a hell of a summer," he said quietly.  
She looked up into his eyes and he looked at her sadly and told his story. Tears filled her eyes and she clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle her sobs of pity. This caused his eyes to fill with tears at the memory. His scar burn and throbbed in pain as he told her about the knife ripping apart his back.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" she asked in a half whisper.

"The same reason you didn't tell anyone. I didn't want their pity," Malfoy said in a husk voice and stared deep into her eyes. Their full-moon-on-the-water depth entranced her and she leaned in towards him… closing in…  
Her lips brushed gently against his, in the first kiss that meant more than physical attraction. It was the first kiss they shared that had nothing to do with painkiller's side effects.  
It was the first mutual kiss, gentle like a feather dancing across your skin, but erupting with more love and compassion than any two people ever shared on earth.   
He pulled away and looked at her. Her eyes were glossed over and a small smile was on her face.

"You asked me what you meant to me…" she started and bit her lip. He nodded, not answering her. "I think the question really should be what you don't mean to me. Ask me," she demanded quietly.

"What don't I mean to you?" he asked. She smiled at him.

"There's nothing that you don't mean to me, Draco," she answered. He smiled at her brightly and she blushed. "I know its corny and not romantic or anything, but I have a brain tumour I'm not exactly fit for complex…"

"Shut up and kiss me," Draco mumbled and then pressed his lips against hers fervently. The two of them wrapped around each other and held on to one another, kissing like no one had ever been kissed before.

They wished that they could stay in that moment forever.

And as their lips danced and the light of the full moon shone in through the small window, Draco silently vowed that he wouldn't let Hermione go… he wouldn't let her die…

He swore that they'd have a million moments just like this, for the rest of their lives.


	25. Chapter XXV

**Memo: Well thanks for all the reviews and comments. Read them all, probably replied to hardly any but that's just who I am.**

**Anyway, I met an average person on the net, who is writing a book called "Regnum Resurrection" **** So if you don't mind go visit her: http://kossmoe.deviantart(dot)com (Which also has brilliant art), ****And leave me a private review so I can forward it onto her or if you already have a deviantart account go comment on her homepage.  
**

**Hopefully the story will be moving on now, you'll be introduced to a couple of characters who will play a part in the plot.**

* * *

At the exact same time that Draco and Hermione were talking about how Hermione meant everything to Draco on the night before she fell down the stairs, Benjamin Harris sat in his large armchair, wearing the same clothes as he had for the past several days. His beard was unshaved and scratchy, his eyes bloodshot and swollen. His thinning hair seemed almost completely gone in the dim light of the den. He sniffled and rubbed at his eyes.  
In his hands was a glass of bourbon. He swirled it around and listened to the ice chink noisily against the glass sides. He let out a shaky breath and rattled the ice even louder. He squinted against the tears and let out a strangled sob before getting control of his emotions once more. 

This wasn't fair. This wasn't right. No one deserved such a fate. No one deserved to be eaten alive by an illness they had no control over… he tilted the glass back and swallowed the burning liquid hungrily, wishing to numb the pain and stop the endless flow of tears.

"Dad?" a voice asked from the doorway into the den. Benjamin's eyes were itchy and he rubbed at them. He placed his spectacles on the bridge of his nose and then looked at his youngest son, who was sixteen years old.

"Hey Billy," he said and felt the bourbon gurgle in his stomach and burn his throat. He gave his son a watery smile. "Come on over," he said and patted the arm of his chair.  
The young blonde man with incredible green/blue eyes and a bright smile had a look of sadness on him as he approached his drunken father.

"Dad, please don't drink," Billy pleaded as his father stood and picked up a large bottle. The liquid poured over the rattling ice. He filled it to the brim and then sipped it down so he could carry it back to his seat.

"Why not? Why can't I drink? My son will never again taste the fine quality of this bourbon. I am doing this in his honour!" Benjamin cried out and then gulped at his beverage, it spilling over the sides of his mouth and wetting his shirt.

"Dad, we don't know if Nathan is going to react to chemo or not," Billy told his father reassuringly. "He can still pull through," he added. Tears burned at his eyes. His brother, Nathaniel Harris, twenty-four years old, was dying of leukaemia.  
Nathan the great wizard. He had been a Prefect at Hogwarts. He had graduated with top marks. He had just been qualified to become an Auror when the cancer made itself known in his system.

"My boy, this is a punishment. I have been a sinful man and god is telling me this by taking away my son," he said and rubbed at his eyes again and then cursing wildly at the smallest amount of alcohol that got into them.

"Dad! You need to stop blaming yourself. It's no one's fault that Nathan has cancer," Billy told him.

"Don't say that cursed word!" Benjamin shouted and then drowned his pain in the final swallow of bourbon. In a rush of anger he chucked the glass at the wall and it shattered to pieces, tinkling noisily on the floor.

"Accept it! He has CANCER! He is DYING! You drowning yourself in self-pity and alcohol aren't going to save him, Dad! Being there for him, being optimistic, and being his family will!" Billy snapped at his father. Tears filled the older man's eyes and he buried his face in his hands and cried silently. He did not want his son to see him in this state of mind.

"I can't help him… what's the point of being a doctor when you can't even help your own SON!" Benjamin cried out. Billy shook his head.

"Dad, you're a great doctor. You're one of the best! But leukaemia has nothing to do with neurology," Billy whispered shakily. "You've saved so many lives… why not let someone else save your son's? Don't you think that countless other fathers have felt this way when you operated on their children?"  
Benjamin collapsed into his chair.

"I just hope that bloody wizard hospital can do something for him," he muttered. Billy smiled confidently.

"I'm sure that they can, Dad. In fact, I'm nearly positive," he said quietly. Benjamin nodded as his eyes slowly rolled up into the back of his head. He tried to stay conscious, but the bourbon was taking its toll on the older man who had very low tolerance for alcohol. He was a doctor who did not believe in drinking, but circumstances had changed.  
Billy sighed and placed a blanket over his father as he began to snore quite loudly. He quietly swept up the broken glass and threw it away. He left his father to sleep off the alcohol in the end.  
Closing the door he headed into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and folded his arms, resting his hot head on the clammy skin of his forearms.  
Ginny would have helped him. She would have comforted him. She would have wrapped her arms around him tightly and told him that everything would be all right. She would kiss away his tears and he would inhale her sweet scent and stroke her beautiful red hair.  
But when he found out about his brother's cancer, there was just too much for him to handle. Going to school, dealing with the illness, helping his father cope, and just plainly coping was hard enough. He couldn't handle being dutiful and caring to a girl god knows how many miles away. There was just too much going on, and he didn't need to drag her into it.

He missed his mother. She had been taken away from him when he was just a small boy. She had lung cancer that had slowly developed over the many years of chain smoking. His father would not have been able to deal with losing two of the people he loved most to cancer. If Nathan died, Benjamin Harris would no longer be Billy's father. He'd be a hollowed out and numb shell, constantly relieving his sorrows by guzzling down alcohol and taking out his frustration on the glasses that he smashed and possibly even Billy.

He crept upstairs slowly. He was dreading this. He was dreading seeing Nathan. But still, he slowly opened up the door to his brother's room.  
Nathan sat at his desk, flipping through a booklet of something. His shaved head made Billy cringe. He used to have a thick head of incredible dark hair, just like his mother. Now his scalp was pale and smooth. It was all because of chemo.

"Hey Nathan," Billy smiled and walked inside. Nathan turned around in his computer chair and smiled at his little brother.

"Hey Billy. How's dad?" he asked. "I heard you two shouting… about me," he added slowly. Billy sighed and nodded.

"He's… sleeping," Billy answered slowly. Nathan knew it meant that their father was unconscious, but still said nothing. He looked so exhausted, Billy noted. Dark circles were under his eyes and he was so pale compared to usual. He had been Billy's role model for so long. He had been smart, handsome, athletic, and the nicest guy he had ever met. Now the cancer was slowly killing him and Billy could see that the spark of life that had once been there was slowly dimming.

"Yea… he's been doing that a lot lately," Nathan laughed awkwardly. "Come here, I want you to see something," he said. Billy walked over to Nathan and at the small book he had. "My friends from school all heard about me, so they made a collection of memories and of the future," he sighed. Billy cocked his head at first, and when he saw the photographs he smiled.  
He loved everything that had to do with magic and envied his brother endlessly for his gift.

Billy saw photographs of his brother throughout his many years at Hogwarts, with friends and professors. He smiled at pictures of Nathan wrestling with his friends. There were more pictures of those friends all grown up, some of them married with children, and they were all waving brightly at Nathan and Billy.  
Billy sighed loudly.

"You have some pretty great friends," Billy mused. Nathan nodded and took a pencil in his hands. He began to twirl it about, and then he rapidly tapped the eraser against his cheek.

"Yea they do have their moments. We have that appointment tomorrow at St. Mungo's, right?" he asked. Billy nodded. "They'll be able to make me better, Billy. Don't you question it," he said with a reassuring nod. Billy clenched his teeth together and squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the tears back.

"I'm… I'm going to bed. Good night, Nathan," he said and turned, walking out of the room to let the dying boy bask in the glorious memories of school years.

"Hey Billy?"

"Yea?"

"I love you, little bro," Nathan said sincerely. Billy gave his brother a watery smile.

"Love you too," he said and then rushed from the room, into his own bedroom, and threw himself down on his bed and began to cry


	26. Chapter XXVI

**My friend was browsing to read my story and she found the User: Rose-is-Red-23-Snow-is-White posting 'A Secret Thought' On her account. Please note that is NOT me and to prove that I've written this story before I will post the next 4 chapters up. I have been extremely busy and just do not have the time to write fanfiction anymore. Hopefully when school concludes I can continue posting this or start writing my own novella.**

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Billy and Benjamin Harris sat in the waiting room as Nathan was taken away from them for treatment. They were assured that they did indeed have a cure for leukemia, but there wasnt a one hundred percent guarantee that he would react to it. They sat there in silence. Benjamin was constantly rubbing his temples, the throbbing pain making his eyes water.  
He really didn't like hangovers, and the blinding white light of the wizard hospital wasn't exactly helping either.

"You okay?" Billy asked and touched his dad's forearm. Benjamin nodded and waved it off as if it were nothing. Billy clenched his hands into fists nervously. They had been informed that it would take all afternoon to administer the treatment, and he and his father weren't leaving without Nathan at their side.  
So they were doomed to boredom and anxiety for the rest of the day.

Or, that's what Billy thought until doors burst open eagerly.

Healers were surrounding a body that lay stiff and floated in mid air. They were shouting nonsensical things at one another. Things about curses and enchantments, potions and rituals and strange medical terms... it was all foreign and complex to Billy.

"Poor girl," his father muttered. Billy shot a glance to his father. Benjamin shrugged. "I'm a neurologist, Billy. Everything they said to you may sound like a foreign language to you, but to me it's my native tongue," he said with a small smirk.

"What was wrong with her?" Billy asked and leaned back in his chair. Benjamin sighed and scratched as his freshly shaven chin.

"Well, in lamest terms she has a massive and complex tumor weaving throughout her brain. Apparently it was expanding because of something and she blacked out and toppled down a set of stairs," he said and rubbed at his eyes and then his temples.  
Billy frowned. He stood and decided to follow the group of Healers that were still noisily rushing down the hall.

"I'm going to go check it out," he said. Benjamin frowned.

"I wouldn't recommend it."

"If you woke up alone and frightened in a strange place, wouldn't you want someone there to assure you that everything was alright?" Billy asked. Benjamin frowned.

"I would, but not a complete stranger, son! Her parents..."

"If her parents were coming then they would have already been here, don't you think?" Billy asked stubbornly. "Anyways, doctors are complete strangers..."

"Don't be sneaking in anywhere, Billy. If you're allowed to see her then you may, but otherwise just keep your distance," Benjamin muttered and squeezed his eyes shut and rested his head against the back wall. "I'm going to see if they serve coffee here... just hope I don't get lost..." he muttered and stood, leaving.  
Billy sighed and chased after the Healers who had taken a sharp right. He turned that corner and saw them nowhere. He peeked into the windows of several doors, and then found the particular one with a familiar Healer who had skin the color of an orange... it was one of the Healers who had been bringing her in.  
He waited outside the door patiently. It seemed to go on forever.  
Then, a group of Healers were leaving.

"Excuse me?" Billy asked. They looked him up and down slowly. The one with the Orange skin and the green eyebrows cocked his head and placed his hands firmly on his hips.

"What do you need, young man?"

"That girl in there... she's my girlfriend. Am I allowed to go in and see her?" Billy asked, feigning the sadness and lying through clenched teeth. Orange-guy looked skeptical.

"That depends... do you know what's wrong with her?" he asked.  
Billy nodded.

"Yes, sir. She has a massive and complex tumor in her brain. She was over-stressed at school and she fell down the stairs. Please could I see her?" Billy asked once more. One of the other Healers nodded to the Orange-guy.  
They held the door open for Billy to walk inside.  
He stepped in and saw the poor girl, lying unconscious on the cot. She had thick curly light brown hair and very pale skin. She looked exhausted though she was out cold. She had that look of someone who had lost a lot of weight throughout a short period of time. He knew this look because his brother had the exact same thing.

He walked to the edge of the bed and looked at her chart. It was filled with a bunch of mumbo jumbo that he didn't understand.  
What he did understand was the personal information at the top.

Granger, Hermione. Age: 17

It went on to say height, weight, and blood pressure and what not, but those didn't matter. That name, Hermione Granger, seemed incredibly familiar. He couldn't remember where he had heard it before.  
He reached out and took her hand in his. It was small and clammy, but she returned the pressure.

"Malfoy?" she mumbled. He said nothing, just squeezed her hand even tighter. Her eyes fluttered open. Her eyes were deep chocolate brown color that had a depth that Billy had never even heard of before. She squinted and groaned at the light. After a moment or two she opened her mouth to speak.

"Who are you?" she croaked.

"My name is Billy Harris," he answered and stroked the soft skin of her hand to comfort her.  
She squinted at him again and a small smile came across her face, though strained.

"Ginny was right, you're really cute," she replied and coughed.  
Billy paled.

"You know Ginny?" the girl nodded.

"She's one of my best friends... could you get me some water?" she asked. He stood and walked to the cup of water resting on a stand.  
He picked it up and brought it to her, tilting it so the water barely touched her lips. She craned her head towards it and the water slowly filled her mouth. "Thank you," she whispered and then twitched in an obvious pain.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I just tumbled down a flight of stairs," she murmured in return. He sighed and leaned back, watching her rest. The back of her head was bandaged heavily, obviously from where she had hit her head on the steps.

"Must not be too well, then," he replied. She looked at him curiously, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Why are you here?" she asked. He shrugged.

"My brother is in treatment right now, and I saw that you had no one to keep you company. My dad's in the middle of a huge hangover and I didn't exactly want to spend time with his crabby self," he replied with a shrug. A small smirk came over Hermione. "What?" he asked.

"I told Ginny that you dumped her for some other reason than what you said. I just highly enjoy being right in my assumptions," she said with a sigh. Billy shook his head.

"Don't tell her that you saw me here... I don't want to be a burden to her," he said guiltily.  
Hermione sighed.

"You know, Billy, sometimes people want to be burdened. I figured that out the hard way," she laughed hoarsely and pointed to her bandaged head. "if I had been honest with my friends since the beginning, we would have never fought and I would have never fainted and fallen down the stairs. Now someone else is going to tell them what's wrong with me and I'm just going to regret everything. I'm going to regret not being the one to tell them," she sighed. Billy was silent for a moment.

"Are you dying?" he finally asked. "Please don't answer if it offends you in any way..." he tried to say, but she raised her hand.

"Muggle doctors told me I'd be dead before term started, but thanks to magical treatment I've last a bit longer. It was supposed to be prolonged for another two months... but only if I didn't have an attack like this one. I suspect that the fall did some serious damage..." she started and trembled. He sighed.

"It's alright," he reassured her. "My brother, Nathan... he has leukemia. He wasn't responding very well to chemo, you know. This is our last chance," he said and ignored the burning feeling of tears in his eyes. She sighed and squeezed his hand tightly.

"He'll pull through. Magic can do incredible things," she said sadly. He nodded, and then looked at her.

"Why can't they help you?" she looked at him sadly and then stared at her left hand, lying remote on her lap.

"Because of the way that the tumor is wound in my brain. It has become sort of like a muscle keeping my brain intact. If the tumor were removed, then the major functions of my brain would be disconnected permanently before there were any chance of reconnecting them," she informed him sadly. He felt tears of pity fill his eyes when he heard this story. Nathan had cancer, and that was bad. Then again he also had a very good chance of pulling through. Here in front of him lay a condemned girl with no escape from her fate. She would die within the next two months. She was a beautiful, sweet, and intelligent seventeen-year-old girl and she would die before she ever had a chance to truly live her life.  
She held his hand even tighter and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Please don't be sad," she whispered and he nodded, quickly rubbing the backs of his hands across his eyes.  
There was a knock on the door.  
The orange-guy stood there looking incredibly said, his thick green eyebrows furrowed deeply.

"Miss Granger, we have some information we'd like to disclose with you. So if the young man here would be so kind..." Billy stood up, ready to leave but Hermione refused to let his hand go.

"Whatever you wish to disclose can be disclosed in front of Billy," she told orange-guy sternly. The Healer looked unsure for a moment and then took a deep breath and began.

"The high levels of adrenaline secreted during your argument with Mr. Weasley acted like a growth serum or steroid for the tumor. It has expanded rapidly to an incredible size within a very short period of time. At the rate it is going, your estimated time of death would be October 16."  
Hermione went pale.

"That's only two weeks," she said with a squeak of a voice, squeezing Billy's hand so tightly he felt as if every bone were snapping. The man nodded and looked at the floor, saddened at Hermione's condition.

He opened his mouth to say more, but Hermione raised her hand and cut him off.

"Pardon my rudeness, but don't tell me. I don't want to know," she said stubbornly. The man nodded and turned, leaving she and Billy alone in the room. She gave him a watery smile.

"Hermione..." he started, but she shook her head.

"I think it would be best for you to go. Thank you for coming to see me. I won't tell Ginny I saw you... but would it be alright if I sent you letters?" she asked sadly. Billy nodded. She smiled at him thankfully. "That would mean a lot... you know... speaking with someone who knows first hand what I'm going through... or close enough... with your brother and all..." she said quietly and then turned, staring sadly out the window.

He stood, turning and leaving quietly. He looked at her one last moment as she stared at the window. The sun filtered through the shades and lit up her face, causing the tears that spilled from her eyes to glisten. He took a sad sigh and left.

It wasn't fair. First Nathan and now Hermione... when would the pain end?


	27. Chapter XXVII

Hermione woke in Draco's bed the next morning. Her memories flashed back to two days earlier when she had actually met Ginnys ex-boyfriend Billy Harris in the hospital room. He had given her comfort when there was no one else there to hold her hand. She had found a friend in him, and was thankful.  
Draco's arm was stretched protectively around her stomach.  
The bottom two buttons of her blouse had been undone, and his bare forearm was pressed firmly against the soft, smooth skin of her stomach. She smiled and reached towards him, gently stroking his incredibly soft hair. She ran a finger along his fine cheekbone. He inhaled deeply and sighed in his sleep.  
She needed to use the bathroom.  
She slowly started to slip from his grasp.

"You're not going anywhere, Granger," Malfoy mumbled sleepily and drew her into towards him, pressing her back against his stomach and curling around her. She loved the feeling of being wrapped in his powerful arms. She sighed and stayed there for a moment.  
She curled her fingers around Draco's firm ones. They were callused and rough, yet still incredibly soft and girl-like. She giggled at the thought that he had never done any work besides dueling and writing essays and such. These were calluses that she had on her own hands. She raised his fingers to her lips and kissed them gently.

"You know that does feel incredibly nice," he mumbled and tried to turn her around.

"Not right now, Malfoy. I need to use the little girls' room," she giggled. He rolled his eyes and lifted his arm up regretfully to let her slide out of bed. "You know I haven't spent a single night in your bed with actual pajamas on?" she asked as she left the room.

"Yes, I do realize that. There are all sorts of things I'd like for you to wear into my bed, too. Let's see... we can start with nothing at all and work our way up," he said with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. She stuck her head back in the door and glared at him but then laughed.

"At least I know what you're dreaming about while you're snoring so peacefully next to me," she called from the bathroom. He listened to the pills rattle in their bottles and frowned.

"Well it is a very entertaining dream, you know," he said quirkily and stretched out in bed. She didn't answer and his joints creaked and cracked and he smiled as he relaxed his muscles.  
She came back into the room, still wearing her clothes and with what he assumed fresher breath.

"You know, Granger, there's no point in making yourself decent when I'm just going to ravish you," he said with a smirk as he hopped out of bed and wrapped his arms around her waist playfully. She giggled and placed her hands gently on his bare chest.

"Malfoy, I swear if you even try to touch me..."

"You'll kiss me senseless?" he offered helpfully. She fluttered and eyelashes and licked her lips seductively.

"Who knows?" she asked. He dove in for a kiss, deep and playful and beautiful all at once. She pressed up against him and smiled into his lips. It couldn't have been more perfect.  
He broke away, looking devilish and charming. He walked backwards and then lay back on the bed.

"Let the kissing begin!" he laughed. Much to his surprise with a squeal of happiness Hermione rushed at him and hopped on him. He scooted up higher on the bed, enjoying this game. Malfoy flipped her over and lay firmly on top of her, kissing her gently and sweetly. It was Hermione who wrapped her arms even tighter around his neck and deepened the kiss, loving him every second.

Hermione loved the feeling of Malfoy's body pressing on top of her. She felt safe and protected sandwiched between Malfoy's silky skin and Malfoy's silky sheets

"You taste minty fresh," Draco laughed into her mouth, hoping to ease the intensity between them. She ignored the comment and continued to kiss him, rubbing her hands over his broad shoulders and along the firm bones and muscles in his back. She slipped her hands down and began to play with the drawstring of his pants...

"Hermione, no," Draco hissed and pulled back, pulling her hands away. She furrowed her eyebrows, confused.

"What's wrong Draco? Aren't up to it yet?" she giggled and leaned in and kissed him again. Everything seemed all right as they held one another and kissed intensely.  
Then Hermione flipped Draco over and kissed him wildly and desperately. She ran her hands down again...

"Hermione!" Draco snapped and pulled away. She sat up, still straddling him. He had to admit she was just about the most beautiful he had ever seen. His eyes scanned over her and met her intense chocolate eyes... and then the bandage on the back of her head from her accident just the day before.

"Draco, I want you," she whispered and leaned back down, trying to kiss him. Draco fulfilled her wish for just a moment, but she was so desperate. He felt a cold tear fall from her eye and land on his cheek.

"Hermione, no," he said again. In a burst of frustration he flipped her over, pinning her beneath him. He pinned her wrists down on the bed. His weight on top of her made her helpless. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I... said... no!" he told her sternly before backing away and letting her up. She scrambled into a sitting position on one of the pillows, tears falling silently from her eyes. "Why are you acting this way?" he asked stubbornly. He reached out for her but she recoiled from his touch, ashamed.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.  
Draco frowned.

"There's no need to be sorry," he reassured her.

"Draco, I have two weeks! Just two weeks! Then I'm going to die! Do you understand that? Dead! That means I can't kiss you, hold you, or even think of you! I can't even want you! I'm going to leave you here to feel god knows what!" she sobbed uncontrollably. "I just wanted you to have a part of me that no one else ever had... I just wanted... I want you to think of me... I want you to remember me..." she whispered and covered her burning face with her hands, crying.   
He crawled over to her, holding her in his arms.

"I'll always remember you. Just because I joke about having sex doesn't mean that's all that I want from you... you're everything to me, remember?" he asked. She nodded.

"I feel so stupid," she giggled.  
Draco shrugged.

"Well just so you know, I thought you were pretty much the most gorgeous woman I've ever had the _extreme _pleasure of meeting," he said coyly. She giggled and rolled her eyes.  
There was an urgent knocking on the door outside. Hermione sighed and rushed out of Draco's room and towards the door.

"Hermione! Open up! God, please open up!" a voice pleaded with her urgently. Hermione opened up the door. Harry rushed inside, tears in his incredible jade green eyes.

"Harry! What's wrong?" she cried out and placed her hands on his shoulders. He looked at her and the tears began to fall.

"It's all my fault... oh god... oh god I've done something terrible... Hermione I've killed him..."


	28. Chapter XXVIII

Harry had a secret. Of course Harry had a secret. He was Harry Potter.

What no one knew was that seeing as Hermione was in quite an awful state, Harry Potter stayed quiet.  
The guilt about what had happened to Sirius was boiling up inside slowly. It was building up. Every night his dreams were filled with horrible nightmares where Sirius was murdered in various ways, and Harry had just stood there helpless.  
He had woken up crying every night.  
Since he found out about Hermione's illness, it had been even worse...

_A few of them were still battling, and most of them were unaware that Albus Dumbledore had just arrived to help them. Harry watched as he fought off the Death Eaters. He stood with Neville and his eyes flickered over to Sirius Black, his godfather, the man that he had meant to be his savior.  
Hermione was nowhere in sight... she was unconscious somewhere... but he had no time to think about this. He was supporting Neville to stand as he watched the battle continue.   
He saw Sirius battling with Bellatrix Lestrange... he watched as Sirius ducked the jet of red light. _

_"Come on, you can do better than that!" Sirius laughed. He just kept on laughing at her, a smile spread wide on his face as if he were having the time of his life.  
This was the part Harry dreaded most. This was the part was the part where he tried to call out to his godfather, tried to protect him, but would fail. _

_"Sirius, watch out!" Harry tried to scream, but no sound spilled from his lips. Sirius laughed again, his voice echoing through out the room. "SIRIUS!" Harry screamed once more as a second jet of pure blood red light hit him square in the chest. Harry froze as if he were made of ice. Laughter was still clinging to the dark pools of Sirius' eyes as they widened in shock at being struck. _

_Harry dropped Neville and pulled out his wand, trying to get to Sirius before it was too late.  
Dumbledore turned to the dais as Harry watched Sirius helplessly.  
Then, something else happened... Hermione was there... _

_She's supposed to be unconscious and safe somewhere... Harry thought. _

_Hermione was running towards Sirius at incredible speed. She was beautiful, compassion and love and the world pulsing in those chocolate brown eyes.  
It seemed to take forever for Sirius to fall and Hermione to reach him. Harry could still save them. There was still time... he reached out to save the two of them... _

_"No Harry," Dumbledore said as he placed his hand on Harry's arm and lowered it slowly. _

_"I have to save them!" Harry sobbed as he watched Hermione grasp hold of Sirius' arm and try to help, but instead she was being pulled down with him. _

_"No Harry. You have to let them die. You're too late to help them. You let them down, and now it's too late... they're dead," Dumbledore said in resolution as his best friend and his godfather disappeared beyond the veil which gave a soft flutter.  
They had just fallen through the archway and would reappear any second! He watched expectantly... but the two did not return. _

_"SIRIUS! HERMIONE!" he screamed in horror. He ran towards the archway, towards the veil, but his feet were melting to the floor and the archway seemed to be swallowing itself hole, disappearing into some sort of invisible black hole... _

_"NO!" he sobbed in horror as the archway disappeared into itself. _

_Dumbledore placed a soft hand on Harry's shoulder and sighed. _

_"You let them die, Harry. You let them die and they'll never forgive you for It." _

Harry woke up screaming in horror at what he had just seen. Something rippled through his body as that scream released all the pain and frustration he felt after the dream.  
He slammed the heels of his hands to his temples with sweat dripping from his scalp. His scar burned lividly and he screamed again. There was an audible cracking sound. He screamed until he was breathless, trying to block out the images of Sirius and Hermione falling beyond the veil, helpless...

"Harry!" someone was screaming though he didn't hear it. "Harry!"

Someone was shaking him violently by the shoulders. Harry's eyes fluttered open and tears spilled heavily from his eyes. Ron stood there in front of him, only recognizable by his vivid red hair. He fumbled for his glasses and slipped them onto his nose.

Worry was plastered over his best friend's face.

"Oh god, Ron," Harry mumbled and covered his face.

"Are you all right, Mate? Bloody hell I thought you were dying or something!" Ron exclaimed, having gone incredibly pale. Harry shook his head, his breathing heavy.

"Just a nightmare... just a dream..." he reassured himself.

"Must have been a hell of a nightmare," Ron mused and then let out an impressed whistle.

Harry shot a look up at Ron, who was looking above his head.

"Why do you say that?" Harry demanded. Ron just merely pointed above Harry's head. Harry turned around and looked where he was pointing. The glass window two feet above his head that was at least five inches thick had a split going right down the center, all the way through.

Small little cracks stretched from the larger one, causing it to look as if the glass were on the verge of shattering.

Harry hugged himself and trembled. He was no longer afraid of his nightmare...

He was afraid of himself.


	29. Chapter XXIX

_Harry was running towards Sirius and Hermione as they were falling towards the veil. This time, Dumbledore was not there to hold him back. This time he reached them but not in time. This time they had saved themselves.  
Hermione had helped Sirius and they stood, merely inches from the looming veil.  
Harry was on the verge of bursting into tears when he saw this. He smiled and threw his arms tightly around Sirius, and then tightly around Hermione. They embraced him gratefully.  
There was no battle going on behind him. It was just the three of them, smiling and laughing.  
Everything was perfect. _

_"See Harry, I told you I'd always be here for you," Sirius said and ruffled Harry's hair. "You would have sacrificed yourself to save me. You're so much like your father," Sirius said with admiration in his eyes. Tears welled up in the vivid jade color of Harry's eyes and he bit his lip to refrain from crying. _

_"And you really didn't think some nasty tumor was going to kill me, did you Harry? I mean you're hopeless at Potions without me. I can't very well leave you behind to lumber through it on your own," she said with a bright smile. She was no longer skinny and frail, but full-figured and strong. He couldn't help but let the tears spill heavily from his eyes. _

_"You're both alive!" he exclaimed, still not quite believing. He had seen the two fall behind the veil so many times that the two of them actually surviving was unbelievable. _

_"Of course Harry. Unless you call us standing here talking to you being something other than alive then again I did once have a cat that died and still followed me about weeks after," Sirius pondered. Hermione smiled up at him and then turned her radiance to Harry. _

_"I swear Harry, you're a mess! No wonder you weren't made Prefect...just look at the state of you! Now please try to do something with your hair," she mumbled and shook her head. Harry laughed at her motherly advice and tried to smooth down his ruffled, raven hair. _

_"I thought you two died...you're alive!" he exclaimed again. _

_"Yes, but your parents are. You're the reason they're dead," Sirius said with a sigh. Harry's smile fell. _

_"No... what are you saying?" Harry asked in horror. Emotions were beginning to build in his chest. _

_"Harry, everyone knows it's your fault that your parents are dead," Hermione said as she rolled her eyes. _

_"No! Voldemort killed them!" Harry screamed at her, the emotion clogging his head and heart. _

_"Control your temper, Harry! James would never act the way you do! Also, if you hadn't been born, your parents could have escaped Voldemort easier than the snap of my fingers!" Sirius said with a sigh. "They were so disappointed when they had you. They thought you would amount to something great!" Sirius shook his head sadly. _

_"No... shut up!" Harry screamed at his godfather. _

_"It's true. Look at yourself Harry! You're a spoiled, selfish brat who has a saving-people-complex. I mean you just need all the glory, don't you? Just like Draco said!" she sighed. _

_"I don't! I... I just want to help people!" _

_"No, you want to make yourself look better by seeming caring. You have a horrible temper, Harry! You pretend to be someone you're not!" Hermione scolded.  
Anger slowly rose in Harrys chest, burned in his throat. He remembered the mirror... he remembered how he had broken it... he couldn't let his temper get out of control... _

_"You're the boy-who-lived but you're also the boy who killed his parents! You killed my best friend in the entire world, Harry Potter!" Sirius sobbed at Harry, tears forming in his dark eyes. "I wish I had fallen through that veil! If I had I wouldn't have to deal with a disappointment of a godson who killed the people who mattered the most to me!" he screamed at Harry. _

_"I hope that this tumor really does kill me, Harry. I hope that I die so I dont have to suffer through any more of your complaining or self-pity. I hope I die so I dont have to listen to you mope around or take your anger out on the world or complain about how your silly scar hurts. Youre just a foolish boy who got lucky a couple times. Fame has gotten to your head you're worse than Malfoy. Why do you think that I spend most of my time with him?" Hermione asked in a snarl. _

_"Just shut up!" Harry screamed, falling to his knees in horror and pain. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to hear this. "Just shut up!" _

_"I hate you, Harry Potter..." _

_"Shut up!" _

_"You're a disappointment to your parents..." _

_"Shut Up!" _

_"You are no longer my godson..." _

_"SHUT UP!" Harry screamed one last time and felt the ripple of power rush through him again. He opened his eyes and there was no a broken window, but Sirius being shoved backwards by some sort of invisible force that knocked him past the veil.  
Hermione stood there silent, staring at the veil. She turned to Harry. Her face was cold and impassive. _

_"You killed him, Potter. You really are a murderer," she hissed and then chased Sirius through the veil, disappearing forever from Harry's life. _

_Harry threw his head back and screamed. _

Ron had been sitting at breakfast. He had been talking about the upcoming Quidditch Match and a move he was planning on doing when he noticed that Harry wasn't exactly paying attention. He was slowly nodding off.  
Ron sighed. That's what he gets for having nightmares like that. He remembered how the glass had just been cracking. Ron had felt the surge of whatever it was. It seemed to radiate from Harry... he couldn't describe what it was, but he knew that it was Harry who had done that to the window.

"Hey, Ginny, ready for the match tomorrow?" Ron asked his sister.   
Ginny shrugged. She looked tired, worn out. He sighed. Harry was having nightmares and his sister was slowly going into depression. Hermione was going to be dead in two weeks and she was being all cuddly with his school rival.

What was wrong with this school?

He picked at his pancakes, thinking about Hermione. He remembered how he had spent hours trying to scrub her blood from his hands as he sobbed... he had cried so much that he was completely dried out. He was completely numb.

He listened to Harry mutter in his sleep about something... something about being alive. Ron sighed and shook his head. The poor chap.

For once in his life, Ron wasn't hungry. He looked around at all of these happy faces, none of them knowing that the smartest girl in school was slowly dying. Her brain was being popped by some stupid tumor. Ron hated tumors. They were stupid.

Then, Harry gripped the table in his sleep. He dug his fingernails into the wood.

"Just shut up," Ron heard him mutter. Ron furrowed his eyebrows.

"Mate.. wake up..." Ron shook Harry's shoulder gently.

"Shut up!" Harry cried out in his sleep. Ginny's eyes snapped to Harry.

"Is he alright?" she asked. Others were beginning to stare at Harry. Their eyes focused on him as his face scrunched up and tears fell from his sleeping eyes. There were whispers and people pointing...

"SHUT UP!" Harry bellowed and with a jerk of his body he fell backwards and onto the floor. Ron could feel it now. It was the same feeling that had woken him the night before, right before the window had begun to crack...

"Ginny, we have to wake him up!" Ron cried. Ginny leapt to Harry's side and shook him violently.  
They shouted at him to wake up. Ron could feel his hair begin to stand on end. Ginny's hair was sticking out in all directions.

"What's happening?" Ginny muttered as she reached up and touched her hair. That was when Harry let off a scream like nothing they had ever heard before.

They were literally thrown backwards by some sort of unseen force. The air seemed to vibrate around Harry, and the plates and utensils and dishes on all of the tables began to vibrate. The students watched in horror as for the longer Harry screamed, the more the plates and dishes rattled and clanked. Food was spilled everywhere, goblets knocked over. People cried out as their robes were ruined.

Ron struggled to walk towards Harry, though he felt like he was walking through thickened water. He stood over Harry and bent down. Sweat was dripping off of his forehead as he strained to raise his arm.   
Somehow he managed to swing his hand down and slap Harry hard across the face.  
Harry's eyes shot open and he gasped. There was a loud clatter as all the dishes become perfectly still. Not another sound was made in the Great Hall as everyone turned to stare at Harry's sweating and dishevelled person. He looked in horror from one staring face to another.

" have to see Hermione... I killed him..." he sobbed and ran from the Great Hall and sprinted towards the Head Common Room


	30. Chapter XXX

"Killed who? Oh dear, what happened? Harry, tell me!" Hermione cried and led Harry to the couch. Draco came on and was slipping a shirt on over his bare chest, his eyes filled with hate for Harry yet still mild concern and curiosity.

"I killed Sirius," Harry sobbed and buried his head in Hermione's shoulder. A rush of relief came over her face and she stroked his head soothingly.

"Oh Harry," she whispered and kissed the top of his head sweetly. Anger and jealousy filled Draco but she shot him a warning glare. He threw his arms up in frustration and stormed back into his bedroom. "It wasn't your fault," she tried to reassure him and stroked his arms soothingly. His sobs had died down into a whimper.

"You don't understand, Hermione. He told me...he told me I was a disappointment... and that I was I wasn't... his godson anymore," he said through his hiccups. He still had his face buried in the curve from Hermione's neck to her shoulder, and he was breathing deeply and shakily.

At first Hermione was in horror and shock that Sirius would ever say such a thing, and then he continued.

"Then you told me that I was self-obsessed and I had a hero complex and I was pretending to be someone I wasn't... that I didn't care I just wanted attention..." he continued, more calmly. Then his voice began to crack again as he continued. "Then... then you told me you wish you would die so you wouldn't have to deal with me anymore... and Sirius... and then I... I lost my temper and shoved him beyond the veil..." he continued before giving an extra large hiccup.

"Harry, it was just..."

"You told me that you hated me, Hermione! You called me a murderer and walked through the veil!" he cried out angrily and jerked back to look her in the eyes. "Please tell me you don't feel that way," he begged quietly.

"Of course not, Harry!" she assured him. "It was all just a nightmare. Sirius never said or thought those things, I assure you. Please calm down," she begged with him. He held onto her tightly, breathing heavily and trying to control his emotions. After a few minutes, he pulled away and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry... here I am, being the exact thing that you called me in my nightmare. I mean I'm just feeling sorry for myself when..." she placed a firm hand on his shoulder before giving it a firm squeeze.

"Harry, I want to be here for you. It's a pleasant change being needed by others," she said quietly. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand in his own large, square one. She noticed that his hands were rough and callused, barely even considered soft even in the folds of his skin. She could tell housework, yard work, Quidditch, and just plainly working to survive had taken its toll on his hands.

"Harry! Hermione! Open up! Bloody hell what's going on?" Ron voice called stubbornly from the portrait. She heard Sir Bentley.

"I say, Miss Granger. Please open up quickly if you know this boy. I fear he might be on the verge of burning me down."

Hermione hurried to the portrait entrance and it opened quickly. Ron burst inside, Ginny close behind him. Ron looked at Hermione and froze. His eyes flickered to the back of her head. Tears filled his eyes and he embraced her tightly, just as he had at the very beginning of the year.  
She sighed and let him hold her. He was strong and reassuring, just like Draco and Harry. She was blessed to have such strong and protective men in her life.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry," he said, trying to control his emotions. "You know I'd face a hundred giant spiders for you," he added. Hermione giggled.

"I think that's one of the nicest things... you've ever said to me," she smiled at him brightly, tears filling her eyes. She was about to say anyone but then remembered everything Draco had told her.

"Yes... well... no offense or anything, Hermione, but there's something much more important going on," Ron said. Hermione smiled even brighter.

"Actually, that's even nicer than the spider comment."

"It's good to have you back, Hermione," Ginny told Hermione and then hugged her quickly and awkwardly. "We're always here for you," she added quickly before following her brother into the Common Room. Harry sat guiltily on the chair, taking what Ron was dishing out.

"Bloody hell, Harry! What exactly was going on in there?" Ron demanded to know quite loudly.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked Ginny in a whisper as the boys continued to argue.

"Well, at breakfast this morning Harry was having some sort of nightmare. Then he started screaming and... I don't know... some sort of energy wave or something knocked Ron and I back quite a ways. Then all the dishes were shaking like mad like there was an earthquake or something. All the while Harry was screaming... somehow Ron managed to slap Harry and wake him up and everything just became still," Ginny explained quickly.  
Hermione's eyes widened.

"I don't know what happened! Ron I don't even know if I did it!" Harry exclaimed in annoyance.

"Oh please! You have know what you're doing to be able to do it in your sleep!" Ron snapped.

"Yea? Well how did I blow up my aunt? Hmm? And in my fifth year how is it that I somehow electrocuted my uncle into not throttling me? And last year! Remember when Snape wouldn't shut up and somehow his cauldron exploded? I did that! I don't know how!" Harry screamed at Ron in anger.

"Ron, it's not Harry's fault," she told the redhead. Ron glanced at her and then furrowed his eyebrows.

"I know it's not HIS FAULT! I just wanted to know how he ruddy well did it!" Ron stomped his foot. Hermione sighed loudly.

"Well apparently Harry has so much magic repressed inside of him that sometimes it just sort of... well... comes out in bursts," she said with a shrug. "At times of high emotional stress there must be some sort of overflow"

"So you're telling me when Harry has a temper his mojo gets out of whack?" Ron demanded to know. Hermione paused for a moment and thought over the strange saying.

"Well... yes... I suppose you could say that," Hermione mumbled. Ginny gasped a little and Ron threw up his hands.

"So, Harry isn't just famous and rich, he has to be an all-powerful wizard! In the name of Merlin, Harry, how'd you get off so lucky?" Ron shouted.

"Lucky? Lucky! Ron, my parents are DEAD! SIRIUS IS DEAD! EVERY NIGHT I HAVE NIGHTMARES THAT I'M KILLING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY! I'M BEING NEGLECTED AND PRACTICALLY ABUSED BY MY AUNT AND UNCLE AND MY BEST FRIEND IS GOING TO BE DEAD IN TWO BLOODY WEEKS! YOU CALL THAT EFFING LUCKY?" Harry screamed.

The coffee table in the middle of the Common Room made an incredibly loud cracking sound as it split in two. Draco's Transfiguration essay spilled onto the floor, as did Hermione's bottle of ink. Everyone stared at Harry in absolute wonder. His face turned red and he sat back down on the couch, for he had stood in anger while he was screaming at Ron. He buried his face in his hands.

"I wish I weren't the boy-who-lived... I wish I were the boy-who-had-parents or the-boy-who-had-a-godfather... what I really wish is that I were the-boy-without-a-ruddy-scar," he mumbled grumpily.  
Hermione laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly.

"Even if you are the boy-who-doesn't-have-parents, and the-boy-without-a-godfather... and even a boy-with-a-ruddy-scar, we all still love you," she mumbled and gave him an extra tight squeeze. Ron and Ginny nodded.

"Yea... sorry for the outburst mate. You know I didn't mean it. It's just... I mean I'm barley considered a wizard and I can't even afford dress robes, and here you are... you know what, never mind. I guess we both have things the other wants," Ron laughed as his ears turned red.  
Harry laughed and smiled, the last of his frightened tears drying on his face.

"But you know what we both have that everyone else wants?" Harry asked.

"Uh... fiendishly good looks?" Ron asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Well, besides that," Harry laughed and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"No idea, mate."

"We... meaning all of us... have a friendship that I don't think anyone ever imagined possible," Harry said with a sigh and the others were silent with small, coy smiles on their lips.

Little did they know that there was a certain blonde-haired ferret leaning against his doors and fighting off the sadness trying to swallow him he brushed the tears from his eyes and whispered to himself.

"Potter, you don't know how right you are."


	31. Chapter XXXI

**Thanks for the Support**

* * *

Harry and Ron went off to the Astronomy Tower for class while Ginny went to Charms. Hermione didn't have class for another half an hour.

"I'm off to Transfiguration," Malfoy mumbled as he stepped out of his bedroom, his silver and green tie lying loosely around his neck. She smiled and walked up to him, tying his tie gently.  
He smiled down at her as she did so.

"Don't you look handsome?" she asked with a giggle.

"Just irresistible... I can't help it," Draco shrugged and Hermione giggled. She took a firm grasp on the tie and pulled him down into a sweet, lingering kiss. "How's your head?" he asked and gently ran his fingers across the white bandage. She sighed.

"It's a bit sore, but nothing you wouldn't expect from toppling down a flight of stairs," she shrugged. He laughed and gave her an extra hard squeeze. Then he reached into his robes and pulled out a manila envelope.

"An owl delivered this to my window this morning... it's addressed to you. I knew you, Potty and his pet Weasels were all bonding...

"Malfoy!"

"Sorry... that Harry, Ron, and Ginny were all here so I held onto it. Don't worry... I know not to open your mail anymore," he laughed and handed the envelope to Hermione. She smirked and gave him a peck on the lips before he left for class.

She looked at the envelope and didn't recognize the handwriting that had her name scrawled messily. She sighed and opened it up quietly.  
She pulled out the folded paper and began to read.

_Hermione (I hope I spelled that right), _

_It's Billy from St. Mungo's. Remember me? You told me to keep in touch so I figured it'd be best if I sent the first letter. I mean you don't exactly know where I live. Anyways, how are you? How are you feeling? Fallen down any staircases lately? _

_Sorry if my sense of humor offends you. _

_Nathan came out of treatment looking better than he has in weeks. It's so great to see him this way. I really think that there's a high chance he'll recover. According to the Healers all signs are pointing to that the cancer is dead. You don't know how relieved that makes me. If they can help my brother, who says they still can't help you? I know that you don't want to hear this, but I mean maybe there's something that the Healers haven't thought of, or they have thought of and haven't risked it. I mean you can't just give up so willingly! _

_I'll stop talking about that depressing subject. How is Ginny? I still feel really guilty about breaking up with her. Maybe she'll even consider taking me back. If Nathan gets well I hope to continue seeing her. She was really something special to me. _

_Have you found anyone special? If these really are your last two weeks then you should try to find that one person and hold onto them with all your might. Don't let anything get in the way of the way your heart feels. I did that and I've never regretted anything more in my entire life. Then again, I am only sixteen. _

_I've always wanted to try Quidditch. I think it'd be bloody incredible to soar about on a broom for hours on end, playing sports, using your actual brain for strategic skills, and so on and so forth. Do you enjoy Quidditch? Of course you do! Its the best bloody sport in the world, and I'm just a muggle! _

_By the way, you aren't one of those types who hate all Muggles and everyone who has muggle parents, now are you? _

_I don't think you are. You seem too nice to be one of those god-awful characters. _

_I suppose I should stop boring you now. It's just I can't believe that the chances of Nathan's survival have tripled! Im just so happy. Everything would be perfect if you could get well too. I'll stop bringing up bad topics. _

_I hope you write soon. _

_Your hopeful friend, _

_Billy Harris_

Hermione smiled down at the letter and sighed. She pulled out a parchment and quill, dipping the tip in the ink before she began to write.

_Billy, _

_This is Hermione. Yes you did spell my name correctly, and I thank you for writing to me. _

_It's such great news that Nathan is better. And no, for your information, I have NOT fallen down any staircases lately. I've only tripped over my own feet lately, thank you very much.  
Ginny is doing very well. I hope this doesn't hurt, but she seems to have moved on. After you broke up with her you couldn't have expected her to wait for you to come around. I wish that you had just told her the truth instead of trying to protect you and her from the pain involved. There will always be the same amount of pain, but how it is distributed is up to you. I hate to say this, but I doubt that there will be anything between you two again. I don't want to be mean, just honest. _

_I have found someone special, actually. Well, I think he's special. Things are really confusing between he and I. He isn't my boyfriend and we aren't dating, but still I think I might love him. He was cruel to me for six years straight and now for some reason I can't stop thinking about him. I really care about him. The hard part is that we can't tell a soul about us because no one would approve.  
It's hard to keep it a secret. _

_I do enjoy watching the game, but only when it's my house playing. Mostly because my best friends are captain/seeker of the house team, keeper, and a chaser. Also the boy that I'm technically not seeing is a Seeker for one of the other House Teams. By the way, it would be most appreciated if you didn't mention this boy to anyone. As I said, it's direly important that it remains a secret.  
Also, I really don't enjoy flying very much. Actually I'm quite frightened of it. _

_No, I'm not one of those types who discriminate against mixed blood witches and wizards. In fact, I'm a muggle-born; or a "mudblood" in vulgar terms. _

_You didn't bore me in the least. I'm so happy that Nathan will be getting better. I hope you write back soon and keep me updated on everything that is happening. It's nice hearing about someone with a condition similar to mine getting better. _

_Sincerely, _

_Hermione Granger_

She read over the letter approvingly. She tucked it into her pocket as she looked at her watch, realizing she was about to be late for class. She swore that she'd send it as soon as it was over.  
With that she picked up her books and ran from the room and through the portrait, not paying attention to where she was going as she quickened her pace and strapped her pack shut.  
She ran head-on into a body, stumbling backwards and falling on the floor. By the loud thump from the other person, she assumed that they too had fallen backwards.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" Hermione exclaimed and stood quickly. The young woman she had bumped into was lying on the floor, her eyes closed. She obviously did not attend the school. She wore long jogging pants and a white sweatshirt. She was tall and thin, cinnamon colour hair falling thick and messily about her shoulders.  
She was a very pretty girl.  
She sat up, keeping her eyes closed at first. She rubbed her head and mumbled something. Hermione helped the girl stand up.  
She was a very tall girl, nearly the same height as Harry.  
She knelt down to the floor and picked a cane up. Hermione had not seen that before. She held it out and slid it across the ground and the end came into contact with Hermione's foot.

The girl opened her eyes slowly and Hermione cried out in shock and horror.

The girl had no pigments in her eyes. No pupils were there. Her eyes were simply unflawed and milky, no other colour at all. They were just pure voids of white. She did not look directly at Hermione, yet right by her.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Harry Potter."


	32. Chapter XXXII

Harry was returning with Ron to the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry was still a bit awkward after sobbing with Hermione from the aftershock of a nightmare, but he tried to act as collected as possible. He was nervous that Ron would pick a fight with him and his power would just explode from him. He was nervous he would do something wrong. He was nervous that something bad was going to happen.

"Pumpernickel," Harry stated to the Fat Lady, who bowed and moved aside for the two of them to climb in. They were discussing their latest win against Hufflepuff in Quidditch. With a smile they laughed and walked into the Common Room, not expecting visitors.

"And remember the save I made when we were down by 10 points? Bloody hell, Harry, if I play that good against Ravenclaw then we'll be a shoe-in for the finals!" Ron exclaimed gleefully.

"Harry? Harry Potter?" a light and sweet voice drifted over to them. They looked at the couch. A young girl sat there, wearing sweats. Cinnamon hair fell delicately in front of her face. She was a very beautiful girl, though Harry didn't understand why she didn't open her eyes.

"Erm… that's me," Harry mumbled. The girl nodded with a bright smile that seemed to light up the room.

"I've been waiting for you. Tell your friend to join us," she said and motioned for them. Harry looked at Ron, who shrugged with raised eyebrows. They walked over and sat at the couch directly across from them. "I hope this isn't a bad time. Your friend Hermione Granger let me in and told me to wait for you here," she said, her hands folded in her lap.  
Her eyes were still closed, and it was making Harry uncomfortable.

"Who are you?" Ron asked. The girl titled her head slightly towards Ron, though she still did not face him. Why wouldn't she just open her eyes?

"My name is Amora Vinnopal," she answered. "Though please refrain from calling me Amora. I'd prefer it if you called me Amy," she told them with her sweet smile. Harry felt something flop about in his stomach. It felt nice.

"The name's Ron Weasley," Ron said and reached out towards her, his hand in position for her to grasp and shake. She did not reach out to take it and did not acknowledge its presence, so he awkwardly withdrew it.

"Do you happen to have a sister?" she asked.

"Yes… do you know her?"

"No, sorry," she said with a shrug. Ron's mouth opened for a moment, but he shut it before looking at Harry and shrugging. The girl was quiet for a minute, the silence making Ron and Harry even more awkward. Neville all of a sudden walked through the door, looked at the three of them and furrowed his eyebrows, and headed up to the boy's dormitory.

"I'm sorry, I just don't wish for anyone else to hear this. I'm sure Harry would like to keep it as discrete as possible," she giggled.

"You knew Neville was coming?" Harry asked in surprise. The girl nodded, the smile wide on her face. It still looked so strange that her eyes were shut. He had the urge to pry them open.

"Yes. He's been spending much too much time handling magical fertilizers," she whispered seriously. Ron couldn't help but laugh. Harry smiled at this and ran a hand through his hair. The girl titled her head to the side and stretched.

"So, why are you here?" Harry asked, leaning in a bit. The girl licked her dry lips and seemed to think about what she was going to say. She opened her mouth and then closed it again, thinking some more.

"Harry, do you have any idea the power you possess?" she asked in a whisper. Harry drew back a little. What was she talking about?

"What?" Ron asked for him. The girl sighed and then raised her hand. She waved it delicately around him. Her face was serene, calm, and impassive. Harry watched in fascination.

"I can feel it. I don't know how you can't, but I can. It's like I'm standing in a freezing windstorm, but two suns are throbbing so close its singing the hairs on my face. Here," she said, pointing to the scar on his head.

"Are you off your rocker?" Ron laughed. The girl was impassive still, and she lowered her hand and placed it gently on Harry's chest.

"But even more here," she finished before drawing back and sitting firmly in her seat. She waited for their responses.

"Are you some sort of Seer or something?" Harry mumbled. The girl laughed and ran her fingers through her bangs, tucking them behind her ear. Harry felt his own fingers tingle and he could almost feel the silky hair between them. He didn't know how such a small gesture could stir so much inside of him.

"No, not at all. I cannot predict the future, see the past, or say other obvious nonsensical things, as you seem to think all predictions. You should have more of an open mind, Ron."

"Me? I thought you were talking to Harry!" Ron exclaimed. She titled her head slightly so she faced Ron, her eyes still squeezed tightly shut.

"No. Harry is open-minded. Apparently predictions have come true for him before, so he believes. You, however, have no belief in it at all," Amy told him. "There are powers and things that even you are not aware of… especially inside yourself." Ron turned crimson at this statement and Harry smiled.  
She turned and almost faced Harry again, though she had missed by a few inches.

"So… why are you here?" Harry asked. She paused for a moment.

"To help you," she replied. "To help both of you. To help all of you."

"How?"

"You're all like fizzy drinks. Potential is bubbling up inside of you, waiting for the right person to flip the cap and let out your exceptional quality. Ron, you are like that fizzy drink. Harry…" she paused for a moment.

"What?" he asked, his palms sweating nervously.

"You are like a shaken up soda pop. You're on the verge of exploding. I'm the one who is going to help you release all that energy… without letting anyone get hurt. It's what you're afraid of I see that. I see that you're so terrified of your own capabilities that you don't even want to pick up your wand."  
Harry stared at her, anger boiling up inside of his stomach.

"How can you see that I'm afraid? You won't even open your eyes to look at me!" He shouted at her.

"I'm keeping my eyes closed so you won't be afraid."

"If I'm so afraid of myself, then I shouldn't be afraid of you! Look at me!" Harry shouted at her, guilt filling him for exploding at her like that. She had hit a sensitive nerve. The girl knelt down and picked up a cane off the floor, which she had slipped under the couch. Harry stared at it in shock as she held it, and he realized she was blind.  
He was in more shock when she opened her eyes. Ron let out a scream of terror when he saw what lay beneath those lids.

Pure white balls, orbs, or gleaming spheres were in her eye sockets. They were radiant, purer white than freshly fallen snow. Harry thought that if he stuck his finger into the white it would just keep going, as if she had no eyes but just white… white nothing.

She did not look at them, but looked straight past them. There was no anger, hurt, or jealousy in her serene face. She opened her mouth and spoke with her angelic voice before turning and leaving the Common Room.

"I was born a freak, just like you. I can't look at you, Harry. I may be blind, but you'd be astonished at the things I see."


End file.
